Gutted that my childminder has decided she doesn't want to look after my second baby

[mum2phoebs]

I am due in April and was hoping my childminder would look after this baby when I go back to work. She's done a fantastic job looking after my DD, now 3. Today she has told us that after lots of thinking she has decided she doesn't want to childmind anymore babies. I am absolutely devastated as I really want my next baby to experience the same childminder, I don't like any of the others in our village and definitely don't want the baby going to the local nursery - 1 because I prefer childminder environment and 2 becuase of the cost!

I won't need the baby to be looked after until Jan 2011 but am now worried sick as to what I'm going to do.

I've begged my childminder to reconsider saying I will buy any equipment she needs (as she has got rid of all the baby stuff)and even offered her more money!

If we do end up having a different childminder my DD will hate having to go to someone else, I just know it!

As well as being our childminder she has become a really good friend and I'm so sad now.

While I know from experience how stressful this can all be, there really is no point getting wound up about this now. So much can change in a year - your job situation, your CM's financial situation, her other mindees etc etc etc. IME trying to plan childcare this far in advance never works out. IME even when you do think you have it all sussed it can all go pear-shaped.

But I understand how upsetting this is. Not nice to be told your baby isn't wanted

Jan 2011 is a long, long time ahead for a cm to consider a placement, even for a sibling of a current mindee. I wouldn't have kept a place available that far in advance.

If you have to change cms, am sure your dd will adapt - but will she not then be in nursery and therefore not with cm as much anyway.

From a cm point of view, I kept a place open in the past for a parent on mat leave - costing me lots of lost income - and was then dropped in it when they changed days/hrs/timescale for children returning. She may be thinking of it from a business point of view - after all, that's what we all are doing. Providing a service to parents requiring childcare but running a business to pay our bills.

Don't stress about it now, just enjoy your pregnancy and look fwd to the time you will have at home with baby and dd. It will all work out in the end

in Jan 2011 will your eldest still need a childminder? won't she be at school?
I agree there is no point getting worked up about it now

She has said to me for months now that she won't have any more babies to mind, but would most probably make an exception for ours as we have become good friends too. So keeping a place open wouldn't be an issue.

My DD isn't there very often now as she is at playgroup for 5 sessions a week, but I worry about school holidays.

I thought my cm would say yes as most of the children she minds now are at school/playgroup so her income has dropped drastically.

I know you may think it early to start worrying but I like to be organised!

Yes in Jan 2011 my DD will still need a childminder for before and after school and school holidays

are you sure that you cant afford the nursery? The nursery I work in is cheaper than my childminder even with out the discount I would get.

I prefer a childminder for babies because I prefer the more home like environment, but a good nursery is better than a bad cm, and lots of babies do really well in nursery

luckily my childminder kept dd2s place open from 12 weeks pregnant she changed a retainer when she was born which is fair enough

I pay £3 an hour for my childminder (£21 a day), nursery is £38 a day!!!! And you have to pay nursery in full when children are on holiday or off sick etc...

I do worry about a bad cm as I live nextdoor to one which I have reported to Ofsted on numerous occasions but she is STILL minding!

Pippel - glad you are also organised like me, you have to be if you want a childminder I think! I reserved my space with my cm early on with DD1 which gave us chance to meet and get to know one another before the baby was even born. We went to see her once a week when she was born so her house was familiar straight away with DD.

I don't think there's such a thing as being too organised.

I'm obviously going to get upset about this as I'm 12 weeks at the mo so my emotions are all over the place!

YOur CM is probably thinking through the reality of looking after a baby whilst doing lots of playgroup & school runs - not a great combination.

Nearer the time I would ask her for cm recommendations she may well know some other good cm or have lost lots of other mindees and change her mind.