Accomodation requirements for live-in nanny?

[NaturesFirstGreen]

So, I'm unexpectedly a mid-30s single mum and need to return to work when DS is 1yr. I earn 120k so am just able to afford a live-in nanny I think (been looking n here for guidance - if you think I can't afford one feel free to say so!).

BUT

Nanny would have a (reasonable sized) double bedroom next to mine and have to share a full bathroom & separate loo with myself and DS. She would also be sharing a (veggie although perhaps I need to flex on this?) kitchen with us. The flat is only half decorated (including nanny's room and bathroom) but is in a really great central London location. There would be wifi and I could offer occasional use of (frankly scruffy but serviceable) car too.

Would this be acceptable to any reasonably qualified/experienced nannies?

Or do I need to look into live-out (can I afford this?)/nanny shares (how practical is this with full-time role?)?

I'd be happy with the bedroom, probably more so in my early days but I'm sure with your location you would be able to get a trained and experienced nanny. Also you might get some nannies that go home for weekends as well to give some more space. However I would be thinking about will she be allowed visitors over? How to work the bathroom timings and how to keep it clean? I like tidy bathrooms and a few houses I lived in the bathrooms haven't been cleaned and if I have cleaned them for my own piece of mind the family have dirtied them really quickly again. It also might be nice to have a TV in nannies room.

Vegetarian might be a bit of a sticking point although not the end of the world. Maybe advertise for vegetarian first but consider allowing some meat if you don't get a lot of interest.

Could look into a nanny share but that can add more dramas with finding another family and making sure everyone needs are met.

I'd assume we'd have to agree day-time visitors being baby-friendly, i.e. other nannies/children; evening visitors in own room (with use of living room/kitchen if I'm not using them) none of my business as long as clean & quiet; no over-night visitors.

Does that sound reasonable?

Sounds okay - most central London jobs don't offer full flat. I wouldn't even mention a car though, especially if you only have a one year old - who doesn't need taking to school. The insurance will be really high and its not needed really in CL.

I would look at getting the nanny you choose OFSTED registered as you can then use salary sacrifice vouchers and it does end up being bit cheaper. You can stipulate in your contract a pay back if you do pay to get them registered and they leave.

It obviously depends on your outgoings,but 120k should be sufficient to have a live-out nanny and it would probably be a lot less hassle. It doesn't sound like you really have that much space for someone living in.

If you need to save look at nanny shares (which work fine full time) or a nanny with their own child. Have you considered a childminder?

OP- my OH is on 150k and combined with his and my salary (30k) we couldn't afford a live out nanny when we have mortgage commitments. With expenses etc my sister pays her live out nanny over 3k a month- gross salary amounts to about £2800 and then she has to pay for trips out etc.

Live in sounds like the best option for you. Could you not get a decorator in to decorate the room quickly before someone starts? Although I don't see why someone would make that a deal breaker- I'd expect them to be there for work, not to admire the decor.

Well if they're living there, they're there to live as well as work aren't they? Although I can't see the decor being much of an issue, unless it's like a building site.

Ah, hadn't thought I'd be able to get live-out, but that could be better if possible. :-)

I'd prefer DS to be the only child, but taken to various groups (he already goes to several) than be the little one in a group all day which is why not aiming at CM. Is that silly?

It sounds to me like neither of you will have a lot of privacy from one another and I am concerned about sex tbh. Obviously you are unexpectedly single now and possibly not thinking in terms of relationships for some time but you're not going to live like a nun for ever nor actually do I think you can reasonably expect a nanny to do so. How is it going to work if you have a partner you want to stay over. Must nanny put up with that but not have the same right? It's tricky.

Don't think it would be fair to ban over night visitors full stop. For the first few months- fair enough. But when trust has been established I don't see the problem if I'm honest.

Whether you can afford it or not depends on your outgoings. I don't think we can advise you on that. Maybe start another thread about cost of a nanny in central London. Have a look for a thread by nannynick on the cost of employing a nanny, he gives some example figures and some great advice.

If you want your DS to be the only child then you will need a nanny to yourself. It won't do him any harm to be with a few other children though. A nanny with own child or nanny share could be a good compromise, it won't be just him, but just one or two others so not a big group either.

Personally, I think the half decorated room and bathroom is a deal breaker..they should be decorated before the nanny moves in, preferably before you interview.

I don't think you need to be flexible on being vegetarian. If you don't want meat cooked in your kitchen or your DC to eat meat, then it's a house rule. If the nanny wants to spend her weekend eating at a steak house, that's up to him/her.

If you are in central London, your nanny won't need a car, but I think it should be written into the contract what the car is to be used for, ie transporting your DC only, etc.

I'm wondering what kind of sex you all have! As the mother of a teenager, I desperately hope no one ever knows I have sex!!!!

Your nanny may get a bit judgy if you have several men friends stay over in succession I've never been that nanny, oh no! but I think saying female friends and only at the weekend is perfectly reasonable, or even no over night friends if there is no space. The frequently entertaining mother had no problem with my now DH staying over night, especially as they were in the same line of work and could have boring conversations with each other. I however always felt it was a bit wrong.

i work full time and have a live out nannyshare with one family with a child of a similar age. I find that works very well. the cost is much less than a nanny just for my child, and now that dd2 is not a tiny baby, she really doesn't need 1 adult all to herself. having the nannyshare means she learns to share her toys and get on with other kids.

i found a nanny first (childcare.co.uk) and also advertised for a share on nannyshare.co.uk but it took a lot longer to find a suitable share. Finding the nanny myself first gave me more choice, but did mean I took on the risk of not finding the right sharing arrangement (I'd have been paying solo full time if I hadn't found a sharing family).

Ah I've made the decorating part confusing: nanny's room & bathroom are decorated. Living room & kitchen are serviceable but not recently decorated and clearly in need.

I know this is MN but wasn't expecting a s*x discussion on this thread! Would be fine with nanny staying away some nights as long as back in time/fit state for work but not sure I'd want random people in my home overnight with such a young child. Similarly wouldn't expect nanny to have to cope with surprise faces over cornflakes...

Ok so that's your bottom line on that then - as long as you are doing what you expect her to do and are clear about that then it shouldn't be an issue.

This is why mumsnet is so helpful - we'll talk about everything!

Depending on your outgoings depends on if you can afford a nanny

Sounds a live out one would be better - or a cm - rather then a live in nanny and you both cramped

Why did you want a live nanny? what hours do you require?

The significant outgoing is mortgage at 900/month.

Had thought about live-in to save some money and also because I'll need as close to 8am-7pm as possible which is a pretty long day for someone who then has to commute.

Live out would def give both more freedom space-wise though. Hmmm...

A very typical working day for a lot of nannies is 10-12 hours (with a commute on top). So what you require is quite within what lots of nannies would expect to work.

£120k a year gross, gives you broadly £70k take-home. Mortgage is £12k, nanny is £36k (based on above poster), leaving you £22k, c£2k a month for other spends - perfectly doable.

Yes you can afford a nanny if you have £2k a month after paying mortgage and nanny

2k a month free spends?? £900 a month mortgage? I haven't got a clue what your worrying about. Trying spend 3.5k a month on a mortgage.

3.5k a month on a mortgage? How does anyone afford that?

11 hours working day (not incl commute) is totally normal in London, that's what our nanny does. So no need to consider line in just for that reason.

36k is about right for live out nanny pay.

There are additional costs however on top of this: employers' NI (tax calculator websites like mranchovy will tell you this), heating on much of the day, nanny's lunch, DC activities. Factor these in too.

If you can find a compatible nanny share partner you may be able to reduce all or most of these costs by 40%. but have a back up plan as nanny shares can fall apart quite easily (especially if one of the partners then has another baby...)

IME it is harder to find a more experienced nanny who wants to live in - live ins tend to be younger/ex au pairs/just starting out. Of course there are exceptions but bear this in mind.

All in all I'd strongly consider live out if you can.

Is there no contribution from your LO's father...? (don't wish to pry but obv it would make finances easier and in justice he should be contributing)