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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

My nanny shopping in my time?

19 replies

Colliewobbles · 08/09/2009 15:43

I was just looking for some opinions.

I have a very nice nanny. She seems to love my baby. She often brings her little gifts and seems genuinely smitten with her. My baby seems to like her back and will often crawl over for a cuddle and kiss her once I get home from work. She looks after her two days a week. 8.30 - 5.30.

However, I am growing concerned that the nanny is spending more and more time running her own chores while caring for my baby, the balance has not tipped but she seems to buy things most days while caring for her. Shoes, mops, t-shirts, food, and general household items.

I don't like the idea that baby spends a lot of time in the pushchair while the nanny browses in shops. I don't mind her picking up groceries especially if she is getting stuff in for us. But buying shoes on our time?! Is that taking it too far?? I am also concerned that she brings sweet treats and gives them to her to keep her happy in the pushchair for longer.

I do like our nanny. She is a nice person and I wonder whether she is a little bored in the afternoon so looking for ways to fill her time. She has come from a family where she cared for three boys down to just one very well behaved and happy go-lucky girl.

I would be very interested in other peoples opinions on this, especially nannies themselves. I don't want to upset her but I do want to be sure that if I say something to her (which I am thinking of doing) that it is fair.

Thanks in advance

Vicky

OP posts:

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limonchik · 08/09/2009 15:46

Maybe you could ask the nanny to do some more structured activities with your baby so she's not in the pushchair - swimming? Book her into a music group?

ib · 08/09/2009 15:48

How old is your baby? Maybe the nanny takes her in the pushchair at nap time and goes shopping while she is asleep? That wouldn't bother me at all.

willtryharder · 08/09/2009 15:56

I wouldn't be happy with this at all. As she is only with you for two days she has plenty of time to do her errands on her own time.

As for the sweet treats I would ask her not to give them to your dd. Just tell her that it is interfering with her evening meal.

I would also structure some activites for her to do.

Original poster

Colliewobbles · 08/09/2009 16:38

Thanks for your replies!

Sorry she is 14 months.

I do ask her to take her to the baby groups so she goes to one of those in the morning and then has the afternoon free.

She give her her tea at 4.30 and she still has a morning and afternoon nap.

I think in previous role she has had friends to meet up with. She was out of work for a while before we employed her and I think she is finding it difficult to meet people to talk to etc as she is now an older nanny.

OP posts:

AtheneNoctua · 08/09/2009 16:49

I would say one treat per day in the early afternoon and that's it. A toddler does not need multiple treats every day. In fact nobody NEEDS treats, and giving them all the time to a toddler will only develop a sweet toth in later life for that child. Not really a good thing.

I agree I'd sign them up for an activity. Swimming? Music?

But, really, I wouldn't really mind the shopping all that much. It won't be long until your child doesn't go for it. Actually, it sounds as if she is already there if she is feeding treats to appease her. I'd be more upset about the treats.

Laquitar · 08/09/2009 17:51

You mentioning shoes etc so can we assume that she doesn't hide the fact she did shopping? At least she is honest .
There have been other threads where the nanny has been lying about where she has been and that would concern me more.

Also is she free the other three days or she has another job in which case she has no other time for her personal errands?

Anyway if you don't like it it is your right to tell her. You could suggest an activity or suggest to put an ad in nannyjob.co.uk to meet other local nannies.

Tbh the sweets would bother me more. I don't mind treats (on sunday, on birthdays, playdates etc) but i don't like giving treats to dcs to keep them quite when they are bored/upset.

narna · 08/09/2009 18:57

I think you need to find out if the baby is having her nap when the nanny shops as Ib suggested.I think thats ok personally.
I was a nanny for a long time before i had my DC and did occasionally shop for personal stuff if i was out walking and the baby was sleeping but have quickly learnt that my own children are a nightmare if i take them shopping so i avoid it at all costs!
I think you are perfectly within your rights to ask her not to if it bothers you.

Podrick · 08/09/2009 19:03

I wouldn't have a problem with the shopping, is it really such a big deal?

FabBakerGirlIsBack · 08/09/2009 19:07

A 14 month old does not need sweets.

Some personal shopping is fine but not every day and tbh if she can't entertain a baby without going out to the shops then she isn't that good as nanny.

nannynick · 08/09/2009 19:13

Does your nanny drive? Is getting out and about a difficulty (clearly getting to shops is easy, but what about getting to other places such as parks, museums).

Mops - why does someone need more than one mop? Personally I don't even have one, as my kitchen floor is only about 2m x 1.5m!

allaboutme · 08/09/2009 19:14

I used to go shopping quite often in the afternoons when my baby was that age as he slept really well in the pram and I could shop while he napped.
It is most likely that your baby has her afternoon nap while the nanny shops - is that so bad?

sweethoney · 08/09/2009 19:47

If you are not happy with her shopping etc, you are being reasonable to ask her to stop. Nannies get paid by the hour to take care of the children. In any other job, no one would ever dream of doing personal chores in their work time.
As she is only working 2 days a week, she should organise activities for the baby.
When my baby was asleep, my nanny used to do 'nursery duties' such as children's washing, tidying/sorting toys or making up baby food for the freezer.
It is one thing picking up a few personal things if she is doing a little shopping for you but do buy shoes etc is a bit much.
My advice is to be a bit more specific in the things you want her to do (and not!) and ask her to keep a brief diary of what she does and so you know what activities she is doing with baby.

Podrick · 08/09/2009 20:53

Presumably she has another job though for the rest of the week?

Oligo · 08/09/2009 21:37

i try to see naptime as an equivalent to lunch/cofee break (shoe buying allowed if out) albeit restricted in that she is still responsible for the child. In the future when your daughter sleeps less and then not at all nanny will get fewer and then no breaks, so evens out over time.

Having said that a 14 month is not really a baby anymore and should be out of buggy being naturally active most of the day if not sleeping.

Say no to sweet treats! -unnecessary and being used for manipulation.

GirlsAreLOud · 08/09/2009 21:43

This wouldn't bother me at all, but then my DD is with a childminder and my view is that I certainly take my DD (13mo) round the shops and I don't expect anything different from my childminder.

no1childminder · 09/09/2009 11:48

Hi, Ive been a nanny for 6yrs and when I have sole care for a child if i need to go to the bank or pick up anything at the shops i always always try to do something for the child after. for example, a soft play or save time to go to the park on the way home. i think its really important to do this, and if, for whatever reason, i cant fit something in for the child i feel ever so guilty! (on the child) I am always honest to the parent and usually txt when im out to see if they need anything, and i always write down in a diary what i have done that day. I only go to the shops if i need to and i definately dont go if there is another practical time i can go, say on the weekend or on a day off. i think you should definately say something, just something along the lines of you dont mind once a week or if she does an activity with your child after you'll be much happier. trust me you should say something otherwise it will just keep brewing and as a nanny myself i always prefer the parent to say something rather than be unhappy. as for the sweet treats this is a horrible way to keep a child (a child you are being paid to care for) happy whilst you shop!

keep us posted!

RachieB · 10/09/2009 23:47

agree get her to meet up with other childcarers!

netmums.com nannyjob.co.uk etc

nannying can be lonely sometimes esp if only 1 child ,and maybe she doesn't want to go to groups etc by herself ?

NannyChels · 15/09/2009 21:51

I agree with RachieB...

Being a Nanny (and I'm only 22) baby groups can be scary as many other mums look down their noses at me as I look like a "Young Mum"... being a Nanny and going into such groups is horrid and makes you not want to go back!!

However... maybe some of your friends who have children and don't have childcare may want to do things with your Nanny?? I'm very close to my Families friends and children which makes it nice for the little ones I look after as well as their Mum and Dad!

Shopping isn't a big issue... Your baby, being 14months old will let your Nanny know in no uncertain terms if she's had enough in the buggy - maybe ask your Nanny to go to more groups or swimming or even to parks and the library as well as going to the shops... then you're little one will have a balance for everything??

Good Luck

catepilarr · 16/09/2009 13:12

perhaps i was lucky when i nannied and went to playgroups - i found them nice both for me and the little ones. i also look young (sometimes people still think i am sixteen ) but never had a problem with that? btw what's the problem with beeing a mum at 22??

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