What should I do with my nanny

[june79]

Hi,

I really need some advice. I am a first time mom and sometime it becomes hard to decide what is best for my child. My son is turning 2 this month. His nanny has been hired since 4 months.
Till now, she hasn't been able to encourage him to eat fruits. My son is a fussy eater too! But I ask her to keep offering orange slices or strawberries. But every evening I come back and it's all laid on table. But I think you need to create interest in your child to try something new. It has been 100 times and the oranges get wasted. But he hasn't started eating or even tasting it. I am just feeling that the nanny is not expert or experienced enough to encourage the toddler to eat or if my toddler is really fussy!

Secondly, my toddler has started picking up words randomly and keeps saying them repeatedly. sometime back I heard him saying "oh shit" and "fuck" from somewhere. This is clearly been picked up from the nanny as no one else says these words at home.
Last weekend I even heard him saying "idiot". I am not sure if the nanny was telling someone on the phone or she actually called him an idiot.

I am very confused and have been contemplating if I should continue with this nanny for long. The toddler is attached to her and I have changed quite a lot of nannies only for disappointment and I don't want to keep giving him in new hands.

Kindly look forward to your advice, many thanks.

The fruit thing wouldn't concern me. You can't force a toddler to eat an orange, only offer it up in various ways, and set an example by eating it yourself.

The language would be a massive thing for me. I would tell the nanny your DS was picking up certain language, it is totally unaceptable and it must stop immediately.

Do you mean that you had a lot of nannies between zero and 4 months?

I ask because you've had this one two years.

Fruits not important anyway providing your child is getting a balanced diet.

Do you have other issues with her?

Two totally separate issues imo.

Re the fruit, you cannot get him to eat it too, so I think you are being unnecessarily harsh on nanny.

Re the swearing, if you can be absolutely sure he has picked this up from the nanny (and can you really be sure of this?) then this would be grounds for giving a warning and then terminating employment if this does not resolve for me.

How have you had a lot of nannies if you've had this one from 4m until 2 years??

The fruit thing is ridiculous. You offer him oranges if you feel that's a necessity. Or try him with other fruits. Why just orange or strawberry?

The bad language is a more serious issue. If you feel he is definitely picking it up from the nanny, then have a serious chat and give a formal warning. You need to be absolutely sure that it isn't from a neighbour/friend/family member/person from playgroup though. Absolutely sure.

If you consider inability to get your child to eat strawberries as grounds for dismissal it's not surprising you've been through a lot of nannies. Think about what's most important for your child; loving and consistent care or eating strawberries?

does he eat fruit for you? little unfair to tell the nanny off for something thats slightly out of her control - she can offer it but cant force fed a child or do you want her to leave child at table for many hours till he eats it ......

try other fruits , ex bubs would only eat banana and raisins, drove me mad as had her since birth and both mb/db/myself and older siblings ate/encouraged her -but she just wouldnt

in the end we made smoothies, so try that

swearing, again any proof its your nanny - rem one job i did the little girl dropped a toy and said 'fuck it' so clear and got context right, told mb and she said db had said it at the weekend, but just once

it could be from anyone at the park/M&T/yourself - many a time i have heard a mum adult scream at the park, 'come here your little shit' etc :(

just say to nanny that he has been saying the odd swear word and just say 'lets all make sure we dont let any rude words slip' that way not blaming her or you :)

I think OP means that the nanny has been there four months, and she's had quite a lot of nannies before that.

Agreed, the fruit thing is something you can't blame her for, short of force feeding the child she can't make him eat anything. The fact that the fruit is out looks like she's trying.

Bad language should be addressed, and blondes had a good point about not assigning blame to the nanny.

I ales think you need to look at why you've changed nannies so often. Did they leave or did you let them go? Do you think perhaps that your expectations are unrealistic?

Honestly, if your nanny could turn around a toddler's eating habits in four months, when you haven't been able to in two years, she wouldn't be working as your nanny, but having her won TV series and book deal.

What was the problem with the other nannies?

Thanks everyone for the your suggestions/views. I am feeling much better now and will speak to the nanny about language. And not blame her directly. Thanks a lot once again xxx