Childminder keeps palming dd onto her dd

[daisydee43]

Hi

Have a childminder who is very good with dd1 and has her twice week. She was not that great to start with about doing what I wanted her to do but now she listens. At the moment tho she keeps saying that her 15 yo daughter has been looking after dd even tho the childminder was in the same house. I know this is probably easily done but its not her dd I'm paying and whatsmore she's not insured to look after kids and has recently broken her leg so might not be so quick

Thanks

if she's not fit for work then she shouldn't be working! crikey.

have you spoken to the CM direct about this?

Her daughter should definitely not be primary carer, but I know my 13 year old likes to play with the mindees, do arts and crafts etc. are you sure this is not what she means ?

I spoke to her direct when she wanted her dd to look after my dd while she went to pick up her car but since then I'm not sure how to bring it up,

Every eve when I pick dd up from CM she is being held by the CMs dd so don't really know how much she is involved but CM is always busy doing something else when I turn up

You need to talk to your CM to see if
1 - your DC has latched onto the teenager and they are using this together, to give her a more positive care experience, or
2 - your CM is ignoring your DC and just leaving her with a teenager (in which case I would find another CM).

Am setting up a meeting on mon, but of a tricky subject to bring up tho :(

It could be entirely option 1 of HSMM's post. I have a mindee that adores my dd and wants to play with her and have cuddles the moment she walks in the door, I don't get a look in! Obviously I'm still downstairs and supervising play, but I'm not standing over them and may well prepare dinner / wash up at the same time.

Approach the meeting as a general progress review and ask at the same time about the bond that has developed between your dd and the minder's dd too. This will give you an insight without having to broach the topic in a more direct way.

I was (still am, but am now married and grown up!) a childminders daughter and throughout my teenage years I was always playing with the children and was really close to some of the kids mum looked after. I went on to nanny for one of the children when they had siblings later on. It was never a problem, the children enjoyed the time with me, mum got to sort the tea, I got experience in something which I now do as a job. Win win situation. Children of all ages learn so much from being with other children of different ages, which is part of the benefit of having a childminder and them having their own family about.

My 2 year old DD is frequently playing with my childminder's children when I collect her. Her particular favourite is the 17 year old son who reads to her.

I don't have any issues with this. One of the reasons i chose my childminder is because of the family atmosphere. I also accept that early evening is going to be a busy time for her - coordinating pick ups, dinner and homework etc.