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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

I really like my childminder, BUT...

30 replies

bohemianbint · 04/09/2007 21:30

I have a few worries.

DS is 13 months and has been going twice a week since I started work part time last month. She doesn't really ever take them out I don't think, they just play in the house or the garden. And the tv is on ALL DAY. She feeds DS in a push chair and tries to get him to sleep in it. And he won't, because he's never been able to sleep unless he's in a quiet room by himself. She tried this the other week but said it didn't work.

I overlooked all of this because she's absolutely lovely, she thinks the world of DS and he loves going there. I'm totally happy about leaving him with her, she feeds him home cooked meals and is very affectionate and lovely with him, and I thought that this shoudl count for more.

But the lack of sleep he gets there concerns me. He's awake from 7am-7pm with no sleep and it's too much for him. And whilst I don't think he really watches the TV I wish it wasn't on all the time.

Am I being silly? What can I do?

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Original poster

bohemianbint · 04/09/2007 21:41

bump!

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beansprout · 04/09/2007 21:42

Wow, no nap all day?! He must be beside himself by bedtime! I think you need to have a chat with her about this. Our (now ex) CM went the opposite way and 3 yos still have a nap at her house so she gets a break!

chankins · 04/09/2007 21:43

Hello, jus left a message on your other thread re. unwell Ds! I'm a c/minder, and I have to say its a shame she does not take them out, as I make a point of doing this every day, especially to toddler playgroups, because they can mix with more children and have even more access to toys, crafts, etc. Even when the weather is grim we'll be out in wellies and macks, at the park,or whatever, I firmly believe kids need exercise and fresh air daily! Tv also not good. Lots of people get in habit of leaving it on, most the time kids are not even watching it so its pointless. I always do what parents request regarding sleep, with my last 2 toddlers (I am currently on mat leave) both had to sleep in quiet room, curtains closed etc in travel cot, while other parents are happy for them to nap in buggies. As you think so highly of her it should hopefully be easy to ask to review the situation so far, tell her how much DS loves her, how happy you are with most things, but also mention your worries. They are genuine, and you know whats best for your child. I'm sure she won't mind you airing the concerns you have. They will only niggle at you anyway. If she's professional about it she won't be offended, and should be more than happy to change things and do whatever it takes to reassure you. Best of luck.

Original poster

bohemianbint · 04/09/2007 21:49

Thanks - oh it's difficult. Perhaps I should take the travel cot again and insist that she tries him in a quiet room. He is so tired and spends the rest of the week catching up.

I don't think she can drive, and she lives by a very busy road so there's not many places she can take them out to, so I thik they mainly just stay in and play. I don't know how she manages it cos DS goes mad with me if I leave him in the same room for longer than half an hour. But there are 3 other kids there and he liked to play with them, so maybe it evens out?

I dunno, it's all my own fault, I left it til the last minute and after meeting some horrors I was just so relieved to find someone nice!

Also worries me because at the mo, 2 days a week isnt' the end of the world (am trying hard not to be overly precious!), but I wouldn't be happy if I end up going to work more days in the week, it just wouldn't be do-able for him to lose 2.5 hours sleep per day every day...

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Katymac · 04/09/2007 21:53

How old are the 3 other children?

I think the travel cot might be a good idea

Shoshable · 04/09/2007 21:55

Why hasnt she got a travel cot? sorry I have started another thread about sleeping in buggies.

Original poster

bohemianbint · 04/09/2007 21:56

Other kids are between 2 and 4, I think.

She did try the travel cot but she said he didn't like the other room and put him back in the buggy (where he slept for half an hour...) She doesn't leave kids to cry, which I thought was nice too, but sometimes he grizzles for a minute before he nods off and I think if she's left him for a bit he may have slept. It's so difficult!

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Katymac · 04/09/2007 21:59

I just wondered as it's normally 3 under 5's not 4 - does she have a variation?

chankins · 04/09/2007 22:01

Definietly take your travel cot in - one of my mums brought hers for me to borrow when I didn't have one, as her child was used to sleeping in it at relatives etc. Worked a treat. I'd been trying to get him to sleep by walking with buggy but it never worked and he just gor grumpier! I was more than happy to do as she asked on this - after all you all want the same thing, which is for the child to be as happy as poss. I also don't drive, but thats no excuse. There must be toddler groups nearby she can walk to. It breaks the day up and everyone feels better for the change of scenery. I'd go mad staying in all day every day with any kids - even if you have a good amount of toys etc on offer, some kids, boys espec need to be more active. You won't be out of line if you put these things to her, honest.

Original poster

bohemianbint · 05/09/2007 08:45

I think she definitely has 4 under 4's on most days...Is that not right then? (God, youc an tell I did my thorough research, can't you! )

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fishie · 05/09/2007 09:12

are any of them her own children? that makes a difference to numbers i think.

my cm takes little children out, usually to an activity in the morning and to playground in afternoon as part of school run with older children. even if weather is foul. and they often walk.

mawbroon · 05/09/2007 09:37

Her own children should be included in the numbers fishie. Four under four wouldn't be allowed by care commission in scotland without applying for variation, not sure about ofsted.
bohemienbint - I take it she is registered? I am a cm and feel that all of the things you mention are legitimate concerns and I would not be happy leaving my ds there tbh. Saying that, I have had a mindee sleep in the buggy as an absolute last resort, however I only had him one day a week and every week I tried him in the travel cot until eventually he accepted it and slept in it no bother. Listen to the niggles that you have as they probably won't go away.

feelingfedup · 05/09/2007 09:38

4 under 4, tv on all day, never takes kids out and no naps, unless in buggy. Are you really satisfied with this?

allthatglisters · 05/09/2007 11:43

As it's only twice a week I think not going out and TV on is not such an issue as it would be if your DS did longer hours. On the plus side it's important that you like her and your DS is happy. My own DD went for a while to a very nice motherly CM and I accepted that she wasn't so great on the 'educational' side of things. Toddler groups aren't always that great anyway.

hana · 05/09/2007 11:47

I would disagree with that - tv all day for a child that age is not a good thing, nor is eating in a buggy and having no nap.
you need to tell her what you want - a rough idea of a daily schedule......I'd be finding a new childminder if she didn't take your concerns on board and do something about it

Original poster

bohemianbint · 05/09/2007 13:26

None of the children are hers - I must check if it's on to have 4...

I'm looking into getting another minder, but it's such a shame, she's so lovely and I wish I didn't have to. Am such a wuss, I really dunno how to broach it all, I don't want to offend her. I'm so annoyed with myself, I should have made myself clear from the start.

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Original poster

bohemianbint · 05/09/2007 13:28

"The Children's Act allows a childminder to look after no more than three children under five with only one of those children being under a year. If the children are older a childminder can look after a total of six children under eight, as long as no more than three are under five years old. This figure includes the carer's own child or children. The local authority has a right to set a limit to the number of minded children over the age of eight."

Ah - unless one of them has just started nursery, I think she may have mentioned something along those lines. I really hope that's the case.

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fishie · 05/09/2007 13:30

also it has been ok while your ds is v young and nice weather for the garden. it's going to be completely different in a few months. tv all day is v bad.

Original poster

bohemianbint · 05/09/2007 13:35

anyone know if where there's some good info re tv and children?

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Shoshable · 05/09/2007 13:45

but even if one has started nursery unless that child is doing more than 10 sessions a week that still count as age 4 so still take up her under 5 space.

mawbroon · 05/09/2007 13:52

There was a thread about children and tv a while ago bohemianbint. It got very heated.

My view FWIW is that NOT watching tv does them no harm, but watching tv might (not conclusive) so better to not watch. IYSWIM. I never have the tv on before ds is in bed for the night and mindees have never once watched tv at my house, we are too busy doing other stuff.

fishie · 05/09/2007 14:56

bb i think you will just have to bite the bullet and tell her she isn't doing enough with your ds and you either want her to take him out of the house more and have less telly, or accept that this isn't the placefor him.

my opinion is this really won't do he cant sit in a house for 24 hours a week. possiby in a pushchair in front of the telly.

fishie · 05/09/2007 14:57

meant to say i am not particularly anti-telly for small children, just not all bloody day!

Mumpbump · 05/09/2007 15:00

I am sure all childminders are pretty nice people - after all, imo, they have to have the patience of a saint to look after children all day. If you look for another one, which I would in your position, I am sure you will find someone you like just as much and who suits your parenting needs better...

Original poster

bohemianbint · 05/09/2007 15:21

Cheers everyone. You're right, we'll raise it with her and see if she's prepared to change what she does. (And when I say we, mean DP will! )If not, DS'll have to go elsewhere. Although, the way things are going I might be resigning soon anyway!

Thanks again.

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