CM Club:i need to speak to mum

[PinkChick]

i have had a mindee for just over a year.caring for them has not been straight forward, they have no SN that i am told of, but have constantly struggled with their behaviour (crying for no reason/to get own way) they will either lash out or be very sly and do something when i turn away to one of other children, they used to hit/kick my dd and was always/is still worse at home time, so we keep it short and sweet.

now two weeks after i had week off, they took 10 steps back, crying for sweets, crying if someone looks at them the wrong way, crying if someone says something she thinks differently of...everything. they are not quite 4 but the way they speak is so negative, very snappy, gives very dirty sly looks and still have same probs with not listening/not registering what im saying..am so tired of asking them to not scratch/hit/cry for no reason that i feel like tearing my hair out!..they are starting school in few weeks so that may help, but for the time being...arghhhh!

each time i try to broach it with parents they just say "oh" and not ask for more details or help me as to why they might be doing this?, im sick of saying it must be cos theyre tired/hungry/warm, when theyre totally not any of the above

no one?

It's really hard, maybe you could write a letter with your concerns set out, in a nice tone, emphasising your care for the child and asking to meet up to discuss their opinions?

I always struggle on, then can't believe the difference when the 'hard to handle' little ones aren't there!!

Hmm, this is a tricky one, and I don't know how you have lasted a year tbh! Is the money you earn from this mindee worth the stress you get in return and your dd gets in kicks and hits? If the parents were supporting you in trying to turn this child's behaviour around I would say stick it out but they are not and you can't do it all on your own. I would rather be skint and calm I think!

PC alot of this is their age, I have a mindee the same age, have had her for 4 years, and oh did she so need to start school, (started Monday) she was just like the mindee you have described. I was tearing my hair out.

Last year I had a 4 year old, I was doing the same with her, one year on she has returned to being the lovely child that she was before that year before school.

Am hoping that the one who has just started school will as well.

incidentally remember Ds being like it before school

Are your DC under school age?

thanks everyone, Kay, dd doesnt get hit now , they do 'play hit'(which means they pretend theyre playing but wallop eachother1, but thats both of them) however they(the child)does scratch push and other stuff when they thinks no one is watching..no i wouldnt have let it go on had dd been getting hit still thats why the first time i rasied it with mum didnt go well as i was furious they didnt stop it or take it reasonably seriously.

shosh, my dd has just started reception TODAY and the mindee is 6 months younger than her and imo(and that of other paretns who have been with us when child is doing this) they very young developmentaly for their age, mannerisms and actions and very baby like, but that may be the difference between the 6 months of dd and dd's other friends?

EM, the time i emailed mum went down like a ton of bricks, so although i dont get trhrough talking, i get the wrong 'tone' when i write something down.

im hoping the school pick up on it, in fact i know they will and may even see if i can discuss behaviour with teacher in few weeks?

dd went into reception this morning and was so confident, no probs but kept saying, make sure you take xxx(mindee ) with you, dont leave them here(which i took to mean this is MY time now, where you cant spoil it) poor lamb!