In Childcare All Day!

[Jodierachel]

Good morning,
I'm very lucky to be a stay at home mum at the moment with my two and a half year old. My husband and I we're talking last night about how in January (he's three in October) we will receive 15 free hours a week childcare from the council (term time). I wanted to look at getting a job once that starts. I used to work in an SEN school and would love to go back! I understand once I work again the hours increase to 30.

When I was working it all out some days my son will be at pre school from around 8am until 6pm (on the worst day. Training days etc) that's a 10 hour day!! 🙈

I don't really have any family member who can help so he will be attending Breakfast clubs and after school clubs. Does this all sound like a lot? I'm trying to think atleast if we're both busy term time we will have the holidays off together.

It's so hard to juggle work and children.

My other thought is to get a job within those 15 hours (cleaning or admin somewhere) and when he's school age then reapply for schools and have the long days start when he's 5 and perhaps understands a bit more why mummy has to work. 🤷🏻‍♀️

What does your husband do? Could he do pick up/ drop off when you're on training days?
My ds did about 9 to 5 in nursery 3 days a week and it was fine.

I think it's personal choice to be honest. My DC had to go into nursery for those times when they were younger because frankly it was my only option to stay afloat financially at the time.

They loved it,barely turned a hair. For me my circumstances changed and I've been able to reduce my hours and dc1 is 6 and yr1 and dc2 is in last year of nursery. Weirdly they seem to appreciate me being at home now more as they are older.

Kids adjust to those hours really quickly and the socialisation aspects of nursery are hugely beneficial.

Go back to work if that is what you want. Even if you did work when he was 5, you would still rely on wrap around childcare. At least this way, he gets used to it. It's hard being a working mum but from a positive spin, my daughter has been in nursery 7.30am till 6pm, 5 days a week and she loves nursery- I have to drag her out every evening

DD goes to her childminder 50 hours a week 5 days a week, she loves it there. But she’s been with the childminder for 2.5 years so it’s another home to her. I love my DD more than anything but I need to work (for financial and mental health reasons). I would find out the deadline for starting a school nursery (if that’s what you mean) as it isn’t guaranteed your DC will have a place from January.

Mine did 3 10 hour days a week from the age of 10 months until school. They are well socialised, happy young women now
Either you trust the nursery or you don’t.

My DC does 7-4.30 3 days a week and she's a year and a half. She's only had 1 day at nursery where they've said she was unhappy, otherwise she loves it! I think it's good for her, and it's definitely good for me.

Financially we could scrape by with just DH's wage but it would mean making sacrifices. Also, going back to work really improved my mental health because I feel a greater sense of self-worth. I'm a teacher so it's not even like I get lots of breaks or to spend my day with adults either! If you want to return to work then do it, your DC will adapt.

Thank you! 😁😁

I forget how easily kids do adjust when it comes to it.

He's currently at a nursery but will be moving to a preschool in January where we've started the application process but need to wait until closer to the time they have said. (They must have lots of spaces)

My husband is in sales and often is out of the country so it's just me who can juggle drop off and pick up around work. On the odd occasion daddy will be home to do it and my son will love that 😁

At three, the research pretty well agrees that there's no proof of any harm in full time childcare and that regularly attending day nursery can have positive impacts.

Go for it.

He'll be fine! You get the 30 hrs if both parents work more than 16 hours - if you were able to pay for an extra session before Easter to work those hours, you'd get 30 from the following term. it's up to you to apply, not the setting.

Some settings do 3 long days for the 30 hours, maybe an option if you found a part time job to begin with, looking to up your hours once reception age and could add the extra wrap around sessions depending on what you do.

(thinking 3 long days gives 4 days off to get a balance to start with)

As you have acknowledged, you are lucky to be a SAHM. Many families are not in the position to have a SAHP, and their children are in full time nursery from 6-9-12 months, sometimes 5 days a week. It’s not the end of the world. My children are 7 and 10 now. You can’t tell from their peers who was in FT/PT childcare or who had a SAHP. I am a big believer in fulfilment coming from a satisfying job and financial security as well as spending time with children.

It's perfectly normal for children whose parents work - find a good nursery which is used by plenty of other working parents, and your DC will think nothing of it.

Your being AH and willingness to cover almost all weekday parenting upon returning to work enables your H to be a parent but to work as though he had no DC. That may work for your family, but has its downsides, mainly for you personally.

Important to consider your personal financial situation, including in the medium to long term, eg pension. Has your H been paying into a pension for you while you’ve been AH?

Flexible jobs are often low paid. Better to seek the best paid job you can IMO, and sort the childcare.

A CM could be a good option for some of the time: ours was lovely and made great food!

Do consider the different options, once in school a lot of people I know have one parent start early, around 7am the other drops the child at breakfast club then first parent is finished by the time school finishes. Teaching is a lot less flexible but working part time eg 3 days a week is possible and school holidays aren't an issue

It is perfectly normal for families where both parents are at work and really doesn't need an exclamation mark.
Youve even said that the 10 hour days will be unusual for you - you mentioned training days, so 5 a year, tops - plus you will get all school holidays