Au-pair

[verap]

I have two questions:

Do you pay au-pair as usual when you go on holiday and dont want to take her with you? I pay her 3 weeks hols per year plus all bank holidays so dont want to pay for this as well....

Second is a bit tricky, she sometimes has a bad BO - I think she doesnt wash/change her clothes as often as she should, how would you tackle this?

music1 - did you request any refrences from her before accepting her as your au-pair?

I had a terrrible au-pair in the past, when I took a day off work and took my daughter to the playgroup she used to attend, I was told by other mums/nannies how poorly she looked after my daughter. Needless to say she was out of my house the next day.

I had to throw her out today. Sunday I left on business to South Africa.

My daughter was with my partner most of the day and hen m friend took her to the hairdresser at 5pm. They came back after 8.30pm. he greeted her and then went on to say her hair looked awful. My daughter got very upset and told her to shut up and went to bed by herself. She continued to tell her the hairdresser was awful and her hair did not look nice. She then called me in South Africa to tell me my daughter was really bad. I asked her what happened and she said my daughter told her to shut up. I asked her if maybe she told her something that my daughter did not like but she would not tell me. I tried to speak to my daughter but she would not let me. I phoned back and my daughter picked up the phone. I then heard the au pair shouting the F word in spanish to her and my daughter crying. My daughter told me she pointed a finger at her face and started swearing in spanish and repeated all the words she told her. I speak a little spanish and I can tell you it was not good at all. I call my partner and asked him to leave the job and go back home. This morning he threw her out. I already reported in Childcare.co.uk and I really do not want her to land on someone else doorstep when she comes back in September to this country. I will be back in England on thursday and i will hen de registered er from my doctor and ask the bank to change her address

Sorry about my writing but cannot stop crying thinking my daughter was together with such a nut case

Music1 I'm so sorry to hear about your experience. Could you suggest to au pair world that they have a review system to protect bith parents and au pairs?

music - sorry to hear about that. I felt the same when I threw out my au-pair - that my daughter had to put up with her....

Sometimes I think of buying a nannycam :-) My daughter is almost 4 now so she speaks more and hopefully would tell me if something was wrong... My husband works from home from time to time so he checks if things are ok. Also you can tell a lot from how your child and au-pair get on when you are around... weekends, etc.

I hope you find someone nice soon x

Honestly this business with childcare sometimes drives me nuts, the fact that I have no family here doesnt help so I always have to rely on strangers.

Don't get a nannycam!!!! It'll land you in all sorts of trouble if you do concealed filming (it's illegal) and if they know it's there they'll just avoid it.

I don't see how a review system would work. It would be open to all kinds of abuse. You really just need to check and trust references - people don't tend to badmouth someone they have a good relationship with. A negative reference has to be backed up with facts. And it's really difficult to fake a positive reference - you'll hear in their tone of voice whether they're just saying something or they sound overly relieved that the au pair is moving on.