Au pair holiday request

[LUKYMUM]

I have an au pair who's relatively new, who has requested time off during term time. I can't take time off, and I have very very little support. She naturally didn't mention that she would want time off in March when I interviewed her. I told her I would like her to take time off at the same time as me.
I don't want to refuse her request, but I really don't know what I would do. I need to leave in the mornings before breakfast club opens so it would be a major inconvenience. Can I tell her that I really can't be without her? I don't want a new au pair for a week to replace her, it's intrusive and don't think it would be good for DC. Any ideas or advice?

NEVER tell ap u cannot b without her, she may get lazy.
I say its so nice 2 have u here.

AP asked me same thing 2 weeks after starting.
No mention of holiday b4 she came to me.
I would ask agency 4 advice, if recruitted thru agency.
Tell her a time when she may be able to visit home, if not possible at all, tell her.
Apologise and tell her u didn't mention a visit home b4 u came, I need u during term time.

Could you tell her when she CAN take holiday, that way she can plan time away. Could you show her school dates if holiday during term time is tricky, so she knows when school holidays occur.

March is some time off yet, so she is giving quite a bit of advance notice. Is there some particular reason it has to be in March? Would you be risking her leaving before March if you were to say she can not take holiday?
If it is an important family event, could she fly out on. Friday night and come back on Sunday night? Could it be accommodated in that sort of way, so you only have say an afternoon of childcare to find... possibly asking friends to help out, or having relative to stay?

Thanks Katiejon. I suggested Easter, I know it's more expensive. But she didn't expect me to pay her when she was on holiday, which I naturally am, so it offsets extra cost. (Unless she takes time off during term time).
To be fair to her she's quite good and uses her discretion. She sees how hard I work and tries to help out and if she even tried to be lazy, well. She knows I wouldn't tolerate it. But she's pretty fab in terms of her work ethic, thankfully for me. I thought she had already booked it, but now discovered she hasn't, so might ask her not to. I feel awful, but she's also going away in June, which I can cover luckily.

Close family member is having a baby end of February. Which I appreciate is very exciting. She wants a week specificially, so wouldn't agree to 3 days. I don't know other mums in his class, and I don't want him to go to a new childminder for first time, at 7.30 in morning (might be earlier, depending on where I'm based next year).
I think I'm going to say no sorry. If she leaves, it'll be sad. But I doubt she will. I treat her nicely and the work is not too hard.

Is there no half term or holiday around then? Were you upfront about the time off only during school holidays?

I think you're doing the right thing by telling her it's not convenient. If you can sweeten it by covering one day so she can have a long weekend then that might make her more inclined to stay. Is there any reason she wants a week?

What is in your contract , did it limit her holidays to school holidays or is she attending a college course ? Isn't it normal to agree that so many weeks are of each your proposal such as she names 2 and you name 2 ? I'd have thought that either March or June as both are termtime. A least she has given you time to make alternative arrangements even if it were a friend to take them that week

Maybe offer her if she can find somebody to do the morning school drop off it might be workable?

I was up front about the time off only during holidays. But she has a tendency to only half read or half listen. So on a lot of occasions, it's "oops I didn't realise". Which is normally not a problem. But as other pressures mount up I would rather not have to deal with this stress too. I'm thinking Easter is only a few weeks away, and she could stay for 2 weeks rather than 1. But she's resisting this idea.

My friends all work, or have their own kids. I hadn't thought of the idea of someone who might be interested in coming to the house in the mornings or afternoons. I just really don't want to have to travel to drop him off.
Thanks all for your ideas.

Does he have no school friends who you could drop him off at ? How old is dc in question ?

He's in reception.

So you could probably find someone with a child in his class in the meantime and offer to reciprocate. Maybe his teacher could say who lives near you or use upcoming Christmas fair, concert, play to make a few contacts ? Would be useful as a back up (in case of ap sickness etc) anyway.

I'm going for drinks with parents in few weeks, and also lucky enough to see christmas play. But I still think it's tough to ask for help in the mornings. Afternoons are easier to ask for a favour, and also I can't reciprocate. That's the problem. When could I ever help them out? I agree making contacts is important though, as well as being quite nice.

Why can't you reciprocate ? Your ap could do the school run for another child occasionally if their parent or sibling was ill or drop them back one afternoon to cover another emergency, you can take/collect from a weekend party or have a child round to play in the holiday .

Thanks Lizs

I'm in a similar situation...my ap wants to fly home for her graduation, but it is the week that OH is away on a course. It will be really tricky, but the bottom line is there is now way I would stop her going to her graduation, so I'll deal with it. I'll just be late for work for a few days, they'll manage without me and my dc's will get to school!

A graduation is different to baby being born. Big occasion in both cases but graduation is one day only.

Thanks. I've said it's fine for her to go but I can't be late for work. I don't have such an option Unfortunately.
I suppose I wish she could wait 3 weeks till easter.