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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

Nanny birthday

22 replies

lamandler · 13/10/2011 20:39

Hello - quickie question. It is our nanny's birthday next week. She has been with us just three months, and is our first nanny so I was clueless about presents until someone mentioned a week's wages is standard as a gift. We are already just about managing to pay wages so that's a struggle for us!
I don't want to be tight though - she is great and always goes above and beyond. Any thoughts?

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nannynick · 13/10/2011 20:57

week's wages is standard as a gift

I must be in the wrong job. I've never got a weeks wages as a Birthday present in any nanny job I've had. So I would say it certainly is NOT standard.

Come to think of it my birthday isn't often even remembered, unless I make a big thing about it (which I don't). I make a cake at work, for myself (well the children help make, decorate and eat it).

A bonus at Christmas might be more usual, it the nanny is especially hard to buy a present for... though even a bonus at Christmas isn't to be expected (there are probably message threads about that in the archive - use advanced search). Every family does what they feel is appropriate given all the circumstances involved.

PickleMyster · 13/10/2011 20:58

Wow a weeks wages!!!

As a nanny I would be embarrassed if my employer spent a day's wage on my b'day present let alone a weeks.
My former employer booked me in for a facial at a local health spa for my birthday and I thought that was a lovely present.

diggingintheribs · 13/10/2011 21:00

slight hijack

how much is normal for a xmas bonus? my dh suggested 15% plus a present from the kids

eurycantha · 13/10/2011 21:20

I think Ive only had one Xmas bonus in 25 years,I do know nannies who get a weeks wage as a bonus but they are rare ,You need to know what your nanny is interested in,I have heard spa treatments suggested before on here ,I must say I would hate that so check first if you want to go with that .I am a little boring and usually get books ,Dvds wine,Amazon tokens..A little something made by the children is always nice,some on here like photo s,other s don t. Most bosses I know do spend a reasonable amount on their nanny.I think that if your nanny has only been with you three months you may not go as wild as you may when the nanny has been with you for some time.I actually got two hundred in amazon tokens last year and wine and chocs from the children.It is just nice to know that you are appreciated.Ive heard friends say that their boss didn`t get them anything!!!!

nannynick · 13/10/2011 21:21

diggingintheribs try these message threads from last year to get a feel for it:
Christmas for nanny bonus
Nanny didn't acknowledge bonus
Christmas Bonus

ChippingIn · 13/10/2011 21:23

Ha ha ha - who said that?

Simply remembering is a great start :)

If you get something you'd get one of your friends it will be much appreciated :)

Not knowing you or your nanny it's hard to make specific suggestions but things like wine/manicure voucher/t-shirt/jumper/scarf & gloves... or a small amount of money with a note to 'treat yourself to something lovely'... it all depends how well you know her & what she's like.

A weeks wage is definitely NOT necessary!! (but would be very much appreciated I'm sure LOL).

A card from all of you with the kids scribbling/writing their names is always really appreciated too!

Digging - 15% of the weekly, monthly or annual amount?

nannynick · 13/10/2011 21:28

15% of annual salary... think a lot of people would be very very happy with that.

As chippingin says, simply remembering is a start. Reminds me, had better check mine is in the digitial diary, then it may get remembered.

Original poster

lamandler · 13/10/2011 21:35

Thanks everyone - and would a day off full pay be good too? DH is potentially off that day

OP posts:

diggingintheribs · 13/10/2011 21:44

oh dear - this is a mine field! DH and I work in industries where bonuses are the norm so 15% annual seemed reasonable! As she comes from abroad I thought she might use it to cover her flights home for xmas

lamandler - i'm not a nanny but i would love it if my employer gave me an extra day off for my birthday!!

nannynick · 13/10/2011 22:02

Maybe not the whole day off, maybe not much advance notice about it - a day or two notice perhaps, such as saying DH says he expects to be home mid afternoon so as it's your birthday you may get to leave early.

You don't want to start setting up an expectation that they would get the day off next year, the year after etc.

diggingintheribs - But can you afford 15% of annual? What may be norm in your industry is not going to be the norm when you are the one paying the money. If it's norm in your industry to get a large bonus on occasion, when that happens do a salary review for your nanny... may be a good time to offer a bit more for the job as a whole, rather than a one off large payment.
Flights home for Xmas though sounds a lovely gift if it's something you can afford.

ChippingIn · 13/10/2011 22:28

Digging - can I be your nanny?? If you give your nanny 15% of her annual pay as a bonus she should be well made up!! If you can afford it & want to that's brilliant and should keep her very happy. It varies from 'nothing' to a 'shed load of money' so there isn't a 'standard' or 'usual' - just do what is right for your family.

Lamandler - if DH can cover the day that would be a lovely thing to do. I would give her as much notice as you can so that she can plan a lovely day or all of her family/friends may be working and she might not enjoy it as much. Of course she wont expect it every year if you say something like 'DH has been able to swing the day off on the xx/xx and as it's your birthday we thought you might like to have the day off, paid of course. Sadly he can't do this every year, but it's good timing this time! :) '

diggingintheribs · 13/10/2011 22:32

we can afford 15% this year but not certain enough to do a salary review!

i think we will offer the flights, some currency if her country and a present from the kids

it is an odd working relationship as I am obviously very grateful that she cares so well for the most precious things in my life and therefore makes my life so much easier as i don't worry about the kids when i'm at work

ChippingIn · 13/10/2011 23:03

Digging - She sounds like a good fit for your family :) If you can afford the 15% and want to do it, then you should. I wouldn't offer the flights & currency though, give her what you want/can afford and let her choose what to do with it - she may prefer to put it towards a car/another trip/new clothes - who knows, but it feels a bit controlling to offer the flights if you could just give her the money. However, you know her, I don't and you may feel it would do her good to go 'home' or know that is what she would love.

ChippingIn · 13/10/2011 23:06

Yes - the relationship between a parent and a nanny is an odd one :) The better it works the odder it is too. Some people will say it's just like any other, and maybe for them it is, but mostly it's vastly different to any other working relationship and IMO it should be!

diggingintheribs · 13/10/2011 23:09

Well she has already bought the flights so it would just be cash. it's going through payroll so much easier that way!!

It is an odd relationship because the reason that DH and I are happy with her is that she genuinely adores DD and DD her. it's not generally a requirement of other jobs that you bring your emotions into work with you!

ChippingIn · 13/10/2011 23:11

It is lovely when you know you are leaving your DC with someone they love being with and that someone loves them back! I'm glad you found her.

jendifa · 16/10/2011 11:50

I've had various things, including money (about half weeks wages), vouchers for shops I use, books etc. One family hosted a dinner party for me and ten friends which was wonderful :)

For Christmas, the best was one mum who would ask "What are your parents getting you?" and I would say the things I had mentioned I would like. She would then get me one of those things, and include a gift receipt incase my parents had got me the same!

TheOriginalFAB · 16/10/2011 11:54

I didn't even get a weeks wages as a Christmas present. No way is a weeks wages a normal gift for a birthday.

A nice box of chocolates is sufficient. No need to go over the top. Get the kids to make a card or draw a picture.

PigfartsPigfartsHereICome · 16/10/2011 15:09

I've never gotten a birthday present from a family but then my birthday is between Christmas and New Years and when I take a new job I always say I have that time off as part of my holiday, so I can go home to family. For Christmas I've had things ranging from nothing at all, no card no mention no nothing, up to a weeks wage plus a box of goodies from L'Occitane. Have to say I wouldn't like a spa day or anything, I wouldn't say that to them of course but it would make me uncomfortable. If I could ask for any gift at all I would say book tokens!

HappyAsIAm · 17/10/2011 09:39

digging I think its lovely that you are able to afford and are willing to be so generous towards your nanny.

FWIW we give our fabulous nanny (who works 3 days a week for us) £100 for her birthday and £100 for Christmas plus a small box of chocolates or similar. And an Easter egg for Easter. This year, we have also paid her a £300 (so a week's wages) bonus as she has, in a year, never been off sick, is always willing to do overtime, and makes our lives so much easier. My DS really likes her and she does wonderful things with him. She has also had maybe 2 weeks or so extra paid holidays. This is what we can afford.

sunshinenanny · 17/10/2011 15:57

A gift voucher is always a nice gift especially if you find out her favourite shop

mogs0 · 18/10/2011 18:46

My most memorable birthday present was a home-made voucher for two tickets to a musical in the West-end. It was such a well thought out present and I was so touched by the home-made-ness of it.

I am another nanny who has never received a weeks wages as a bonus but knew a few nannies who got a 4 figure Christmas bonus.

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