Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

My CM has disappeared - what do I do?

13 replies

ChasingButterflies · 05/11/2008 20:49

DS (12mo) was due to be starting with his CM a couple of weeks ago; I went back to work at the beginning of last week. He did a couple of short settling-in sessions before the CM's partner rang to say she had hurt her back and wouldn't be able to do the others we had scheduled.

I rang her a couple of days later to see how she was - and that's the last we've heard from her - it'll be a fortnight tomorrow. DP has spoken to her partner once, or maybe twice, since then, but both times at his instigation. We have rung and left messages every day so far this week and had no response at all. We don't know when (whether?) she'll be better and ready for ds to start; we're not sure now, given her complete failure to communicate anything to us, that we really want ds to go there.

So, two questions: any thoughts about what's going on here? And what do we do? We live in an area with high demand for childcare - we've rung a couple of nurseries and another CM, none of which have vacancies and won't for months. I'm now back at work 4 days a week. DP took last week off to look after ds; my mum is doing this week and prob next, but she lives overseas so that can't continue. PILs live too far away and are a bit too old to do more than a day or maybe 2 a week (and not for the long term).

Am at a loss about what to do.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
JustKeepSwimming · 05/11/2008 20:53

You know where she lives right?
Why not go round there, or DH, and see what happens?
You can't leave it and be in limbo for much longer by the sounds of it.
Start looking around for someone else until you hopefully sort this out.
good luck!

usernamechanged345 · 05/11/2008 21:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ChasingButterflies · 05/11/2008 21:05

Thanks both. It really is becoming so stressful; I actually think I would be less stressed if she just told us she didn't want to do it because I'm spending a lot of mental energy trying to figure it out!

JKS, I think DP will go round tomorrow. I think he'll be calmer than me...

It does feel very unprofessional and although we both (and ds for that matter) really liked her before, I don't feel I trust her now

OP posts:
LynetteScavo · 05/11/2008 21:09

Blimey- this CM is really giving CM's a bad name.

I'm not sure what to sugest really; if all CM's and nurseries are full, then maybe a tempory daily nanny?

SillyMillysMummy · 05/11/2008 21:31

just a thought, why not give your local childcare link a call and see if they have any new childminders that they have yet to add onto their list? They are only added every couple of weeks, its likely a new childminder would have vacancies

ChasingButterflies · 05/11/2008 21:36

Thank you all, I am searching on the childcare link website now.

This might sound odd, but it's actually helping that you all think she's acting badly - it's crystallised for me that we are not being unreasonable in wanting her to tell us what's going on

OP posts:
MissyMay · 05/11/2008 21:49

Bit of an obvious one but have you asked on here if anyone local has any vacancies?

Helen x

nannynick · 05/11/2008 23:24

Childcarelink won't list all childminders, so in addition to looking there, e-mail/call your local Childrens Information Service - there details are usually listed near top of childcarelink search results page. The CIS list may also be newer, as it takes time for entries to appear on ChildcareLink.

elkiedee · 06/11/2008 00:15

Another reason for getting the full list from the CIS as nannynick suggests is that there may be CMs who don't want their details listed online but are happy for them to be supplied to parents. Also, online you get clues where people are (eg are the schools they pick up from near you?_ but the printed list showed two CMs within 5 mins walk of home.

LucyTownsend · 06/11/2008 09:02

Where abouts are you? Im sure there is a thread on here with CM's with no mindees, might be worth revealing your town so we can see if there is one on here which might be able to help?

leonifay · 06/11/2008 09:11

yes there is, here's the link

ChasingButterflies · 06/11/2008 10:32

We're in London N16 (Stoke Newington) if there are any offers!

Have posted on the other thread too, thanks for the link

OP posts:
ChasingButterflies · 06/11/2008 10:33

Oh, and thanks for the tip re CIS - I will ring them

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page