Home Alone - the secondary school years

[wellymelly]

www.mumsnet.com/te/9.gif

Can anyone advise me about how to judge at what stage a child should be before letting them get themselves home from school and be trusted to be responsible? I am a single mum and my job is extremely vulnerable. I am likely to have to take a job with longer hours and that is further away from home - and if so this could result in some childcare changes. Lots of parents I speak to say that they can trust their year 7/ 8 children to go home, get on with some homework and get themselves something to eat and drink and, generally be responsible until they get home from work. I feel very uneasy about this and it is inhibiting my job searching -- I keep worrying about not getting home until late. My DS is ever so slightly immature!!! I am confident that he would not get any homework done - its hard enough with me reminding him every 5 mins - (pulling teeth springs to mind!)

I think I was around the age of 12 when I used to walk home from school, let myself into the house (though my older sister - 18mths older was often back before me) and do my homework chill out in front of the tv.

We did after school clubs as much as possible thus reducing the amount of time we could be at home on our own. I think typically I would be home with my older sister for probably an hour, maybe 90 minutes. We knew several of the neighbours, so if any problems we could go to them.

This was back in the mid-late 80's.

I agree with you, the chances of him getting homework done are slim. If school has a homework club then he may do more there... though may not do.

DS totally scatty...prone to anxiety too and worries if I am longer than half an hour at the local shop! Don't know yet what my job will be or when I'll get one

Sounds like your DS needs company. Any local students around your area whose college hours might fit?

Any after school clubs?

Although I wouldnt, as hes not happy being left on his own at the moment any longer than 15 mins or so, I would rather leave my 9yr old (10yr in 2 weeks) alone rather than my almost (in a few days) 13yr old, as he just doesnt think things thro and what the consequences might be, I could write a list of things hes done, but I wont bore you.
You know your child, do you think, (apart from the homework thing, you can suppervise that when you get in?) hes mature enough to be left alone in the house on his own?

yeah - am thinking that he can have a key when he is about 13! - luckily my childminder still happy to have some days for now and he has started to go to homework club for an hour some days - seems to be working out at the mo - a student would be perfect but they would probably be at same school! Thanks for advice. Its a tricky one isn't it? Hopefully my arrangements will stay put for a while....

Totally depends on the child - DS 13yo - couldn't trust him whereas DD is 7yo and think she'd be ready before he is.