seatbelts - how much should I worrry over this?

[parakeet]

Hi all - my two children are with a childminder I really like and rate highly, and they seem very happy there. My two have told me that occasionally the CM's own child (who is about six) occasionally doesn't wear a seatbelt when travelling in the CM's car.

Knowing their routines, I guess this would have been over short distances (about 5 minutes in the car) - but still...

I asked my two if they always had their seatbelt put on, and were in their booster seats, and they said yes - but still, my mind boggles over anyone who would let this happen to their own child. I do believe my children by the way.

Are there not enough seats in the car?

That is a very good point. It's hard to say, as the number of mindees she has varies depending on the day of the week. I will ask my children how many are in the car when this happens.

Another thought has occurred to me. Previously I was thinking of this being a risk only to her own child. That is bad enough in itself, but you could argue it is none of my business. But of course, an unrestrained child could fly around the car in the event of a crash, and hit my two.

I can foresee me having to have a difficult conversation with her...

i would be inclined to tell you to take your own advice and mind your own business....

as a childminder, if a parent questioned on me on what i do with my own children, from what has been said to them by their own young children, i wouldn't take too kindly to it to be honest. it would feel like being given the third degree!! how old are your children? how do you know that they haven't got the wrong end of the stick?

Personally I would mention it - in terms of children can get things wrong

does the cm's child maybe undo the seat belt and cm assume it is done up? some children do undo their belts

if the cm knows and does nothing about it then i would have to seriously consider if i wanted my children to stay in her care

to me car safety is fundamental - no excuse for lack of car seats/seat belts

tbh the only way you will now is to ask your cm

maybe say along the lines of xxx said that dc wasnt wearing his seat belt the other day,but you know what kids are like alwaystelling tales

and then see what her reply and facial contact is like

so ask face to face rather then over the phone iyswim

I'd be worried TBH, just based on my experience - although DS has always been in the appropriate child seat and CM waited for my say-so to move him to the next stage, her own child was in a seat they were definitely well below the weight range for (I know because her DC was smaller than my DC - and asked me to pick her up one day and she was much lighter - and my DC wasn't heavy enough for that type of seat.)

Anyway I didn't say anything, thinking, it's her child, not my business, but it ended up being just the first in a line of things I've felt uncomfortable about and I'm not really happy at all any more.

I think you could approach it non-accusatively - just say something like I'm sure I must be mistaken, but my DC has said this - I just wanted to check what was actually happening here? If you get a good response bringing this up then it paves the way for any future conversations you might have to have. And if you get a defensive/negative response then that's a big red flag to how she might deal with any other concerns you might have.

Is the DC tall?
My DD was tall enough not to legally need a booster from around the age of 7yo. We kept her using it until she was 145cm, but she hasn't used one for about a year now. She has just turned 9yo.

Thanks for all the replies. But ReetPetit, it is my business, because my children could end up getting harmed by an unrestrained child in the even of a crash.

I will mention it, but will phrase it tactfully, acknowledging that my children may have been mistaken.

Pip, her child is not going without a booster, she is going without a seatbelt.

Do you remember these ads ? Yes your children may have misunderstood or misreported it to you (unlikely they both would), but the conversation is probably easier to have than the conversation you would have after an accident. The message that it is ok not to wear a belt is also not one I would be happy to have given to my DD.

Obviously you can broach the issue carefully, but in the end this would be a deal breaker for me in terms of childcare, so if she is doing this and won't/can't fix it then I think you need to look for another CM>

Sorry - misread.
That's pretty much unforgivable in someone who has a professional interest in child safety. I think you do have to mention it, tactfully as you say.

I am a CM and I wouldn't mind you asking, because I would never do it.

ds1 is 7 and usually just on a booster seat, today we lost control in a rear wheel skid on a roundabout in the rain and ds banged his head (fortunately not hard) on the car window as the car slewed round, ds2 in a car seat with sides was fine. I am now very aware of car seats and will be getting one with sides for ds1. Before today he refused to use one because he felt like a baby, he's changed his mind.

I would never forgive myself if he'd been seriously hurt.

As a cm and a mum I would never allow a child (or adult tbh) to travel in my car unrestrained. It is very much your business as your dc could be harmed or could follow the bad example being set. Does she have a policy relating to car travel? I would raise concerns with cm, could have been a one off, but still not ok imo.

if she's unconcerned about her own child being without a seatbelt, how bothered is she about other people's children being without seatbelts? It is your business and you are right to raise it.

I am with HSMMaCM. It would not bother me in the slightest if you asked me. In fact, I have gone so far as to correct the way mindees where their belts with their parents (one family let the boys tuck the cross body part of the strap, behind their backs so that they only had lap belts on).

If the CM is being slack with her child then you have to ask what other corners she is cutting.