Mothers Help...is this what I need?

[Loriie]

I'm not sure if this is what I need or if they would expect more hours.

Basically I have 4 DC (3 at school one newborn), no family, friends work and DP works long hours. Newborn currently feeding/crying etc most of the day which is fine except I can't get anything done! I have no family here and my friends all work. What I would like is someone to come maybe 4 hrs a week over 2 days and just do silly things like hold the baby whilst I shower, do a few loads of washing (I would put away), help tidy up the playroom and maybe run a Hoover around.

Are there people who do that as a job? I'd happily pay about £8 a hr (no idea if that is reasonable?)

I just need some help, feel like I'm going to have a nervous breakdown!

Yes, or you could describe it as a cleaner/household help. The lady who cleans for me would love a chance to snuggle a baby and get paid for it!

Pop a card up in the local shop or wherever people put ads up locally, and let everyone you know that you are looking for someone

I did think about putting a card up but I'm worried everyone will think I'm not coping! I just want a shower and some clean clothes

I bet the other parents at school would be queuing at your door to do that for you - fits around their dc, maybe some are missing having a little baby themselves, earn a bit of cash whilst not having any commute or childcare to pay themselves.... start asking around at school or i there somewhere near the entrance you could put a card / advert ?

Loads of people will have their mum/mil or whoever helping them out, and you don't, so theres absolutely no shame in employing that help instead.

Sounds perfect for another mum or semi retired lady, I've done similar in past when I was nannying and would jump at chance if you were near me!

This is exactly the thing my mum is looking for. Possibly a few more hours but would happily pop the washing on or do a clean too. I certainly wouldn't think anyone would assume you weren't coping.

Hope you find someone soon.

Oh I feel much better now! Would prefer someone I didn't know. I mentioned it to my friends friend and she jumped at the chance as she needed some extra cash. It just got really awkward as I knew her and I didn't want to ask her to do anything whilst she was here!

Would you find it easier to have a list of jobs you'd like to get done that day or that week, and say "this is what I'm hoping to do over the next couple of days - is there anything there you wouldn't mind doing for 20mins while dc4 is napping, and I jump in the shower?

That way you get round the thought that you are telling someone what to do, but they are actually doing something to help you. this even works to get the dc to help with jobs sometimes, giving them a choice of jobs.

Yes I had one of them - mother's help and paid £9/hour in london. I just advertised for exactly what i wanted - so a bit of cleaning/childcare/help etc on gumtree. I ended up paying for my mother help to do a MMT baby care course, but it was worth every penny and she was very grateful.

My friend in london also had a college student doing childcare, who wanted extra baby experience and actually had some child care free. She had to be in the house at the same time, but could shower and do jobs. If you have a college nearby it may be worth considering.