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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

2 year old starting nursery and won’t nap

28 replies

Kstar321 · 09/01/2023 14:40

Hi all,

I have an almost 2 year old who has just started nursery this week. He has never been a great independent sleeper. At night he is still fed to sleep and has never napped in his cot in the day - only ever in the car (and pram until last few months).

As I expected, he’s not napping at nursery. The staff are trying but he fights it and then gets grumpy which means I have to leave work a bit early to collect him.

Has anyone else gone through anything similar with their child at nursery and have any success stories?!

TIA

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

RandomMess · 09/01/2023 14:42

Stop feeding to sleep at night time.

He may get the hang of sleeping at nursery just by copying the others and having quiet time on the mat.

ShirleyPhallus · 09/01/2023 14:42

Why do you have ti leave work early to collect him? Is that only this week while fe settles in?

Tbh I think it’s not really your problem if thry can’t get him to nap. Nurseries are ususally magical places fir napping but if he doesn’t, an earlier bedtime should be fine

ShirleyPhallus · 09/01/2023 14:43

Sorry for the typos!

Wnikat · 09/01/2023 14:45

Give it a few days, he’s still settling in, he’ll hopefully learn to sleep there eventually, the nursery staff must be used to this problem. And usual not to do full days for the first week.

SpamIAm · 09/01/2023 14:46

Only started this week? Give it time, they'll sleep eventually. My youngest was still fed to sleep when he started nursery, and was for the first year he was there, but after a bit off settling in time he slept fine there. Also still gets rocked to sleep at home now he's 3 but puts himself down for a nap in nursery

QuiltedHippo · 09/01/2023 14:47

I don't have a great independent sleeper (20 months) sometimes she naps and sometimes not - the excitement of nursery carries her through so it's not an issue. I'd not be too impressed at being called to collect a grumpy child. Can't they let him read some books and give him a cuddle instead.
It's early days too, he may well start following the heard without you need to do anything different at home.

Our nursery has a pram they'll put some kids in to get them to sleep and will push that around a bit then rock it, though that's more the baby room so may not be an option for toddlers

Reugny · 09/01/2023 14:48

My DD stopped napping at 2.

She found playing with one of the other kids at her CM too exciting and as they didn't nap she stopped.

She did however sleep well at night.

PinkSyCo · 09/01/2023 14:52

Of course he’s not going to nap if you’ve got the him used to feeding to sleep. You need to stop that if you want him to learn to fall asleep independently.

SmileWithADimple · 09/01/2023 14:53

I don't think the nursery should call you to pick him up just because he's grumpy! Only if he's ill.

Original poster

Kstar321 · 09/01/2023 14:57

Thank you for the (mostly) helpful responses. I have been trying for almost 9 months to stop him feeding to sleep. I’m aware that this isn’t helping.

Very much appreciate its very early days, so hoping the nursery staff will work their magic. Just being over anxious I guess.

OP posts:

JenniferBarkley · 09/01/2023 15:01

Given he's two, might it be better to just ask them to give him quiet time rather than trying and failing to force the nap?

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 09/01/2023 15:04

Why do you have to leave work early to collect him if he's 'grumpy'?

I'd quite like to leave work early when I'm grumpy.

RandomMess · 09/01/2023 15:05

9 months 🙀 eek he's persistent! That's a hard one until you want to wean him off altogether.

Some DC do give up their naps around 2nd birthday, or he may get used to nursery and go along with the flow after a few weeks.

amylou8 · 09/01/2023 15:14

I never napped as a young child and still can't nap as an adult. No idea why as my siblings did.

Mariposista · 09/01/2023 15:21

Feeding/rocking to sleep? No wonder he won’t go down on his own. Stop pandering to him!

Krakenes · 09/01/2023 15:23

Mine stopped napping around 18m. Will occasionally nap in the buggy or car, but more often not. They get 12-14 sleep every night so I don’t think they’re overtired. I wouldn’t worry about the nap, but would complain about them phoning you for him being grumpy. Toddlers are grumpy sometimes!

SpamIAm · 09/01/2023 17:06

I'm sure you already are, but please do ignore all the posters saying he's obviously not going to sleep in nursery if you feed him to sleep at home. And you're not pandering to him, you're meeting his needs

FWIW, when we stopped feeding to sleep, DH started doing bedtimes and I hid away for a week or so until he got used to it. I don't know if you have someone else around who can take over for you but that's how we managed it when I was ready to stop.

Original poster

Kstar321 · 09/01/2023 17:22

Again, thanks for the responses. Lots of food for thought!

and thanks spamiam for the sensitive and kind hearted response! I am ignoring the unhelpful posts!

OP posts:

SunshineClouds1 · 10/01/2023 21:35

Op my child never napped the first few weeks at nursery either, once he was settled he'd happily have hour and half there.

I would ask nursery that if he won't go down for a sleep then tell them to stop trying and upsetting him/making him grumpy. Which will result in you not being called in from work.
Quiet time/room if he needs some chill.

FlounderingFruitcake · 10/01/2023 21:40

My youngest dropped his nap before 2. I don’t think it’s particularly unusual. He sleeps really well but just doesn’t need more than the 11-12 hours he has overnight.

I wouldn’t leave work early because DC is grumpy having refused a nap either. Why are you doing that?

Blondeshavemorefun · 12/01/2023 17:10

Do you want to stop feeding to sleep

if so the as 2yr tell him that milk is no more. Don’t allow him to pull top up

let dad if about to settle him at night if you can’t say no

if he is used to being fts then he will find it hard to settle alone

so you need to work on this at home

equally nursery have to solve this

they can’t keep calling you

Goldd · 12/01/2023 17:18

RandomMess · 09/01/2023 14:42

Stop feeding to sleep at night time.

He may get the hang of sleeping at nursery just by copying the others and having quiet time on the mat.

Feeding to sleep at nightime is not the issue. Mine all fed to sleep at night and napped independently fine in the day.

OP the issue here is you having to leave work early. What on earth!? Can you just tell nursery no? They should be able to cope with a grumpy child. Surely dropping a nap at nearly 2 is fine and normal for some children?

My nursery child is a bit younger than yours, and nursery get him to sleep by pushing in the designated nursery napping buggy - but I told them if he doesn’t want to nap one day then don’t worry about it, it’s not a big deal. He’d be fine. At nearly 2 it’s definitely not a big deal. And getting you to leave work is unacceptable. Aren’t you paying for nursery? I think you need to put a firm stop to the early pickups.

jannier · 12/01/2023 17:19

Kstar321 · 09/01/2023 14:57

Thank you for the (mostly) helpful responses. I have been trying for almost 9 months to stop him feeding to sleep. I’m aware that this isn’t helping.

Very much appreciate its very early days, so hoping the nursery staff will work their magic. Just being over anxious I guess.

Have you looked at gradual withdrawal?

slightlyslumamama · 12/01/2023 17:40

Nursery might just for this week as he is settling and don’t want him to have a miserable time there

Original poster

Kstar321 · 12/01/2023 19:03

Hi all,

I don’t think I did a very good job of explaining about nursery and feel I’ve done them a bit of a disservice! It was his settling in sessions when they asked me to come which I personally think is fair enough when it’s all very new. They actually have managed to get him to nap on his first two proper days, albeit on his key worker and not in a bed, but that is huge progress for him. And I guess does go to show that I’ve not made a huge rod for my own back by feeding to sleep for so long.

Thanks for all the advice. I appreciate that some of you maybe have taken a different approach to sleep with your own children, but I’ve done what I felt met the needs of my own son. Every child/family’s circumstances are different and I think we could all do well to bear that in mind when offering advice to others.

OP posts:

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