Getting help looking after DD whilst working at home - feasbile, realistic?

[Jules125]

I am returning to work (totally traumatised, but we need the money) and 9 month DD is not settling well into nursery so far. She is only there 2 days a week at the moment, and next year I will need to work more hours, but I can work them at home - just going in for meetings / odd days. I can hardly bear to hand her over right now, and I'm wondering if it would be easier to get someone in to help me look after her at home? Does anyone have experience of this? Is this a mother's help type role? Where do you find this type of help?

I know (or hope) she might settle at nursery eventually, but i really feel I want to limit the amount of time she needs to spend there whilst she is so young.

Hi, you could get a nanny to do this, but it would probably cost more than nursery fees, plus you would have to pay tax/ni aswell!

I'm sure someone with more info will be along soon, but didn't want to read and run :)

There are plenty of nannies who don't mind working with a parent in the home but you would need to be sure you wouldn't mind seeing someone else caring for your child. And you'd need to define the role carefully- is it a sole-charge nanny job, with no input from you? This would be best if you were completely seperate from your DD and nanny, working in a study or whatever. Because dipping in and out confuses the child, the nanny and makes life very difficult. If however you are looking for someone to work alongside you, for example taking DD to the park or having her during the times you have to go in but you are in charge, doing work and being the main carer with support that is a very different role, IMHO. As a proffesional nanny I would consider the first role, if the market were slow, but not the second. Reason being- children can confused, and clingy, and for me it didn't work.

Its not as common to see a nanny with just one charge, parents usually see it as more cost-effective with two or more. It can be very expensive. A mother help or newly qualified nanny would work out cheaper, and an aupair even cheaper but you would need to provide accomodation and they shouldn't really have sole charge of an under two.

Have you thought about a childminder? Your LO just might not be suited to a nursery environment and might get on better in the more home-like environment of a childminder.

I'm a nanny with a parent who works at home. It works well because the parent has very definite working times and the children understand that. I also bring my own child to work and accepted a reduced rate because of this. Is that something you might consider?

Nannies often work out more expensive for only one child because they are subject to national minimum wage and you would need to pay employers tax and NI on top as nannies can't be self employed.

Thanks for giving me things to think about. I would definitely be willing to consider a nanny with her own child or a newly qualified nanny / mother's help. I suppose that yes, it could get confusing for my DD if I am there on and off. Its all so hard to contemplate leaving her at all at the moment :-(

I nanny for a baby whilst his mum and dad work from home, it is a great arrangement. From the start, the mother made it clear to me that whenever her baby wanted her she would be available at any time to give milk, cuddles etc, now, 6 months into my role baby is delighted to see me, very rarely needs his mum and it is because she was always available for him when he needed her,it's great as long as you share the same (ish) ethics as the nanny. Good luck!

Thanks bb. Yes, that's the kind of arrangement I was hoping for. Its great to know it can work. I shall give that more thought, as I try to settle my DD in better.

I have a realtively inexperienced nanny and work from home about half the time with a similar arrangement to badger. It works well for us as I'm around to give cuddles and breastfeed, especially as DS is still very little, but I can get on with my job and nanny gets on with hers. It also gives us flexibility if I need to go in for meetings or shift a class around but I can plan and mark in peace!