DD1s CM arrangments when DC2 arrives

[SooziB85]

DD1 has been attending CM for just over a year (full-time) since I returned to work. New baby arrives in a few months and DD1 will have just turned 2.

In short we've been lucky to land ourselves a CM who is outstanding in every way - and the yin to my yang! :)

I realize I'm really very fortunate to have this 'dilemma' - but basically I have to decide how/if CM arrangement should change when I begin mat leave. The current CM f/t costs are affordable on just my partners salary + my basic mat pay, although 'common sense' tells me we need to cut down to a p/t arrangement with the CM or stop altogether.

I'd hate to cut out the CM altogether, but similarly I'm aware that sending DD1 over say, 2 days a week, may be a bit disruptive/confusing for DD1? Keeping her on f/t arrangement just seems silly as I'll be sat at home with babba during that time (and we're not that well off..)

Just looking for parent/CM experiences of similar situations - thanks!

I'd keep DD1 going to the CM at least on a part time basis if she's enjoying it and you like the childminder.

It will give you a break, which you will probably need, and time for one-to-one bonding with the baby. And it will give DD1 a break from the baby, which could help her to adjust as well.

Plus you don't want to lose her place at the CM's for when you go back to work!

It depends on how full your childminder is/wants to be. You don't want to lose your space, which you could do if she wants to be full and you cut your space down to part-time.

Maybe you could keep paying for the full time space but sometimes send the baby instead of DD1? It will be really good for DD1 to have time with you and good for the baby to get to know the cm. I don't know if that's possible, it will depend on your childminders numbers and whether she wants to be that flexible.

People often carry on sending their first child while on maternity leave, so the child gets continuity there while there are many changes at home.

I think you should discuss with CM, but I would always reccomend keeping first child with CM as normal, so as not to make a big deal out of a new arrival (if you see what I mean)

Plus, you have to think of yourself, could you have a 2yr old and newborn at the same time? Perhaps you could reduce your hours, or change days? I think you will really need her so I wouldn't suggest leaving her care altogether- if nothing else you are keeping that tie for when you return to work! X

Exactly this happened to 1 of my mindees. We agreed half pay & 2days a wk. I would have either new baby or toddler. Or perhaps both when the need arose. If the hrs went over half pay then I'd just charge the extra. Worked well for us all, as I liked to have quieter time a few days a wk & when she goes back to work I'll have both children. Also means toddler has normality when their world has been turned upside down

Takesalongtime - I agree that's the ideal solution, but unfortunately as DH and I are both CMs we couldn't afford to have some quiet time unpaid, much as we'd like to support the lovely families we work with.

Also - will CM have space for baby when you return to work?

I have arranged with ny CM that she will take DD two days per week (and said CM can pick which days suit her), and once dd goes to Nursery (three months after baby is born) that will include the nursery drop off and pick up. She will also do one half day per week for baby once they get to about four/five months so DD1 and I can have a morning to ourselves before Nursery and dc2 will have a bit of time with CM.

If you intend to return to work, I would speak to your cm and ask what is the minimum number of hours she would do whilst keeping her FT space open. I had one child who came 7:30-6pm when mum was at work then dropped down to just 9-3 as I could take on a school child to make up the loss and suited mum as it cut down on cost but gave her some time alone with baby. Do also discuss if you want your cm to have baby if/how she will have space & any cost implications. If however you might not go back to work & just want time with baby or continuity of care for your daughter, then I would say anything more than once a week is fine & whatever you can agree with cm. I find children coming just once a week never really settle or feel part of the 'family' iykwim.

Personally I wouldn't hold a place for a baby until they were at a few months old as twice now I've been stung by mum's changing their minds about returning to work after number 2 child (as I did )