I'm a Cowardly coward

[tomme]

I have decided to give up work and SAHM and now have to give notice to our lovely nanny, and I can't do it. The DC love her and she is really part of our family. She came to us 2.5 years ago and we told her the job would be for 5 years, so I feel like I am really letting her down.

Please help me do it, I don't know what to say and also tell me I am not the most horrible person in the world for doing it. I have been trying to work up the courage to say something all morning but have just hidden in my study. DH says he will do it but I feel it should be me as I am the one who has most dealings with her on a day to day basis.

I wouldn't worry about it. Things change and the fact that you were hoping to employ her for 5 years doesn't mean you have to at all costs. I would just explain that although you were planning on going back to work permanently, things have changed and you are going to be at home. If you have a good relationship with her and she is nice, she will understand. Honesty and openness is the best policy, imo.

I'd suggest you keep her on until she's found another job and make sure you give her a lovely reference.

You can also do something like put an ad in Simply Childcare for her, or other places, to helpthe job hunt.

As I won't be working I can't afford to keep her on indefinitely, so do you think this is fair? To give her a months notice and she leaves at the end of the month but to pay her for a further 6 weeks after her months notice is up (the longest I can reasonably afford).

What are you contractually required to do? If you can afford to pay her for longer than the notice period, I would not tell her about it anyway in case your finances change and you suddenly find you can't pay her for longer.

If I were in your position, I would see how she gets on finding a new position, help her as far as you can - put a post on here for a start - and give her the extra cash if she doesn't find a job within the notice period. Or save it for a golden handshake type thing if she does.

A months notice is all I am required to give but will definitely do more than that whether she finds a job or not as she has been fab.

I still wouldn't say that you will pay her extra. If she thinks she only has a month, she will make a real effort to find something else whereas if she knows she will have income for longer, human nature being what it is, she might prevaricate. I also think that if it is unexpected, she will appreciate it more whereas if you tell her that's what you are intending to do, it will be expected and not as appreciated, iyswim...

have you actually given your notice yet and do you have to leave at a particular date?

Find a suitable quietish time of the day (if those ever occur) and ask the nanny for a chat.
Produce a pot of tea and some tea cups, plus some nice chocolate biscuits.

Tell your nanny the situation, if you like you can explain your reasons why you have decided to leave your job and become a SAHM.

Give the notice required under the contract. Look into redundancy pay - Redundancy Pay Calculator.
Assist your nanny as best you can with her job hunt. Write a glowing reference, make yourself available for verbal references.