How do you get other people's babies to sleep?

[Caz10]

Hi!

I'm wondering if anyone can advise me on this...

going back to work in a couple of weeks - dd will be with dh initially for almost 3 weeks, then childcare split between him and the 2 grannies.

apart from all the usual issues surrounding going back to work (DON'T WANT TO!! ) my main worry is dd's naps.

she is 7mths and we are just starting to improve daytime naps and nighttime sleep, however it's always been me who has been doing this. I've broken the feed-to-sleep association and have been working really hard on getting her to go down in her cot.

i'm not sure what to advise mum and MIL to do when she gets tired - when it's me I rock her for a little while then put her down sleepy, pat head etc etc. She has a VERY convoluted routine of thrashing about etc which I know off by heart now but would really struggle to explain to someone else, I'm sure it would look to someone else like she was really wide awake, whereas I know it is like a last fight against sleep when she is shouting her head off and jumping about!

i really want her to sleep well during the day but I don't know what the best thing is to ask mum and MIL to do. She will normally flake out in her pram if you take her out just before nap time, but I couldn't ask either of them to take her for 2/3 walks per day!

I know that CM's/nannies etc must get their charges to sleep without the daft routines their mummies have developed - can anyone help me out with HOW?!! Thanks

Actually, when I was a CM, I did use the 'daft routines' that parents used! I don't see there's any reason why you can't ask either mother to sit a rock your dd, if that's how she drops off! Afterall, nannies love a squeeze at every opportunty!

I always ask parents for their daft ideal routine they have to get their child to sleep, and I try to adhere to what they already do as much as possible.

However, I think that just about every baby I've ever minded ends up having a different sleep routine with me - not planned, they've just evolved that way.

I've had babies that have to be rocked in a certain way, for example, but they won't necessarily accept me doing it the way mummy does it!

So, I would tell everyone the way you currently get your baby to sleep, and that this is what you would like to continue - but be aware that your daughter may choose not to co-operate!

caz - i think you described your routine perfectly there - just tell them that.
they will soon learn her sleep/fighting sleep habits!! i'm with Maureen on this i stuck to parents routines as best i could.

Could they each spend some time with you to see what the "last fling" looks like.

I think you've explained it well on here though!

Would it be possible to get grannies and DH together for a slumber party? They cans ee exactly what happens then and this final "I will not sleep" fight for themselves. Probably better to do it one persona at a time though or DD might be too excited by all the faces and not settle?

Good luck!

Oh thank you, you are all wonderful!

Dh has already been invited in to watch a few times, lol, so I don't have too many worries with him, and he will plod with the pram for hours in the rain if necessary.

My mum is open to any advice, so yes I think I probably should get her over to show her dd's mad routine, good idea, thank you.

MIL...a different story and probably my biggest worry - she will not take any advice, even from DH. I was in tears after last time we visited - after a while DD was getting tired and grumbling a little, so dh said to his mum "she's just getting tired" and took her back for a wee cuddle. She gets very "wired" and can't seem to just conk out to sleep, needs a bit of winding down. MIL then proceeded to wave toys in her face, offer crisps (wtf?!) and wound her up to purple faced wailing which we hardly ever see from her. DH repeatedly saying mum, she's just tired, she needs a rest etc just resulted in his mum shouting at him "don't tell me what to do". .

OK sorry that evolved into a MIL rant..! Being harsh I guess she might listen after she's had an over-tired wailing dd on her hands all day? But it breaks my heart to think of her crying like that...

i feel your MIL pain

I do what happens at home or as close to it as is practicable.

vInTaGeVioLeT - - why are they like this?!!

I think a lot of my worry is the PFBy belief that my PFB will only sleep for me! Or rather, disbelief that she would sleep for someone else! I'd feel much happier if she was going to a CM or nursery but with 2 grannies within walking distance that would have been a very big snub to them both. And obviously we are lucky to have that, I am not complaining...much...!

So - do babies take a few days before they slot into nap routines etc normally?

I started nannying when youngest charge was 6 1/2 months, baby was used to being with mum all the time and being breastfed which made me think it was going to take a while for her to get used to me. However, I didnt have any problems with her going to sleep i would usually sing a song 'twinkle twinkle little star or something similar and rock a little bit if we were at home, we got into a really good routine where she would have about 1 hour in the morning and then another 1 1/2 or so in the afternoon. I know some people like to put babies down in their cot while there still awake to get them used to falling asleep on their own, i never put her in her cot awake she would always fall asleep while i was holding her if we were at home it didnt cause any problems, if we were out and about she fell asleep fine in the pushchair. If it isnt working, what about walking baby round the house or garden in the pushchair?