Best way for nanny handover at end of day?

[Knackeredmother]

I wondered what works well for others?
I don't always see my nanny as dh gets home before me and feel
Completely in the dark as to what my children get up to!
Our nanny does lots with the children but has to be really pushed to give details at the end of the day. Btw my dh (or me on occasion) is always home early so we are not asking her to handover in her own time.
I think it may be her personality but she will tell me they have been
Swimming/park etc when specifically ask but won't tell me if they enjoyed it, had a picnic, were upset etc or developmental developments. Just general things I'd like to know as a mother.
I often find out by chance they have done some nice things like playdates etc.
Last week she forgot to tell us she had scraped our car when out with the kids and tonight my daughter has a nasty blistering rash on her hand. I was worried it could be a burn so rang our nanny to ask if she knew Where it had come from. She stated she had seen it too but forgot to mention it.
When she first started I asked for a diary but she did not want to fill it in and said she would prefer to verbally handover. We do have a calendar but she tends to just write her annual leave on it, not stuff like play dates etc.

So, am I expecting too much information or if not how can I improve things?
Should I insist on the diary?

Sorry for dodgy paragraphs courtesy of I phone. I should add, I think she is selling herself short as she really does do a lot of varied activities with the dc and should be getting recognition for it!

Personally I don't do much at all in terms of handover at the end of the day. On occasion I may mention any lack of poo or huge quantities of it, I may mention if a child has not eaten much, or has slept a lot.

I log mileage done, so that tells my employer what we have done each day - though they only get the spreadsheet at the end of the month. I also take pictures whilst on outings (when I remember and when it's possible to do so) which get shared with my boss every now and then weekly/fortnightly.

Come the end of the day, I often feel quite tired so it's not an ideal time to do chatting.

How long have you had your nanny, sounds like it may have been a while thus you are not concerned on a trust issue?

What are you trying to establish? Is it that you miss your DC and feel that you are nolonger involved thus want to clutch on to something, even if that is a bit of paper that says "X went to the park today" - which in my view does not tell you much at all.

No it's not a trust issue at all, I trust her implicitly I just feel I ought to know a bit more about what my children do in their lives!
You are right I do miss them though!

I'd talk to her and explain that you totally trust her and know that she does lots with the dc, but that you'd like to feel more involved. Ask her even to jot down stuff on a sheet of paper during the day. Not even full paragraphs, just random sentences as she thinks of stuff, before moving on to something else and forgets.
Explain that it's because you miss them and want to be able to picture their day, not that you want to check up on her.

If you want her to fill in a diary - tell her to.

Sounds like you want quite a lot of detail though, I'd have thought "went to the park" was sufficient. I am a nanny, and now have my ds at nursery - when I pick him up I ask if he was ok, they tell me when he slept, what he ate, and if he had any injuries. I don't need to have a detailed account of what he played with or what activities they did though.

I don't want a really detailed account but if we don't ask u don't even get 'went to the park'. I'll often find remnants if cakes they've made , a homemade mothers day card in a drawer found 2 weeks after the event sand in shoes and just think it would be nice to know what they've been up to.
Perhaps I'm expecting too much, I certaintly felt more informed when they went to nursery

Tell her to write a diary entry every day then -maybe give her specific headings, or ask her to write something for morning and something for afternoon. How about giving her a camera and asking for a couple of photos every day too?

Diary's at some nurseries get written up on mass. I've even seen them be written up prior to an event actually happening. "Mark loved sticking cardboard boxes together" - yet Mark then refuses to do the activity at all.

So you may have felt more informed when they went to nursery, but it might not have been accurate.

Does your nanny take photos whilst on outings - that would be a start I feel.

I'm confused - I ask DS's nanny every day what they've done, how DS was, how he's eaten etc. However if I don't ask she wont tell me. So why don't you just ask?

Iggly, when I'm there I do ask but then will find out later by chance lots of other things happened that day too.
A camera is very good idea, I haven't liked to ask her to take pictures on her phone and send them due to cost.

Can she not take pictures on the phone, then upload them say once a week to a picture sharing facility like Picasa which allows secure sharing?

What about travel logs - does nanny use their own car?

No she uses our car and we don't track mileage, although we should probably keep a log.
The uploading pictures idea is also a good one, thanks.

I kept a diary when I nannied. I would write down what we did, when the children slept, where we went and what they ate. I would also write down any medicines given and any new words/skills learnt unless it was the first time.

Once mum and dad get home they want the house to themselves and the nanny wants to get home. A diary is a great way of letting them know what has gone on with eating into anyone's time.

Maybe you need to have a discussion and explain what you would like to know? Perhaps you can get home early one day to set time aside - and have a chat about how things are going etc?

Get a 10p exercise book. Ask for at least one sentence for each child along positive lines...

e.g Today, Toby couldn't stop laughing when we played on the swings at the park...
Megan jumped in without armbands at the swimming pool today...

This thread has really opened my eyes to how fab our 2 nannies have been! Knackeredmother I am totally with you, I hate missing out and I like to know the minutiae of my children's lives, I'm happy to have a nice job, but I would rather be with my children.

My nannies have always had a cup of tea with me (glass of wine on Fridays) 20 mins before their finishing time where they have happily chatted about the day and other general chit-chat about themselves, my work, what's going on down the street etc.

I personally prefer this relaxed chat approach as I feel it gives a more realistic picture of things, not just the bare bones of what went on. I ask lots too about who they played with, whether they liked something etc

Can you be home just once a week to have a cup of tea and half an hour chat with your nanny?

If you want to have a handover time, then a chat over a cup of tea like RedGruffalo sounds a good idea. However it may not be totally practical depending on the circumstances, age of children - though you can certainly try doing it with young children around.

Think you need to ask more. If you start asking more, then your nanny will start telling you more. DH could do the asking when he comes home first, then pass info to you later on.

My handovers are really short, father back first, if he is not in good mood (which happens sometimes) than it affects all of us. I say 2 sentences than I'm off. But in the mornings we have a bit more time and I update them what we did previous days, i also email them pictures weekly and write texts, emails regulary about things we do/not do.

OMG

"forgetting to tell you she had scraped the car"

I used to hardly ever see MB, either before or afterwork.... BUT i always kept a nanny diary, and wrote and mentioned particularly important stuff. Some times when children were going through particularly awkward stages, id call MB in the evening and we'd discuss strategies on the phone.

You are NOT unresaonable to want to know what your children do, and anything else that needs mentioning.

Id say if she says nothing then assume there is nothing major to comment on, but it seems you cant rely on that method either

My bosses provided me with a digital camera, and asked me to take as many photos as possible, (within reason obviously). That was fab as i always had it with me, and they got lots of photos of their children. and it was great fun to look back on together The time / date was automatically stored on each photo

Id suggest that to your nanny, and INSIST she keeps a daily diary.... i cant see many nannies having a problem with you wanting to know what your children do, (though there are parents who want to know exactly how many mouthfuls of food they ate, the content of every nappy, and every teeny tiny detail, which is very very annoying too.... ) stress that she doesnt need to not every moment of the day.... also perhaps use wanting to meal plan at the weekend as an excuse for wanting to know what your children have eaten during the week.