New nanny and maternity leave

[LightTripper]

Hi all,

I've got some slightly awkward timing coming up, as my nanny just resigned and I'm 8 weeks pregnant, so if all goes well I will be on maternity leave quite early in my time with my new nanny. I would want to keep my new nanny on during my maternity leave (probably about 6 months - and beyond, of course!). My daughter is 2 (would be nearly 3 by the time new baby arrives).

I haven't mentioned my pregnancy in the job ad, but I will need to mention it at interview (or before interview) I think, as I don't want to find somebody perfect and then they pull out because they don't want to look after a baby or (more likely?) they don't fancy sharing care with a Mum on maternity leave. I was already a bit worried about how things would work with my current nanny if I was on leave, as she clearly likes to have her own space and autonomy, and that seems totally natural to me, I'm sure I would want the same.

How do I broach this without seeming either too defensive or too blase? Basically I am happy to play it by ear and to try any reasonable suggestion about how to make it work, and to be flexible when the time comes to make things work better if it creates difficulties for both of us to be at home all the time.

This is complicated by the fact that I am only 8 weeks pregnant and my last 2 pregnancies ended in MC, so it may not even happen ... but I don't want to just hire somebody and then spring it on them so I think I need to raise it.

Would be really interested in any views/experience! I may be over thinking it, but I've already got one application that I really like so I want to avoid putting her off unnecessarily, while still making sure she is fully in the picture as to what the next year may hold.

Thanks!

LT

Could you go along the , 'we are planning on having another in the next year or two but would want to keep the nanny on during mat leave and after to care for both children' line that way you can both get a feel for what may (and hopefully) will happen in the future without actually saying you are pregnant then when nanny starts and you know things are ok you can talk more then and say ob you were in early pregnancy at interview but didn't want to say anything until you knew all was ok. I am a nanny and would be more than happy with that situation

I agree with asg

Tell her that you want another baby in the near future and that you would be on maternity leave for 6 months (ish!) that you would want the nanny to work through your maternity and would work with her to find a way that works for you, her, your three year old and the new baby. Then when you are ready to tell her, tell her you knew you were expecting at the interview but explain that previous miscarriages and you say you wanted to get to xx weeks to be sure it was viable.

In most of my positions, I have carried on as normal for the first two weeks, doing toddler classes and meeting friends, then mix it up, MB would do one or two classes a week and I would have baby, then MB would have a nap while toddler napped or had quiet time in their bedroom and I'd have baby and do some jobs, afternoons, I would take toddler out or baby for a walk while MB had one to one with toddler. The only thing I ask of MB's is that meal times are one to one, whether me and toddler and her and toddler as I find that is when the toddler plays up! But be clear who is doing what! On the last day of the week (I only work one Friday a fortnight so one week it would be Thursday and then the following Friday) ask her plans and then say next week I want to take DD to nursery this day and to this class and have her this afternoon and this afternoon. Then as the time progresses, say I'm taking them both to see xx this day, you can start later/finish earlier! Always nice to be told you can have a few hours off once you've worked out your routine and can manage both of their different needs. Most of my MB's preferred me around at the end of the day for tea bath and bed so I started later. (Most of my previous positions had a set of twins in the mix somewhere!)

Good luck and I hope that the pregnancy goes smoothly.

Thanks, that's helpful. I think that's a sensible approach. Any more experiences of organising mat leave with a nanny would be very much appreciated!

Our nanny was awesome during my mat. leave. She looked after the elder child so he was able to stick with his routine. They went to a playgroup every morning. But she also bought me tea and toast in bed when I was breastfeeding, and made extra lunch so I could join them. In the afternoon I would nap with the new baby and she played with the toddler. We would do bath time together.

When the elder one started doing some mornings at nursery she gradually took over DC2.

I second being open at interview: 'have you ever worked through a maternity leave / had a work from home boss? What worked/didn't work from your experience?

I'd advertise for someone who is happy with both shared and sole charge, so people who know they aren't happy working with mum around won't apply.

You could advertise as nanny /mothers help. The latter implies you are around and need an extra pair of hands.

i would avoid jobs that state nanny/mothers help

i think asg reply is perfect

it informs nanny you would like another child, ie her role wont finish when your child at mo goes to school, it also says that her job would be safe if you did get preg

asg's response is perfect and should allow both parties to understand what could happen. The risk is if you find someone who hedges her bets and only plans on staying for a year and assumes baby is further off than that.

We had a nanny who didn't want work with Mum at home, I convinced her to stay during my maternity leave and it didn't work out. We are still friends now and while it was stressful at the time, it worked out OK in the end as we found a lovely replacement.

Thanks all! So far we have mentioned the pregnancy to the 3 candidates that we particularly liked and wanted to meet, and all have been open to it and happy to discuss further. So fingers crossed we will find something that works!