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Original poster

CM Club: Final ad for nursery education....maybe?

8 replies

KatyMac · 02/04/2009 21:16

Anyone any input on this.....suggestion welcome - I am wavering

"New To WC

Free Nursery Education

From the term after their 3rd birthday children are eligible for 12.5 hours FREE* Nursery Education.
*Please ring to confirm eligibility ? Government regulations apply ? term-time only

WC now has new nursery education
two places are available from April 2009.

? OUTSTANDING ? OFSTED Inspection Mar 09
? Home Based setting
? 9 children Maximum
? High staff ratio (1 adult to 3 children)

Wrap around childcare, Childminding, Ad-Hoc care and Holiday Club also available
(priced separately)"

It all look quite wordy

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
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underpaidandoverworked · 02/04/2009 21:49

sounds fine to me. could also turn 1st statement into a question - 'did you know that....'. then follow up with something like 'nursery education in a home-based setting ...it doesn't get better than this '. sorry upper case keys on laptop broken .

had to do loads of advertising stuff when was estate agent - am full of crap . made more money then too .

Original poster
KatyMac · 02/04/2009 22:09

New To WC

Free Nursery Education

Did you know from the term after their 3rd birthday children are eligible for 12.5 hours FREE* Nursery Education.
*Please ring to confirm eligibility ? Government regulations apply ? term-time only

Nursery Education in a small setting

WC now has new nursery education
two places are available from April 2009.

? OUTSTANDING ? OFSTED Inspection Mar 09
? Home Based setting
? 9 children Maximum
? High staff ratio (1 adult to 3 children)

Wrap around childcare, Childminding, Ad-Hoc care and Holiday Club also available
(priced separately)

Maybe the first bit
Can't write the next bit

OP posts:
underpaidandoverworked · 02/04/2009 22:25

. go for it girl

underpaidandoverworked · 02/04/2009 22:27

dp just suggested 'nursery education in a home-from-home setting..', bless him, he does think and take an interest sometimes....

underpaidandoverworked · 02/04/2009 22:32

now he changed his 'brainstorm' to 'looking for nursery education in a home-from-home setting [question mark]' he thinks he works in advertising now............

Original poster
KatyMac · 03/04/2009 07:51

Well I obviously need someone in advertising....don't I?

OP posts:
underpaidandoverworked · 03/04/2009 08:52

Seriously, I think your ad is brill - I would make enquiries

Original poster
KatyMac · 03/04/2009 10:39

Thanks

I just think it as too many words

Ads should be about catching attention, not an essay

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