I didn't wake up to son screaming

[mkwar]

Hi all,

I am a first time mum and I have a 4 week old, I fell asleep tonight around 11pm and my mum who is staying the night come into the bedroom to say DS was crying/screaming he is in a next to me crib I have NO idea how I didn't hear him, I'm now feeling awful and terrified I have slept through before my partner is away for work for 2 nights so I'm terrified I won't hear him again, has anyone else done this before? Everyone makes it sound like you'll wake up to every noise I feel like an awful mum right now x

Are you taking any medication which makes you drowsy or have you always just been a heavy sleeper? The answer to that may change people's advice. You're not an awful mum because you clearly care so go easy on yourself.

Oh bless you

You're shattered with a newborn

And your Mum is there! If she weren't, you'd have woken up quickly

Really, don't beat yourself up about it, you're doing great

I’ve done this loads of times. It’s exhaustion that’s getting the better of you. I always wake up but sometimes it takes a while for the crying to filter through the deep sleep I’m in. You would have woken if your mum hadn’t come to get you. Also please remember that in the dead of night, crying for a minute or so can feel a lot longer than it actually is.

You need to get a proper chunk of sleep either by getting your mum or DP to take the baby after being fed (if breastfeeding) or to give them a bottle so you can have a break. Please don’t beat yourself up. Baby was safe in their cot next to you and will not have been harmed in any way crying for a couple of minutes.

Your mum was there so instinctively your body knew you could have a proper sleep op.

Ds slept at my DM's once a week from as a little one. It was completely different sleep for me when I wasn't listening out for him.

You're shattered. You have a newborn. Don't worry & do let your dm help you whilst she's with you xx

Thank you everyone! I have never been a deep sleeper and I'm not on and medication, I think I am just exhausted! My mum said it wasn't very long just seemed longer than normal, hence why she come to check on us. I do feel awful still however thank you all it has helped ease my mind x

Go easy on yourself

You're doing just fine and so is he

I did this when my son was a baby! I was that shattered that I could have slept through a nuclear bomb exploding lol

@mkwar
How're you doing now, you ok?

When I had my second I put her in her moses basket and sat down with my 3 year old to watch something with him. Next I knew my sister was ringing saying she was worried as had been knocking on my door and couldn't get me to answer...I'd been asleep over an hour.

I done it again once! But I have been better this week as I got a bit more sleep! But it really doesn't stop the guilt lol, however it's made me feel so much better that other people have done the same x

I did this too OP. We took baby to visit PIL and in the morning, my lovely MIL expressed concern that she had heard baby crying in the night. DH and I completely slept through it. Baby has just turned 10 (years) and has suffered no ill effects from it.

@mkwar how are you getting on?

Thank you so much for checking in again! Much much better! I have been getting better sleep so I'm not so exhausted so I haven't had the problem since I think I was just massively over tired! Xx

That's great news!

Now wait till the teenager years when you can't sleep for their music and the don't get up till noon
At the earliest

🤣