What 'that's not my .......' books should there be?

[Katz]

Following on from hippytrippynamedropper's quote on another thread for a

'That's not my philosopher, his views are too existentialist...'

what 'thats not my' books would you like to see in press?

"That's not my fanjo, it has a pelvic floor"

"That's not my toddler, it's not having a tantrum"

"That's not my MIL, she's not nosey"

"That's not by PFB, he's not beautiful/talented/clever/funny enough."

Some blogger woman wrote a 'That's not my house..'
I'll see if I can find it

"that's not my vibrator...its girth is too narrow!"

"That's not my boss...He is too understanding"

"That's not my husband...he is doing housework"

here

There was a very funny thread a while ago based on "That's not my DH/DP" ... the sort of thread you'd never show them

Following a conversation with my mum when her phone battery was low and she was frantically searching through various wires, I came up with "that's not my charger"

"Those aren't my boobs, they are much too firm and perky".

"Those aren't my eyes, they are too bright and alert".

Yawn ... DD in a sleepless phase ...

that's not my dinner, it's got junk food on the plate

that's not my car, mine is clean and not like a skip

that's not my living room, mine is fully colour co-ordinated and freshly vacuumed

that's not my book, i only read quality high-brow literature

just for starters

lol!

maybe we should suggest this for the next set of mumsnet books!

That's not my toddler, her finger's not up her nose,
That's not my toddler, She's not demanding "Peppa Pib",
That's not my toddler, She's doing as she's told,
Thats my toddler!! Perfect in every way!
(I like a happy ending).