Parents of mindees consistently a mere 5-10 min late...

[sydenhamhiller]

I'd love some feedback on this problem. Two separate toddlers are both due to be collected at 4.45 the three days they're with me...and both are collected at 4.50/4.55 at least 1 or 2 of those 3 days a week. Which means by the time the kids are collected, wrestled into their prams, etc etc etc, it's after 5.

Am I being unreasonable to feel a bit fed up with this? DH thinks yes. My own 2 kids were at nursery 8-6, and if I turned up at 6.05 I'd be paying £15 for every 10 minutes late. I do have a lateness policy but foolishly have never implemented it. When parents turn up saying, oh sorry, a bit late, I paste a smile on and say 'oh, don't worry, it's fine'. Because I don't want the £15 - I want to be able to do my kids homework with them like I promised/ take them to Beavers/ Rainbows on time!

Is it too late to do anything now? How can I raise it without it becoming a huge issue?

I have to add - on a few occasions (like tomorrow), I have them for an extra hour, and don't charge (I know, I know...). So I am flexible, and not penny-pinching, it's more the lack of respect for my family time I think.

Would love any thoughts, as I think perhaps it is just the end of a long term.... :o)

aaargh

do you do a regular newsletter? pop in a para about timeous collections, enforce your late collection policy and fgs don't work extra for nothing

there is being flexible and then there is lying down and inviting a foot-wiping

this is tough love, I know, but you MUST be professional; by saying oh it's fine and lying through your teeth you are tacitly accepting and even encouraging late pick ups

(PS I've been there myself and know how easy it is to slide into the traps)

Why do you not charge for the extra hour?? I would also make it clear at drop off that you need the children collected at 4.45 because you need to get to beavers etc. and see if that helps. if not then ask if they want their contracted time extended to 5pm to cover the late pick up.

agree with others

also i assume they know you need to do rainbows etc... how about as they arrive you get YOUR children strapped into the car, saying quick, we dont want to be late etc.

making it much clearer you need ti go now not in 5 mins?
also i assume the children are all ready (theirs and yours) toys away, shoes and coats on and perhaps JUST telly on, which can be switched off as soon as mummy arrives, so you can hand him STRAIGHT over to his own mum while you deal with your children.

They can wrestle them into their prams outside the door if necessary, so you can lock up and leave them to sort out their own DC

I would ask to speak to each parents next time they do pick up and explain that you have let this go for a while but it is stopping you getting to your own children's activities on time and therefore things need to change. Personally I think that will shame them more than asking for late charges - not that that means you shouldn't necessarily charge, just that if it were me the Beavers issue would give me more of a guilt trip. I would say that you need them to be picked up on time unless in case of a real emergency. If that doesn't then happen, I would say you need to move pickup time to 4.30 as 4.45 doesn't fit for you anymore. That should make them realise what an (unfair) inconvenience it is even if 'only' 5-10 mins.

Oh thanks everyone...it is ridiculous, just when parents turn up saying, oh sorry, traffic, I just find it hard to say "well actually it's not ok".

I have written reminders "remember we have beavers tomorrow", and Zac and Isla are in uniform, lined up at door with shoes on, or even waiting in car, and I just get a sort of 'oh hi, on your way to beavers'. Arggggh.

I realise I am being doormat, do you think this is better in newsletter than in person? It's been hard, as DH thinks I was being petty, so reassuring to have had these responses. Have felt that is it is disrespectful to me - but as you say, have been a doormat and encouraged this...

You're not being petty. And if you start enforcing your late policy they'll almost certainly all start coming on time.

The thing is that if you say 'oh it's okay, no problem,' when people are late they will assume you are telling the truth. Because it suits them to believe that, maybe, but you do need to stop expecting them to take hints and just say what you mean.

If you have a newsletter I would put something in there, it will be less awkward for you and the parents that way.

Think you need to be a little more assertive, and charge for your time, you're worth it!

I actually think speaking to them personally would be best. It's easy to 'miss' something that is only in a newsletter so I would do both. Speaking calmly and assertively will do it. Anne Dickson's book A Woman In Your Own Right: Assertiveness and You (in fact any of her books) is great at giving you 'scripts' for doing stuff like this.