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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

I am fed of of sitting back while my MIL gets paid to be an awful childminder!

27 replies

hellogoodbye · 20/06/2008 23:50

Hello. I really have to bite my lip when anywhere near my MIL when she is minding as I know if i were to say anything, it would cause big arguements, but I feel sorry for the children and dont want to sit back anymore:

-The children are just left in the playroom all day, unsurpervised, to watch TV or entertain themselves

I have been there for more than 2 hours, talking to MIL before I even realise she had mindies there!

An 18month old little girl last week, walked out of her house and down the road, where I found her and returned her, to find nobody had noticed.

The children have never done an activity or game with her, or get any sort of attention from her as she just isnt interested.

The children are left in their cots to cry for a long time. I understnad she may need to leave them to go to sleep, but even after a sleep, they wake up and can sometimes lie there for an hour or so before she gets them, just because she is "busy" (usually chatting on the phone or to guests).

She doesnt even like childminding and just does it for the money.

What would you do? I am becoming a childminder myself but would never do it the way she does.

What would you do if this was you?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

puffling · 20/06/2008 23:53

I'd inform ofsted

micci25 · 20/06/2008 23:53

tbh id report her annonymously of course, cant believe that she would be so irreresponsible with some one elses child to let them go wandering down the street and not even notice

herbietea · 20/06/2008 23:53

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herbietea · 20/06/2008 23:53

This reply has been deleted

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Love2bake · 20/06/2008 23:56

I am horrified.

How old are the children? Do they not tell the parents that they just watch TV all day?

You need to do something about this. An 18 month old walking out the house

What does your DH say?

sushistar · 20/06/2008 23:57

You should do something - imagine how you'd feel if you found out your dcs were being treated like this.

vixma · 20/06/2008 23:58

I agree with micci25, what she is doing is not only lazy but neglectful and dangerous. Is she registered, if so contact ofsted as she should be registered with surestart (see internet. Well done for you noticing and not putting up with this....shows how clued up u are....good luck

Love2bake · 21/06/2008 00:08

You and DH need to discuss this and decide together what you are going to do. But you need to do something.

As a CM myself I am really sad to hear about this

Original poster

hellogoodbye · 21/06/2008 08:13

The thing is, she has been reported to ofsted before (a long time ago) but when they turn up, she is obviously going to act perfect while they are there and deney anything.

And I am worryed she would guess it was me as I am the only one who would have seen it all.

And the children are mostly under 5. She has 1 under 1, 1 under 2, and 2 boys that are about 2.5years. She then has some after school ones as well.

My DH does agree she is an awful childminder, but would go mad if he knew I was talking about reporting her.

What was the final straw was that she looked after my 5 month old DD for an HOUR the other day, and because she was crying (probably scared as she had been left) my MIL put her in her buggy and said she screamed for about half an hour and eventually fell asleep. I was fuming, we dont leave her to cry at home, and even if we did, my dd was in a strange place, with no mummy or daddy, I would have expected her to do everthing she could to comfort her. Or at least try (hadnt even givien her a bottle or anything which would have calmed her down. needless to say, she will never be looking after my DD again. I didnt want to leave her there in the first place, but we were desperate and I couldnt see what could go wrong in an hour!

OP posts:

eleanorsmum · 21/06/2008 08:40

if the numbers and ages of children are right as you state, then i think unless she has variation then she is over her numbers. 3 under fives is normal is it not? what do the other parents think about the care their lo recieves? could you get them to inform ofsted? keep on at ofsted and maybe they'll catch her out!

Love2bake · 21/06/2008 08:43

Is she actually registered to have 4 under fives. Childminders are only allowed to have 3 under 5's....UNLESS they have special written permission from Ofsted.

If she does not even look after her own Gran-child in a caring way.... I am really worried about how she is with minded children. Imagine what she is like when you are not there.

The reason I mentioned your DH earlier is because I think it is really important that you agree on doing something together. It would put a big strain on your marriage if you reported her behind his back. Also if you did report her, I am guessing they might work out it was you.

You definately need to do something about this. Those children deserve better childcare than this. I am so that a CM could do this.

Hassled · 21/06/2008 08:51

Maybe show your DH this thread - seeing your worries in black and white and the strength of opinions from objective outsiders might make him realise you can't just leave things as they are.
Apart from the fact the mindees can't possibly be happy, she's exposing then to physical danger. The ideal solution would be if someone could pursuade her that she's not cut out for the job, that sooner or later something will go badly wrong and she should maybe look at a different career now, before that happens.

KaySamuels · 21/06/2008 09:21

This thread has made me so .

Childminding is not something you can do jus for the money! Those poor kids. As has already been said as well as being dangerous and neglectful she may also be over her allowed ratios.

Please report her.

Don't the parents notice their dcs don't do any acivities? From what you describe the mindees wouldn't have a great relationship wit the cm! My mindees run in smiling - can't see hers doing that!

LullyOfShallot · 21/06/2008 09:24

OMG
You simply must report her
Those poor children,this simply cannot be allowed to continue.
Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

moshie · 21/06/2008 09:59

Report her, she wouldn't know it was you, the neighbours could have seen you find the little girl, or someone might see her on a school run and know she's over her numbers.

TooTicky · 21/06/2008 10:01

Please report her

JodieG1 · 21/06/2008 10:06

I would report her and sod what she thinks or what dh thinks. How could he sit back and let this neglect go on just because she is his mother? He should be ashamed if he disagrees with reporting her.

Tbh I would not be able to sit back and allow this to happen, I'd call ofsted and inform the parents and also tell mil that I'd reported her. I'd tell her why too and exactly what I thought of her. I would find it hard not to go there every day and take care of those poor children myself tbh.

coolj · 21/06/2008 10:07

You need to act now as what MIL is doing is illegal, neglectful, and totally irresponsible. Its that kind of person that would give us Childminders a bad name. As you are going to be a Childminder in the future its your responsibility to ensure that these childrens lives are not at risk. You may be the only VOICE that these children have. You must act. How would you feel if one of these children were killed or had a bad accident and nobody was in the room with them. You said you wouldnt leave your own child with her so why should any other child have to suffer.

Im sorry to come on strong but it makes me so angry to know that these children are not receiving the care and attention they deserve. If your husband isnt supportive, then tough, the childrens lives come first.

If your not prepared to report her, I think you should reconsider your future career. KIDS COME FIRST.

posieflump · 21/06/2008 11:32

You say you are fed up of sitting back in the title of this thread
So you obviously want to do something
You're only course of action is to phone Ofsted
If dh is arsey about it tell him the facts. Tbh why would you want to do what he says when he lets your MIL treat your 5 month old baby like that?

AbbeyA · 21/06/2008 11:40

I think that you have a duty to inform Ofsted.The welfare of the children has to come first.

LoveMyGirls · 21/06/2008 11:46

You would never forgive yourself if something does happen to one of those children though, I'd rather never see my mil again than let her continue to childmind. Imagine being the parent of the 18mth old - did your mil even tell her mum she'd gone wandering? I'm guessing not because if her mum knew i'm sure she would have pulled ehr from her care and contacted ofsted herself!

BetteNoire · 21/06/2008 11:52

"What was the final straw was that she looked after my 5 month old DD for an HOUR the other day, and because she was crying (probably scared as she had been left) my MIL put her in her buggy and said she screamed for about half an hour and eventually fell asleep".

Hmm... this makes no sense to me.

You post about how dreadful your MIL is at looking after children, how she basically neglects and ignore them.

Then you say that you left your 5-month old baby with this 'awful childminder'.

Why would you leave your tiny daughter with a woman whom, you allege, leaves children to cry in their cots for a long time?

Most odd.

libbysmummy · 21/06/2008 12:05

For me, there is no dilemma - report her now before a child comes to harm - the next one that walks out of the door could be run down and killed.

libbysmummy · 21/06/2008 12:07

Oh and I agree with Bettenoire. I would not be leaving my baby with this woman.......

lizzy88 · 21/06/2008 12:15

to the op

how do you know so much about her? are you there everyday, all day?

and why are you asking us? wouldn't it be more than obvious if she's that bad she should be reported.

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