Need some URGENT URGENT advice

[mishmash]

Our AP keeps a DIARY - in another language of course but I heard tell the DK's that she records everything in it

They came to me this evening and said "if we have a disagreement does she write it down" and because she writes pages per day I said "yes she probably does" which got me thinking is everything I do in my house recorded

Can I now stipulate that everything written about us is to be deleted.

I know she is recording her year away but she seems to put down every single detail which horrifies me

ADVICE

I don't have an au pair neither have I been one so perhaps I'm not qualified to answer your post ... however ... I do think it's an extreme invasion of privacy to require an employee to first of all disclose and secondly to delete anything she may have recorded in her personal diary.

What she writes in her diary, whether it includes you or not, is not any of your business IMO so my advice would be to do precisely nothing.

keep your neb out

mishmash
I think the reality is if you ask, she will write even crazier things about you and then hide the diary. And publish it later.

Is there something else bothering you though about having her around? It feels a little early in the evening for htis message - it's more of a 3.30 am sort!! [This is gentle teasing.]

harriet - lol

I have nothing to hide - my kids are normal and we have arguments and DH and I rarely argue

It is just the recording of our lives that freaks me - every morcel of every day seems to be put down on paper.

I don't know her language but it could 7-9 foolscap pages per day

She only has kids max 3 hours per day between out to school, lunch, homework and extra circular activities

So haven't a clue what she is writing

7-9 A4 pages a day

I tragically had a diary during my travels. Filled it with all sorts, nothing interesting I'm sure. I think it's the 'extracurricular' activities you want to explore.

Mishmash, I don't think you can do this. I understand the invasion of privacy. But, if you haven't said anything in your contract about not disclosing private family matters outside the family I think your stepping a bit outside normal employer rights.

And HArriet is right, it probably won't stop her anyway. She'll just think you are paranoid.

Also, I think this is perhaps more about an already growing dissatisfaction with her. If she was a lovely au pair and writing things you probably wouldn't care.

I would forget about it Mishmash,...I'm sure it's pretty harmless stuff really, unless you're keeping her locked up in the cellar and feeding her on bread and water

Don't need to worry anymore

Mishmash breathes huge sigh of relief

She is leaving on Tuesday

All for the best

congratulations.