Help! Can't decide if nursery or nanny best!?

[Sus19]

Can anyone help me decide if child care at home is better than a nursery environment??

I am looking for childcare for 3 days a week for my 6 month old and 19month old daughters. I can get a nanny for £70 a day and think nursery would be about the same for 2 children. What is best for the child? To be at home in their own environment, napping in their own bed or in a nursery which is structured and regulated with the stimulation of other children??

I think my girls are too young to employ an au-pair, is that right??
Thanks for any help on this - I have brain drain already!!

At this age I would say there's no real benefit to sending them to a nursery over and above a nanny - I think the socialisation side becomes relevant at about age 3.

If you can afford it, then I think you'll find a nanny easier - as you say they will be in their home environment, and own beds for naps etc. Don't underestimate the benefit of not having to get 2 children up, dressed and out to a nursery - far easier to have someone come in, and to be able to leave them mid-way through breakfast if necessary.

You would also expect a nanny to do some nursery duties - ie washing their clothes, tidying bedroom/playroom etc - all of which helps..

I agree that your kids are too young for an au pair. Very often au pairs are very young and are over here for a jolly, not because they want to look after children.

I have used a nursery in the past and now we have a nanny for my daughter. Nursery was great for a while, but things like staff turnover mad me worry. In the end my daughter did not seem that happy, which coincided with us moving house so we swapped to a nanny and she has seemed content ever since.

Important points to consider are:

If a nanny goes sick you can't go to work whereas a nursery won't look after your children if they are sick (so if you have a sickly child, a nanny will be best)

Whether there is a nursery at a convenient location to you (near your home or on your commute) which you really like and would be comfortable with.

Having a nanny gives you a bit more control. If you have a child at nursery you have to accept that they will come home missing a sock sometimes or that they will catch colds form the other children. This is balanced often by the stimulation and range of activities on offer.

A nanny might be a bit more flexible on hours if you need him/her to be.

At the end of the day I think children can thrive in both environments. It's really about making sure you are comfortable with whatever you choose; chances are the children will like it then too.

I personally think a nanny would be better - epecially for the little one. They have YEARS of structures ahead of them!

Oh, but I don't agree on the socialisation point. My daughter went to nursery from 5 months old and really loved being with the other children - especially the slightly older kids. She's never been clingy or shy. That might just be the way she is but I put a lot of it down to the nursery.

This is the first time I have used Mums net and am so chuffed I've got some replies!! Thank you so much - you have really helped me to clarify my thoughts. I was thinking the same really but wanted to know what others might think. Looks like the hunt is on for a nanny then!

I think the Nanny would be better - based on the children's age.

If you could find someone who takes them to toddler groups etc, they would have the best of both worlds, ie, a home environment and mixing with other children.

My 14 month old has been going to nursery since he was 6 months and I am thinking of swapping to a nanny when I have my next baby (5 weeks preg today!) The turnover of staff has been high and has unsettled him at times. Also, he has had umpteen colds and coughs since started. On the positive, he has had some really fun days and done lots of different activities. However, if you get a good nanny then they should (if you request) take the children to music and dance, other activities, parks etc where they can interact and do activities with other children anyway. I don;t think there is a definitive answer but hope that helps a bit!

Get a nanny if you can afford it. Means you haven't got to get DC ready and take them somewhere, which can't be underestimated when you're having a chaotic morning.She'll tailor the day exactly to suit them, around their sleeping and eating and do nursery duties as well.

It's great having all DS's washing, ironing, sheets changed, hoovering, dusting etc done for me so when I am with DS I am spending time with him, not doing chores.

Point to remember - you mentioned in your OP that you could get a nanny for £70 a day. Don't forget, that is before tax and ni and employers ni. Likely cost is nearer £90 a day for you - £70 for nanny.

I have worked as a Nanny and in a private day nursery and would definatly say a Nanny is better. ALOT of private day nurseries are so much about the money/profit. I will never send my DD to a nursery as I have seen the inside to it. Not all nurseries are like this I must admit but you never know really.

A nanny would do what YOU want your kids to be doing, they could use their own stuff, as said she could help round the house too. Especially if there are times when they are asleep.

Remember that nannies aren't formally regulated in the same way as CMs or nurseries, and don't need specific qualifications, so it's probably best to be thorough about checking references etc.

Sus, according to child-psychologist Oliver James babies under 3 are better off in the care of a mother-like figure, i.e. nanny or childminder, rather than nursery.

The tricky bit is finding the best nanny/cm, the one that reflects your parenting style imo.

I vote for the nanny option too! My children have benefitted from home-based care from a 3rd 'parent', with different skills to their parents and heaps of patience for craft and small-child-centred activities. The 3 nannies we've had in 11y have stayed family friends and we still see each of them which is great for everyone.

deffo nanny

nurseries are ok for short periods of time

Nannies are becoming more regulated as the years go. We now fall under the Ofsted Childcare Register. At present registration is voluntary, but I expect by the end of the Governments 10 year childcare strategy it will be compulsory. They would only need to get legislation through Parliament.

The decision is the easy part, now you have to search for the best nanny in the whole wide world (which is where you will set the bar initially). That's when it gets tough!

I agree that the nanny is the best route, though I think you should prepare yourself for the fact that although more flexible than a nursery, it is not a stress-free route; I think most employers would agree that finding the perfect nanny first time round just doesn't happen, so you may go through one or two until you work out exactly what makes the best fit for your family. Starting out accepting that this may be the case will put you in a better position than most first-time employers. Nannies are generally fabulous people but that doesn't mean that every nanny fits every family. Be flexible, be professional and be fair. Pay the market rates, pay on time, and always come home early when you can. And insist on the same levels of professionalism/respect from your nannies. My biggest advice would be to NOT treat them as 'part of the family' from the off but to err on the more reserved side - that way you encourage the concept of a more professional employer/employee basis (which will be of benefit in the unlikely event you link up with someone likely otherwise to take advatage of you). Of course once you find nannybliss that reserve drops away fairly quickly .

Good luck.

glad you decided on a nanny

i did see your other post - you CAN NOT pay a nanny cash in hand.

If the tax office found out, you would be liable for a fine of up to £3000!!

A registered nanny would def help cut costs BUT very unusual for a nanny to pay the reg fee herself - it doesnt benifit the nanny AT ALL, so many will not pay the £100 cost of it.

I think a nanny will be significantly more expensive when you take into account things that are already covered by nursery fees: nappies, food for nanny/DCs, outings, tax&NI, cost of Ofsted registration if you want to use vouchers, cost of payroll agency if you use one, daytime heating for the house(!) etc

I agree with Squiffy, I tried both but the stress of something going wrong with a nanny is a million times worse than the stress of something going wrong with a nursery, because the relationship is more personal. And things do go wrong, just read all the threads here...

Good luck in whatever you decide to do.

iamananny, I don't think it's correct to say it doesn't benefit them AT ALL, because being registered makes them much more attractive to a future employer.

i am not registered, and I have NEVER found it hard to find a job.

Though I do see what you are saying, but after paying £100 to be registered, first aid £50 and insurance £60 - if the nanny pays for all of this, they are over £200 out of pocket, and for what?

Unless a very nice employer wants to give some of the savings to the nanny, the nanny gets nothing from being registeted!!

This is going well off the topic, but...

i am not registered, and I have NEVER found it hard to find a job.

I was talking generally about how it might benefit some nannies. Vouchers are the only non-means-tested childcare tax credit so is very attractive for all eligible employers. I would gladly pay ~£2200/year more (which is the current max savings) to a candidate who is already registered and pay renewal fees. I know of others who split the saving between them and thier nannies.

Though I do see what you are saying, but after paying £100 to be registered, first aid £50 and insurance £60 - if the nanny pays for all of this, they are over £200 out of pocket, and for what?

Professional liability insurance so that nanny is not made personally bankrupt if successfully sued for professional negligence; and first aid so that they can administer it if necessary.

Actually as an employer I've paid everything. I just think that it can also be an excellent selling point and salary negotiation chip if you are a nanny (who is maybe not as experience/qualified as you) looking for a job. But I'm happy to disagree.

Sorry OP for extending the thread on an irrelevant discussion!!

always up for a healthy debate

i do have up to date first aid - though always my mb at the time pays for my course to be renewed - yes ALL nannies should be up to date with 1st aid, as it does benifit them, but SOME nannies I know, feel that,as it is benifical to mum as well as nanny , that the family should pay _ also think that parents should go on a basic first aid course as well - just for their own peace of mind

I asked my mb if she would pay, and she said yes, if she said no,I would have been happy to pay for it

my motto, is if you dont ask, you dont get

Regards to nanny insuarne, again I have insurance with mortonmichel ( as most nannies do) and I obviously pay for this