Best way to prepare an older child (10) for surgery?

[fluffyhamster]

DS (age 10) has to have some groin surgery within the next month.

I am already very anxious about it, but am trying to to transfer my anxieties.

When we had a meeting with the consultant yesterday, DS actually asked to leave in the middle, as he felt sick when the consultant began to explain (in a very nice, child-friendly way) what would happen. DH had to take him outside.

I'm not sure how to handle the period in the run-up to the surgery? It's not the first surgery he's ever had - he had a little op (with a GA) when he was 2.
Obviously I don't want to be constantly mentioning it, but I want to make sure he asks any questions/ talks about his worries/fears.

Once we get a date, should I tell him, and risk him worrying during the 'countdown', or just tell him a couple of days before?

He is a bit of a thinker, and I think he have sleepless nights about it .

Any thoughts/ experience?

I've got a child who has had lots of surgery and will be having more. Not as old as 10 though and that makes it slightly more complicated. Children seem to worry more about things that wont happen so I would try to ask him what he is thinking about. Perhaps he's concerned about them seeing his willy? Or about accidentially wetting himself? Or about the pain? There are many things that he may be concerned about both related and unrealted to the surgery itself. If he does express any such worries and you have no idea I would just calmly tell him that I would find that out for him (and then you call his consultant/doctor/gp/nurse to find out and tell him when you know). Don't make a big deal out of any concerns, take them seriously but don't panic about them. If he doesn't express any specific concerns don't press him as he might very well just be trying not to think about it. I would also get him involved (when you talk to him a few days before the surgery) in planning what he might want to do after the surgery, both directly after it and while at home recovering. Meaning I would ask him what books/movies/games he would like to bring to the hospital and what food/treats/drinks he might like. That might get him focussing more about the after than the surgery itself. Also, having something to look forward too like a gift (new book or movie or game) might be helpful. You could also get in touch with the family liasion officer at the hospital who may be able to help you with further practical advice (like let you visit the ward before surgery to make your boy more comfortable or anything else you may think would be helpful. They should also be able to help you make him more at ease on the day itself). My dd is a patient at Great Ormond Street and we have a fab family liason offier there so would recommend getting in touch with that person (should be connected either to the clinic your boy is patient with). I wish you and your boy all the best and hope it goes smoothly for your boy).

oops meant to write that the family liason officer is normally (at least at Great Ormond Street Hopsital) connected to clinic or outpatient unit. So call your clinic and ask them, if not call outpatient unit, if not you can ask what ward your boy will be in while waiting for surgery (being prepped etc) and that ward may be able to help you.