If you've got two 9mth old babies how do you synchronise their naps?

[TheBreastmilksOnMe]

One is my own baby, the other is a mindee- how do I get their naps synchronised because at the moment my baby will nap quite happily when placed in his cot, the mindee will cry and cry if I put her down- waking my son up and then they are both crying, overtired and I'm all flustered dashing between the two! Help!

Can you put your baby down and then rock mindee to sleep. Or go for a walk with a double buggy to get them both off?

Can't you put your baby in the cot in his room and try putting your mindee in a travel cot in either another bedroom or downstairs or does the crying still wake up your baby? Failing that how about putting mindee in pushchair and rocking him to sleep? If you can get naps synchronised you are very lucky I have only ever managed it with one set of mindees the rest always refused to sleep at the same time!

Sorry moshie cross post

Could you try and get the mindee down to sleep first and then your son since he is quieter?

I would put your son up and then keep mindee downstairs to nap in either travel cot or buggy, which ever works best.

They both sleep in seperate rooms

If i leave one of them alone for the time it takes to get the other off to sleep then tey will cry- undoing the good work!

mindee will go off in pram

My son won't go off in pram plus I like babies to sleep in cots I don't think sleeping in a pram is good quality sleep

they are both fast asleep now after mindee scraming the place down after being put in a cot but hopefully I can get her into a routine with it. I've asked the parents to practise cot sleeping with her at home. they are both guilty of going to bed for naps with her!

you could try some white noise in the room with the sleeping baby whilst you're waiting for the mindee to settle down? maybe a fan - we use this for dd1 when we know dd2 will be unsettled overnight

i would suggest putting your child to sleep after the mindee

or if the mindess parents have got in the routine/bad habbit of laying with her then do the same and lay with her, hopefully mindee will then settle to sleep with stroking/patting/comfort of knowing you are there and then your child will be able to sleep in other room undisturbed

my charges will sleep together, normally 1-3 and when had twins then again always sleep at same time - i need some mn peace time

I suggest putting both down in one room and drinking white wine in another, with ear phones on!!!!!

if mindee will go off in a pram then why not let her sleep in a pram dopwnstairs while your DS sleeps in the cot upstairs?
I know you say you dont believe that its good enough quality sleep, but what do her parents think? Do they prefer you to insist she sleeps in a cot and 'screams the place down' rather than go in a pram?

Right thanks everyone for all your suggestions from what some of you are saying and from my own experience I will first feed them downstairs together then I will take them both upstairs to their respective cots.

I will go between the two, shushing and patting every few minutes until they are both asleep then give myself a well earned pat on the back then crack open that bottle of wine

Seriously though, the mindee was much better today and eventually went off to sleep after 3o mins of shouting which was an improvement on yesterday so I think she is adapting to being put to sleep in a cot.

Parents understand the need for her to sleep in a cot because the mum is pregnant again and expecting her next baby in october so a good routine and a well-rested older sibling is very important to her.

BHMF- To lay on the bed and sleep with her would be impractical for me as I have tonnes of things to be getting on with in my day and need the babyies to nap. It's the only chance I get to go for a wee, have a cuppa and five minutes peace, finish some paperwork, prepare lunch etc. Thanks for your suggestion though

How come you've got 2 under the age of 1? I was told that Ofsted dont allow that unless its for a reason such as twins.

I'm also allowed 2 under 1's......simply because I had them both signed up and then they both wanted one of the same days! I asked Ofsted and since it'll only be a couple of months until the eldest is 1 they allowed it

I'm allowed 2 under the age of 18mths and 3 under the age of 5yrs and because I am in wales i'm not registered with ofsted but CSSIW.

im quite surprised that they allowed that tommypickles, where is the cut off point if its 'only a couple of months', I thought that they only agreed to that for continuity of care or because of siblings, it makes me wonder if there is a good reason for this as the op is clearly struggling with 2 this age. Do CSSIW have different rules then?
I think that in reality if you really want to get them both sleeping at the same time you need to get them cracked with the going to sleep on their own happily in their cots...separately and then when they have cracked it start doing them at the same time, this is going to be very rough on the little one thats been used to being laid with but for you it might be necessary to do a bit of controlled crying (hate it myself and wouldnt do it on my own until at least 1 but as cm's we sometimes have to do what is necessary) - good luck, i think youre verycrazy brave!

If the mindes parents are expecting another baby, then they had better get their finger out and sort out their child to learn to go to sleep on her own

she wont be able to lay/pat when no 2 arrives

hope you get peace today for a mn fiddle wee
fwiw- i wouldnt want to lay&pat either - was just trying to make it easier for you iyswim

Controlled crying- Is that something that we as CM's are 'allowed' to do? Do we need to ok it with the parents first? It would kill me to think that a CM was doing it with my baby. That is my dilema really- How can I move forward with the 'sleep training' that doesn't come across as harsh as 'controlled crying'. I have my reservations about it.

Today sshe fell asleep for 20mins when out for a walk in the pram but woke up as soon as we got home so by lunchtime she was overtired and tearful.

My DS went down after lunch which left me free to cuddle her to sleep (didn't get any lunch myself because of this) but her mum came to pick her up a bit earlier and we chatted whilst she had a good nap so I felt better about her getting some sleep.

5uper5tar- I wouldn't say I'm struggling, certainly not long term anyway it's just a matter of finding a routine that works for her and my DS. I expected the begining to be tough as we are all getting used to each other. Agree with what you are saying about getting them used to sleeping by themselves before syncing their naps.

I would definately discuss it with the parents..it really is something you need to solve together. I too would have been very upset leaving my child and having this done to them without my permission. controlled crying is not for the faint hearted though and you could probably do with some moral support if you do it. When we cc'd our son he was 12 months old which we felt comfortable ish with. We did it in a very gentle way...i know usual methods say not to pick up your child but I would have found that unbearable. We would leave a minute, go in, pick up, cuddle, then 2 mins and so on. We found after the 2nd time we never got beyond 2 minutes. As her cm the little girl may accept this more as she has no other experience of you, I think its very important to choose a method and stick with it to be consistent.
BHMF - I dont think it is a bad habit to lie down with your child to help them sleep...maybe doesnt fit in with cm's but it has probably been lovely for them and worked up until now, Id say it can be extremely beneficial actually..if they had been breastfeeding it could have been the most comfortable position and then the baby just got used to it - they grow out of it soon enough anyway, as for the fiddle thing, im a bit what do you mean?!
Hope that all settles down soon, I have an 18month old(mine) and an 8 month old(mindee) and mine go to sleep a dream but I still get flustered and never have time for a wee...maybe thats why I assumed the 'struggling'...cos I imagine I would be!