Need childcare - don't know what! Advice, please??

[MrsWooster]

Hi
DS (2.5) is currently with a cm for two days and DM for one day, and DD is due in March 2013.

I work three days, hence DS's arrangement but things need to alter a bit: DM is getting a bit frailer and DStepDad is poorly so the one day arrangement is looking less reliable (it sounds awful but you know what I mean...). DP works shifts so sometimes is around on my work days or starts very late.

An obvious solution would be both DC in with cm for all my 3 days when I go back off maternity, but... I am not 100% about cm; DS will be starting kg for half of the current DM day, so there's be a massive pick up/drop off issue; it's punitively expensive for 2 DC at a cm when quite often DP is home on those days.
Is there an 'outside the box (sorry!) solution? Do family-helps still exist, who would do childcare when DP IS working and other family help when he can bugger about with skilfully parent the DC? I am in cloud cuckoo land? Does Mary Poppins exist?
Be kind - as I said, I don't know what I'm doing.
Ps am in Leeds, if that's relevant.

It's a tricky one.

No-one really likes hit and miss hours, most people want a regular job. A nanny-housekeeper is probably what you need, but they come at a premium. A mother's help would do the same job, but wouldn't normally be left in sole charge of 2 young dc's. An au pair is an option if you have space for someone to live in, but again I wouldn't advise leaving them alone with two small children for long periods.

How often is DH able to cover? If nearly always then an au pair would probably be ok. When you and DH are both at work what hours would you need?

No room for au pair - also too slatternly to have someone live in and see me slopping about the place in my raggedy pjs! I suppose a mother's help is the sort of thing I imagined but is that more house-help than childcare? Would a "proper" childcare peson be offended at being 'demoted' to housekeeping when DP is at home? It's very hard - I am distinctly pfb about DS and expect to be just as overprotective of DD so it may be insolvable... Ta for advice, so far.

A mother's-help wouldn't usually have full-time care of the DC's, but would do household stuff plus a few hours of childcare as well. They're there to help the mother I suppose as opposed to standing in for the mother 8am-6pm like a nanny would. If you tend to be a tad overprotective you may prefer a qualified/experienced/registered childcarer i.e. a nanny.

If you advertise the job as nanny-housekeeper and state specifically what you would need you should find someone who won't mind doing the house stuff when DP is there.

If you advertise for a nanny (without mentioning the housekeeper bit) you'd be wasting your time and theirs because most nannies won't want to do shared care (i.e. there is a SAHP) and won't want to do housekeeping outside of nursery duties.

Thanks a million - it's certainly given food for thought... there may be some possibilities here and, frankly, the cm is so expensive that even qualified/experienced childcare-plus-housekeeper may well be more affordable once there's two DC to take into account.

I'm a nanny for a family where one of the parents is often at home for part of the day. I still carry on as normal, doing our daily things etc we find it works best for the children as there is some sort of routine.

Occasionally I may leave the baby with dad boss whilst I do school run/shop dash

could you put ds in nursery and dd with current cm if you are jappy woth her? do you qualify for any help/vouchers towards childcare costs?
i'm surprised cms are expensive in leeds, thought they were cheaper in north of england, how much does she charge? would she give discount for a sibling?

Not desperately happy with her AND a bit nursery-averse. It's a lot per day plus charge for holidays etc so it really does add up... Looks like it's expensive as well as grim up north!

could you look for another childminder, some will give sibling discounts.