Summer AP doesn't listen to instructions! Driving me mad!

[chicaguapa]

Ok, so she's only here for another 4 weeks but last night we went out after having put the kids to bed and left specific instructions for what to do if they got up etc. This morning found out (from DD) that although we told AP they weren't allowed to sleep in our bed, they BOTH slept in there and she moved them out before we got home. We also said that they are not allowed another cup of milk (DS wets the bed otherwise) and found out that they had chocolate milk (which is controlled during the day as it is). But the upshot of it all is that as a result of disregarding our instructions they both went to sleep at 10pm (they go to bed at 7) and are both really tired and irritable today. Am really annoyed. What do you do eh?

Talk to her - explain WHY you have those rules and that even if she doesn't agree with them, whilst caring for your children she must follow them else she is of no help to you and will be asked to leave. Following the parent's instructions regarding care of the children is the absolute basic bit that AP's must get right.

I agree with Weegle. It is very annoying when aps don't follow simple instructions, I know.

also agree. how annoying.

Is this the first time she's been left alone with them @ night?

Trying to be fair and thinking that if it was perhaps she was just trying to get through the night, and by giving in to things which she shouldn't have (the milk, letting the children fall asleep in your bed) she was achieving her ultimate goal, ie getting the kids to sleep.

Although I would be very miffed that she had declined to tell your herself how the evening panned out. If she'd approached you and said, listen I'm really sorry but I just couldn't get the kids to settle and so I let them fall asleep in your bed and then moved them, I know it wasn't in your instructions but I'd done it so they wouldn't be tired / irritable / upset today then I would totally have recognised where she was coming from..

Blah blah blah, that's what I sound like today! Hope you realise what I'm trying to say though!

I think she just doesn't have a clue tbh. When we left she asked if they could watch a DVD if they got up after we left?

Hmm. Maybe these are just things which were acceptable in her house when she was babysat.

Obviously not much use to you tho!

Will you persevere or end the arrangement sooner?

We'll persevere for the time being but will control a lot more. eg hide the chocolate milk during the day and be more specific about what they are to eat rather than allow her the freedom she had last week. She can't seem to tell them off, obviously sees herself as a fun older sister rather than the one in charge! Last year's AP was great and showed so much (correct) initiative. Guess you can't win them all! The bottom line is that the kids are safe and she's so overprotective that there's no chance of them being in any danger! And they have fun even though I think we'll have to rectify some bad examples after she's gone!

I have to say it sounds to me like they were up until 10pm because they knew they could try it on with her and maybe she got desperate after a while. It osunds like her authority with them is the problem, not just following the instructions.

Yeah I agree. Does she get a chance to shadow you with the children?

Just thinking that maybe it would reinforce how you'd like her to be and show that it is definately OK for her to show a bit of authority, that in fact you expect it.

Perhaps if shes straight into her room at the end of shift or whatever shes missing out on this?

Full of assumptions there but I'm racking my brains for you!