Childminding - do you think this is OK?

[Nanga]

My daughter (7months) has just started with a childminder. I really like her and DD seems to love her too - big smiles when she sees her in the morning.

It's all going well, except... when I go and pick her up, more often than not, the CM's ten yr old daughter is playing with her, which is fine. I know how clucky young girls can get round babies, and it's nice to see her being doted upon. But when DH went to pick her up yesterday, DD was actually sitting on the CM's daughters bed, in her bedroom with the daughter and her daughter's friend playing with her, whilst the CM was in the living room with the other children(all on the same floor, as it's a bungalow).

I'm not sure I'm happy about this. On the one hand, DD was obvs quite content, and I'm sure the CM would have been there right away if she'd started to cry, and also, I'm right with the philosophy that the CM's house is a 'home from home' for DD and that she's part of the family whilst she's there.

However.... part of me thinks that the CM should be with her at all times, and not letting someone else look after her, regardless of whether it's a family member or a friend or whatever. The girl seems quite sensible, but who knows what they could be doing with her.

What do other people think, and would you say something?

I'd tend to agree with you.

Yes, I would say something.

Even though I trust my 10 year old daughter to help on occasions, e.g. keeping babies occupied while I'm getting ready for the school run, I am always in the same room.

I would never leave her with a 7 month old sitting on the bed. Most 10 year olds are responsible and caring and want to help out but they don't realise the accidents that can happen in a split second.

Bring it up asap otherwise you will be forever worrying.

I would say something - I am a cm, have a 12 year old daughter and mindees of 10 and 11 who have been with me since they were little. They are great with the little ones and love playing with them but, even though i trust them implicitly, I would never let them be in a room on their own with the baby sitting on a bed!! What rules does the cm have in place in relation to the older children interacting with the younger ones - my hard and fast rule is that only I am allowed to pick up and walk around with the babies - the older children can sit with them on their laps on the floor or hold their hands when they are starting to toddle around but absolutely no picking up and carrying!

Your post rang with me because I have a lovely 10 year old daughter who adores all the mindees but I would not, and have never ever, left her alone with them like that, she would probably give the baby a makover or something ditsy..

Its a really hard situation for you though but the CM has put you in it and so its her fault not yours.

I would just say something like, 'I know your daughter is lovely but I am not happy with her being in her bedroom without you being there' After all her room must be full of stuff a littlie could choke on.

Do see difficulty though, good luck.

I'm a cm too and I totally agree with Coral's post, especially regarding the picking up and carrying about.

A 7 month old would always be in the same room as me, and not be allowed to sit on a bed.

I do appreciate everything that has been said.

However, as the oldest of 5 kids, with 10.5 years between me and my youngest brother, I know I would often have taken him off and played with him while my mum got on with something else.

Perhaps it's different with siblings though.

no it's not ok. Tbh I wonder if anything happened to your baby while she was with the ten year old, and the cm was not there, whether it would be covered under her insurance.

My sister had a similar issue at a nursery where her ds was, where the manager's ten year old daughter would come into the baby room and play with the babies. The nursery was reported to ofsted (there were far greater issues than just that) and they were told that the child was not allowed in the baby room at all.

Not sure what rules would apply re CM's? could be worth talking to ofsted (not with specifics but just as a general advice) to see what their policy is.

I agree totally with Coral. The only time I have had to relax this rule was when I took on the 4 weeks old sister of 7 year old twins I have cared for since they were babies themselves. Although none of the other children I care for were allowed to pick her up or carry her around, her sisters were. Two reasons for this, her parents wanted them to be able to do this to help with bonding, and they were allowed to do so at home. I did get written permission form the parents to cover myself in the event of an accident and also they were told they could only do it when I was in the room when she was under a year old.

BTW, she is now 3 but thinks she is 10 as always been treated like one of the older kids by her sisters!

Have a friendly word with the childminder, especially if you are happy with all other aspects of her care. She should not be letting any of her mindies out of her sight anyway. When I created an upstairs craft/quiet room for the over 8s I care for Ofsted were quite happy with that as I had a baby monitor in the room and could hear them at all times, but did say that I could not allow any under 5s to use the room.

MM - that sounds lovely - an upstairs craft and quiet room for the older ones.

I havn't read entire I think when dd was 7 months this would have made me uncomfortable.

is the daughters bedroom down as a registered room?

When i was a childminder im sure i had to tell ofsted which rooms the children would be in and they were then checked for safty by the ofsted inspector.

Also im sure a friend of mine was told by ofsted to put locks on the rooms the minded children were not allowed in.

im a cm i would never leave my 10yr old dd upstairs with my 9mth old mindee,but when he does arrive in morning his mum quite often will give him to her while we are talking.