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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

Advice needed on how to deal with mindee

22 replies

Beck88 · 01/07/2009 11:22

I currently childmind a little boy who turned 2 in April. He has been with us since he was 7 months old, on the whole he has his moments but isn't much trouble, our main issues are with his mother!

A few weeks ago I walked into the playroom to find him mid way through taking his nappy off, He looked rather worried when I found him so I put a clean one on and said nothing more.
A week later it happend again,he went down the side of the garden and managed to take it off completely. I mentioned it to his mum who said "oh yes he does that now, you had better watch out because sometimes he goes to the toilet on the carpet!" clearly a regular occurance at home so it would have been nice to have been warned!

Today he went down for his morning nap and I went upstairs to check on him a few minutes later, to find he had climbed out of his travel cot (completely usual and not usually a problem) and was taking his nappy off again!

His mums fairly hard to approach and I'm just as confused as he is! it's becoming a real issue and constantly having to go upstairs and check what he is up to, incase he goes one step futher.

Any advice on this would be much appreciated.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

FabBakerGirlIsBack · 01/07/2009 11:24

I am wondering if he is ready for potty training?

She could genuinely have forgotten to tell you. There is a lot to remember with kids!

Disenchanted3 · 01/07/2009 11:24

Hes taking his nappy off??

I don't see the problem.

If the thought of a child having a piddle on your carpet is SO very horrific to you then perhaps you chose the wrong career?

leonifay · 01/07/2009 11:28

i agree with fbg, does he take his nappy off when wet, soiled or ready to go to toile, or is it just random?

ask his mum if she feels hes ready yet? or has she started? (one of my mindees is being potty trained at home, but not at my house, i didnt realise untill mum mentioned in passing this morning that she was potty training him!)

leonifay · 01/07/2009 11:33

disenchanted, its not just a child piddling on the carpet, its another persons child weeing and pooing on the carpet in the house that you live in. and dont you think the child needs to be taught thats its not appropriate?

Disenchanted3 · 01/07/2009 11:36

pmsl @ not appropriate,

hes only just turned 2!!!

MatNanPlus · 01/07/2009 11:42

Put the nappy on backwards much harder for the child to remove.

Does seem strange that he is suddenly doing this and mum didn't think to mention it.

Elastoplast over the tapes at naptime works trick from dealing with nappy escapee when i nannied, parents went besurk when she took it off and 'decorated' the wall 1 weekend (i was away).

MatNanPlus · 01/07/2009 11:43

Maybe he is nappyfree at home?

bigchris · 01/07/2009 11:46

how on earth do you potty train your mindees if you dont like mess on your carpet

Original poster

Beck88 · 01/07/2009 11:48

Having a mess on the carpet if he is potty training isn't an issue at all. but he isn't potty training, I did mention maybe trying to his mum but she didn't seem keen.

OP posts:

Original poster

Beck88 · 01/07/2009 11:54

....besides, matters are a little different when he is going to bed in a travel cot!! should there be a mess in there it could make things a lot worse and awkward for when it comes to being used again, cleaned up or not it's hardly hygenic!

I'm just trying to understand as to why he may be doing it, he is here 3 days a week and will probably only do it once a week but several times during the day. It's like he suddenly remembers he can do it and only does it when he feels like it.
Also who am I to tell a mother to potty train her child.

OP posts:

bamboostalks · 01/07/2009 11:58

Lots of children take off their nappies though. My dd used to do it all the time, I don't get the problem.

Bramshott · 01/07/2009 12:04

DD2 (2 in March) does this, so I have started putting a pair of pants over her nappy to stop her. She doesn't do it that often though, so I may not have mentioned to the CM There's so much to remember at drop off, and surely it's just something they all do at this age - just like I haven't specifically warned the CM - "DD2 may have a tantrum now and scream 'no' and try to slap you in the face" - because that's what two year olds do?

nickschick · 01/07/2009 12:05

think yourself bloody lucky a child I nannied for when i took him to my house - pooed in the empty bath!!!!

Original poster

Beck88 · 01/07/2009 12:17

At 2 He is knowing, he needs to be taught right from wrong, he knows his manners and gets taught not to open cupboards etc wheres the harm in teaching where it's appropiate to have a nappy off and not!!
As a minder of other people children I am certain the other parents wouldn't take kindly to children walking around with no nappy on, I have children of all ages and sometimes it's not appropiate.
Whilst it may be okay for him to walk around with no nappy on at home, it's not in my house!

OP posts:

rubyslippers · 01/07/2009 12:26

my DS went through a phase of removing his nappy at around this age IIRC

he did grow out of it and i think it is a fairly usual phase

you can put him in a poppered vest which is hard to undo

madamy · 01/07/2009 12:35

my ds was 2 in May and constantly takes his nappy off if he can. So, I just put a poppered vest on him - easy! He does it for attention really as there's no pattern to it. I also think he likes the bare feeling!
Right now, he's running around in just his nappy and vest!

TheOtherMaryPoppinsDiets · 01/07/2009 12:36

at some of the replies here.

No it's not a problem per se if a child takes off their nappy but come on, would YOU all like someone else's poo wiped all over your home? Your carpets? Your sofas? by x3 different children potentially??

This isn't a sterile nursery wipe clean environment, it's someone's home.

Beck88 - get mum in for a chat maybe it's time they thought about starting training.

Mozzie2u22 · 01/07/2009 12:56

I would say its just what he's learnt to do at the moment - opening up the nappy is something he's intrigued with but then of course he can't put it back on himself. How about asking the parents if they could supply you with (or you use if you supply nappies) pull-up nappies that can't be unfastened so easily.

You have to let the parents know your concerns and that you would like to find a solution to this. If they don't want to potty train yet then fine, but suggest that they keep an eye on how often this is happening at home because he could be ready to potty train now and say that you're happy to help with that during the day with their consent.

I'm sure as a childminder you're quite happy to potty train the proper way you just need to know for sure if that is what is needed right now or if this little boy is just playing!

Good luck

Nat xxx

Original poster

Beck88 · 01/07/2009 12:57

thankyou, theothermarypoppinsdiets: it's nice to know people do understand where i'm coming from. I think getting mum in is my best option here.
I also think doing it for attention could be it!

OP posts:

Original poster

Beck88 · 01/07/2009 13:04

thanks Nat too, your right, I only need to know what route to take. I can't encourange potty training if it's not followed through at home.

If I just let him carry on with the attitude of never mind if he poos on the carpet because otherwise i'm in the wrong job, then god help my house and my other mindees!
I think you have to draw the line somewhere. wheres the harm in teaching a child to respect yours and other peoples homes. I certainly wouldn't want my child going into someone else's house, taking their nappy off and going to the toilet as and when they please!
Children are easily confused, no point in having one rule for one and sod the rest!

OP posts:

Bramshott · 01/07/2009 13:09

I don't think anyone was suggesting that Beck88 was unreasonable not to want mess on the floor, but what I think people were reacting too was the inference (and I'm sorry if you didn't mean to infer that Beck) that the OP was horrified that her mindee was doing this, and thinking it was a real problem.

I think what people were trying to get across is that it's not uncommon or unusual for this age, although obviously you need to prevent it whilst he is with you. I would just say to the mum that it's a problem, and you can't always stop it (eg at nap time), so could she supply pull ups / poppered vests / overpants / masking tape, or whatever is best to solve the issue.

tommypickles · 01/07/2009 13:55

Yeah I get that all the time. You mention to the parent some odd/unwanted behaviour from a child and they say "yeah they always do that".

When you see her next ask her how long he's been doing it and how she deals with it when he does do it.

If she basiclly does nothing about it, say that you can't have children weeing on your carpet all day and try to come to an understanding of how you will both deal with it, as and when it happens.

I had a child once who at 3 years old was still wetting all the time, mum had tried to potty train her from age 2, but it clearly wasn't working well, we'd have 2 or 3 accidents a day even at 3 years old!!

Mum refused to believe she wasn't ready yet, and paid for me to have the carpet cleaned a couple of times.

In the end I had her potty trained, but she still wets at home!! Sometimes it's just about what they're allowed to do at home, that's why you need to plan together how you will deal with something, it'll never work if you do one thing at your house and they do differently at theirs.

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