Childminder and nap times

[qumquat]

I am not sure if I'm being a bit PFB but I'm concerned my potential future childminder won't offer dd enough/suitable nap times. She will be 10 months when she starts. Can I ask what you think of this schedule for a 10 month old?

Arrive at 7.45
Short nap opportunity on way to toddler group 9.45-10
Main long nap 12.30 to 2.30/3
Leave 5ish (suspect she will nap in the car which may mess up bedtime)

Dd currently wakes about 6.30 for the day, sleeps for 30-45 minutes in the morning (about 9), then another nap at lunchtime about an hour, then about 30-45 minutes at about 4. She goes to bed between 7 and 8.30 depending on how naps went. I very much watch for her eye rubs each day so things vary but this I'd the pattern she seems to like. She's currently 7 months. I guess I'm worried the cms schedule is more suited to an older baby/toddler, and wondering if another setting might be more able to accommodate dds schedule.

Not sure about only having 15 mins in the morning (seems a bit short), but you could ask if she doesn't take a long nap in the afternoon, could she please be given another nap at 4. Her routine will have probably moved on in a couple of months anyway.

Talk to the CM and see how your dd changes over time. I have one child who is gradually merging her two sleeps into one and no two days are the same at the moment. CMs have low ratios, so we can watch for cues such as eye rubs.

Thank you. Your response has hit on my concern. I have spoken to the cm about this and don't feel she really took my concerns on board. Her schedule seems pretty full in the morning so nap time has to be in the buggy on the way to toddler group. I was wondering if she just knew better than me what my dd would need at 10 month plus, she also said too much sleep would mean dd wouldn't sleep at night, which is only true up to a point I think! I wonder if my major concern is actually that I don't feel listened to.

I think if you don't feel listened too, then try broach one more time, if your queries still aren't met with satisfying response then perhaps another CM/nanny may suit you better.

One of positives about CM, I think, is that we can adapt to a babies routine better than a nursery, which is much larger, and needs set routines for staffing reasons.

But, don't forget a child's routine naturally changes and evolves, so I don't think for a second your Dd would go without sleep, but their daily pattern will alter regardless of what setting they are in.

If CM does go out in morning, and DD falls asleep in buggy, could she not then be transferred to a quiet place to continue napping? X

Alternatively would you be adverse to CM trying to keep baby awake, and then sleep about 11? This may alleviate car journey nap! X

I suspect that the shorter naps might soon merge into one longer nap.

I would want a longer morning nap at ten months - 45 minutes minimum. But as others have said you will soon find your baby drops the morning nap for one afternoon nap. @ year of age.
By ten months he/she will probably have dropped the 4 pm nap.
You might find an earlier bedtime, e.g. bath 6pm in bed by 7 pm will help the transition.
If you are otherwise happy with the childminder I would compromise. Tell her your concerns and see how tired baby is.

Is the toddler group one that she can wheel a buggy in so your dd can stay asleep a but longer?

I think you're just facing one of the difficulties of CMs. I had this when DD started going at 9mo.

Babies of that age like a nap in the morning. However, if the CM has any school age children they will need to take them out to the school, and if she has any toddlers, she will probably be taking them to a toddler group. So she physically can't always be in the house or go for a long walk so your baby can have a nap.

DD just started to cope with having little power naps here and there, or waited to have a longer nap about 11/11.30 when they got back from toddler group, and then would have another nap about 3.30/4.

I am astounded that the cm expects your baby to fit in with her routine
Shouldn't it be the other way round?

I am a nanny - when I started with dc 6 months she slept 3 40 minute naps throughout the day, now at 9 months she sleeps 30 minutes in the morning, then 2 hours in the afternoon. By a year she will be down to 2 hours in the afternoon and no morning nap. I would think about how your child's routine will change a they get older and make a descision about the childminder

The childminder is caring for a number of children. In the same way as a mum looking after a toddler and a baby the routine often adapts to give a balance for both. I don't think many mums make their toddlers stay home all morning because a younger sibling is sleeping. If baby sleeps on the way to toddlergroup they may well stay asleep for a while there.
If you want a routine tailored especially for your baby you need a nanny who will just be looking after your child.

I'm a CM and I've looked after a little girl since she was 10months. Her sleep patterns with me are totally different to what she does at home. That's not through lack of trying on my part, I can assure you. She's happy though, as are her parents.

Hard to say as all babies are different, my DD is 9 months and only has either 2 naps of half an hour a day or one nap of one hour, so I would be on my knees in gratitude if a CM got her to nap to that proposed schedule! Also babies change a lot in a short space of time. All the other babies I know the same age as mine have pretty much dropped their afternoon nap now and are having approx 45 mins in the morning and an hour and a half to 2 hours at lunch time. So by 10 months the proposed nap times might be perfectly adequate for her. Always best to discuss concerns in advance though, and work together for a solution.

I think your your child will just have to adapt that's one of the problems with going with a cm they have many other children they are looking after so can't necessary follow your routine 100%. If it's something you feel very strongly about can you go down the nanny/nannyshare route. Least that way there may be less children and importantly you are the employer not the service user so can have more say in what happens day to day

I think they do have to adapt (and I say that as a parent whose baby had to adapt). A cm might have 1 baby and 3 toddlers. The toddlers can't stay home because the baby needs to sleep. I'd expect the cm to talk through what can be done, whether the baby can sleep in the pushchair at toddler group or maybe be worn in a sling etc - but they do have to fit in a bit.

In eighteen months time you'll be just as concerned if your cm says she's going to do a lot less toddler groups because she has a baby that needs to sleep.

Thanks so much everyone. I think as a lifelong insomniac I get pretty stressed out about sleep! I have another option of a v. small nursery where there is a separate bedroom so they are more able to accommodate individual routines. But it is much more expensive. Lots to ponder!

OP I am also a lifelong insomniac and my DD's sleep stresses me out too! She already sleeps much less than every other baby I know and I'm worried she's going to take after me .

I would go with the nursery.
I have never worked in a nursery where they didn't work with each baby's individual routine, especially on settling in.
They don't make babies fit in with their routine- well, the good ones don't.

By 10 months I would expect her only to have 2 naps anyway. If she falls asleep in the buggy on the way to toddler group can she not just stay asleep in it once they're there?

insancerre - I'm astounded that you're astounded Have you never met anyone who cares for 2 or 3 under fives? Whether a CM or a mum, you can't fit in with 2 or 3 different routines simultaneously.

OP in 3 months time your babies sleep needs may change. Mine dropped the 3rd nap around that age.

As a CM I'd never wake a sleeping child to participate in a toddler group. I'd let them sleep and enjoy the break So you'd probably find she gets her morning nap anyway.

I looked after a baby from 10 months last year, and he was just fine. He actually slept longer for me than he did at home for his Mum!

Oops baby's

I actually didn't find nurseries very flexible. The baby room that DD was in was fine, but when DD moved up to the toddler room it was automatically 1 nap after lunch only. When she then moved to a nursery for 2+ aged children only she wasn't offered a nap so had to drop it (though she was about 2.6 when she moved, so it worked ok).

I'd expect your DD to be able to continue to nap in the buggy at the toddler group. Do they go to a toddler group every day? I thought CMs did more varied stuff.

I wouldn't discount CM in favour of nursery. I think you will find nurseries much less flexible as I said in previous post.

I would also have thought first nap will be dropped in the next few months anyway. Of course if CM has a lot of older children she will want to get out and about but our day is very adaptable so I don't think you need to worry about your DD not bein given opportunity to sleep.

Perhaps you need to find a CM with similar aged children to ease your concerns? Or as mentioned in PP, a nanny or nanny share? Children change daily try not to panic!!

I think that may be fine for a 10 month old - how old is your DC now? Their nap times do change a lot over the first year.

I swapped from a CM, after a couple of weeks as we were having the same issue (there was a couple of other things too). The nursery fitted in with his usual nap times, but when he went into the toddler room (when he could walk) they all napped together.