Seriously, how do other mums do it?

[Cla7]

My son goes to nursery Monday, Weds, Thurs, Fridays. More often than not, nursery calls me around noon on Wednesday to say that he either had a temperature, loose poo or vomited and I have to collect him. We have a 48 hours exclusion policy for sickness so he’s out for the rest of the week. Usually he’s absolutely fine when I collect him and I can’t find any symptoms they said he had. Then some Monday bank holidays and times where he’s actually sick and I keep him home, and he’s basically never really there. I pay 1k per month after funded hours for working parents but I can’t afford it anymore because I’m hardly working. I drastically reduced my hours last winter but was just about to up them again. Do I just give up? I thought about finding a nanny instead but he doesn’t settle with a nanny and when he is at nursery, he’s really happy there, he loves other children. Other nurseries around here have 1 year+ waiting lists and the same sickness policies.

Sorry OP but with both mine - it happened only once with one of them and it was a temperature

He sounds very sickly if he’s basically not there

Sounds like they’re having you on! If it’s most Wednesday’s and he’s fine when you pick them up I’d guess it’s a staffing issue and they’re making things up. Find another nursery? We haven’t had this problem and I’m sure my youngest nursery says three episodes of loose stools before they call.

Always noon on a Wednesday? Is it a staffing issue? Or have you checked the menu to see if there’s something odd on Wednesdays menu that doesn’t agree with him?

If it’s every or most Wednesdays at noon I’d question if there’s actually anything wrong with him.

I’d find another nursery. In the meantime, if they say he has a fever but he doesn’t have one when you pick him up, then I’d challenge them about how accurate their thermometer was and their technique for taking temperate. The loose poo occurring every Wednesday is almost certainly whatever the nursery meal is on Wednesday. I had that once with DS1 - they had a fortnightly menu and several fortnights in a row they called on on a particular day of the week about loose poo, before we figured out the pattern and pointed out that whatever they ate that day of the menu cycle was causing it and if they cut down on the thing (eg sultanas, beans, can’t remember) and fed him a bit more bread or crackers it would stop.

How many times have you actually been contacted at noon on a Wednesday @Cla7 ?

That used to happen to me too. I was quite lucky that my Mum lived close to my work/ the nursery.

Unless they were really ill I'd collect them, drop them with my Mum and then head back to work.

It paid off eventually. They caught every bug going whilst they were in nursery but had a great immune system by the time it came to school. Neither of them have ever been ill enough to be off school.

Are you a single parent?

How old is he? The first winter at nursery is brutal, but I don't remember it being that frequent. I wonder if they are a ratio problem on Weds and are looking for excuses if he's fine when you collect him?

I think they're over on numbers and need a child to go home and yours is the obvious choice for some reason. Refuse to let them give Calpol then take a thermometer when you arrive and take his temp there and then before you leave the room. If he's vomited ask for evidence, soled clothing etc. I would want solid evidence that he's actually sick and not just being used as the case goat and I definitely seen this happen.

I think so too. Loose stools isn't necessarily sickness either. There's a difference between loose stools and diarrhoea.

how old is he? for the first year of nursrry all my son's poos were loose (still BF)

Not normal for nursery to be sending him home that much

I think Wednesday is the perfect day for them to send him home because it gives them the maximum amount of days without him there.
He’s 2 now, during his first winter he was ill often but it was genuine and I could see that he’s unwell. He isn’t unwell now, he’s a very happy and energetic boy whenever he’s with me. His poos are a bit loose sometimes but his GP said as long as he’s well and not dehydrated it’s all good and normal.

Have you pointed out the pattern to them?

My child has autism and the nursery just told me one friday that they could no longer meet his needs for his 30hrs childcare. and that he could attend for 2x hours x3 times per week from the subsequent monday. They suggested an option that i could self fund a 1:1 equating to a full time salary

This

or let them know you are working away for a few weeks /in a different office so not local

and don’t pick up for 2hrs. Esp if you think he’s not poorly

very strange it’s always a wed

def a number issue

maybe look at cm if you don’t want a nanny tho he will settle with a nanny esp if one is a sociable one and goes out all the time

Find a new nursery. That’s sus.

If you think the nursery is being sketchy about this, I can’t see how I’d feel comfortable dropping off my toddler to them for them to have sole care of him.

Try another nursery and in the meantime be less avaliable for pick up.
Email the nursery manager with your concerns "I picked up X on the following dates and there was nothing seemingly wrong with him for the next 2 days. Please can you investigate".

Staffing issue. They started that game with me. After too many calls a friend who works as a GP saw the child in half an hour. I returned them to nursery after GP visit with a "GP says they are fine". Never happend again. They went on to next family.

I have 3 children and worked full-time with 1st 2 and 4 days with 3rd. I think they each missed maybe 1, max 2 days of nursery from age one through to primary school! We vaccinated for chicken pox. Your child sounds unusually sicky or your nursery are overreacting. They can go in with colds. Our nursery phone and give calpol for temperature and would only ask to pick up if child seemed really unwell.

Do you know any other parents at the nursery OP? Can you ask if they are also having children sent home a lot?

Do you have a partner? It shouldn't all fall on you