Just met really nice childminder but feel sad about going back to work...

[RunJHC]

Hi - looking for a bit of reassurance/advice. DS is 3.5 months but we've already started looking for a childminder for going back to work in December when he'll be 9 months.

Got a recommendation from a friend and went to see her this morning. Seems really nice, has 4 kids of her own (who are older) and seems to know what she's doing, nice flat, husband is a childminding assistant, other kids seem happy, takes kids out and about a lot. Said I would follow up references and let her know.

She's everything I hoped for and seems a nice mix of professional but friendly.

But I feel sad about it all generally - I think it's just because of going back to work and not being the only one looking after DS, but could my misgivings be something to do with the CM? Anyone else feel like this when they started looking for childcare?

i think your feelings are totally normally. very probably no one is going to seem as good as YOU at taking care of your son, so there will always be that bit of misgiving, IMO.

Good childminders are in demand so you should retain her if everything looks good and references check out, etc.

My (11 month) DS is settling in with his childminder last week and this week and so far so good. He hardly noticed when i turned up today and seemed to be having a grand time.

I'm a cm now but was in your position many years ago when youngest dd was born. Had to go back to work for financial reasons, beat myself up completely over leaving her but she loved her time at cms house. She was one of the family and at 18yrs old still visits cm now.

CMs now have to do so much training that you will be leaving your ds in good hands. Trust your instincts and your friends recommendation. From one who's been there, you will feel worse on that first day back at work than your DS.

Sign that contract

you have 6 months to continue to visit the said childminder and this wil help you feel more at ease. Even after you have checked references and decided to book her for december there is no reason why you can't pop round occasionally to make sure everything still feels right.
Going back to work is a big deal i couldn't do it with out my fab childminder

Just remember that however much your child loves your childminder (hopefully), you will always be number one.

My CM is one of the most important people in DD1's life and I am hoping that DD2 feels the same way too when she starts there in September when I go back to work.

DD1 started with her 4 or 5 days a week when she was 7 months old. She is now nearly 2.10yo and, even though I am on ML with DD2, she is there now!

I first contacted the CM when DD1 was about 4 months old - but she was 2 months early so was a tiny even when she started at 7 months.

TBH I found the whole idea of going back to work and leaving her somewhere else much worse than the reality. She went to the CM with smiles on the first day - we never did any 'settling in' as she was so young.

Knowing you have safe, friendly, reliable care for your lo is the only thing that makes it possible for you to go back to work. Spend the next few months getting to know her - perhaps you can go to playgroups or the park with her and her mindees to put your mind at rest.

Thanks a million everyone for your advice. Me and DH talked about it last night, and I also spoke to one of her referees, who gave a completely glowing reference. So we've decided to go for it! Spoke to the CM today and she was really pleased. Heard from my friend as well that she really liked us so was hoping we'd take the place.

Thanks for putting my mind at rest. Going round again tomorrow to sort contracts etc and like you say I can get to know her more over the next few months Now feel relieved that it's all sorted and I don't have to worry about it until later in the year, can just enjoy my time with DS...