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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

Do you change nappies before pick-ups?

23 replies

BoysRusxxx · 27/06/2011 20:47

Ive generally been really happy with my childminder since she started minding my kids two years ago. But today I collected them and when i got home my youngest's nappy was hanging off him. It felt like it hadnt been changed in hours! I changed his nappy before he left this morning, I would NEVER send them in with a dirty nappy. In his journel it says his nappy was changed at 9am and that it was wet but i had only changed him at 7:45 so he shouldnt have needed a change that early. I collected him at 2:30pm and got home at about 3:30pm so he hadnt been changed 6 hours!! Is it normal not to change a child before collection? Its not the first time it has happened. I know I should of mentioned it before but as it wasnt happening all the time i didnt. But i was a bit pissed off with it today.

I hate confrontation and we have become quite good friends, we often meet on our days off with the kids so it is a bit awkward.

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Rosebud05 · 27/06/2011 20:51

It doesn't have to be awkward, especially if you provide nappies. Just say that ds's nappy was very wet when you picked him up and you noticed that it hadn't been changed since 9am so would CM mind changing him after lunch or whatever suits you. She probably just forget and/or had no idea of what your expectations were about changing nappies.

It's lovely that you've become friends, but the CM aspect is a business relationship and it's important that you both feel able to bring stuff up.

BoysAreLikeDogs · 27/06/2011 20:57

yikes !

I change after a poo of course, and after morning snack, lunch and afternoon snack, and when needed in between as well (some folk might at the frequency but shrug)

You could say something like ''do I need to put more nappies in his bag/give you more to put in your changing cupboard?''

Bit awful to have a wet soggy nappy, not meeting the child's needs

Perhaps they had a really busy day, out to the park all morning, picnic lunch then belted back for pick-up? [looking for excuses]

thebody · 27/06/2011 20:59

hi I am a cm.. i change nappies as soon as they are dirty.. for going home i always establish if parents bath their baby before bed.. if so then i wouldnt change a normal wet one unless really wet or child was sore.. this is to save parents money...

some parents though want child all ready for bed at collection and bath in the morning so in that case i change for collection..

was your child sore??? if yes then thats a problem if no then its not is it??

i have to say i never have mums as 'good friends' i would find that wierd... i have friends and i have work contacts(parents).

also i would never write nappy changes in my daily diary??? how boring .. lots more interesting things to include..

Flisspaps · 27/06/2011 20:59

Depends entirely on whether or not the mindee needs it. If it's only a bit damp then it seems like a waste of a nappy, but if it's clearly wet (a quick squeeze of the bum as she dashes past works as a check) then I change it.

I'd never leave a child in a dirty nappy for more than a couple of minutes though - wee is one thing but poo is another entirely.

HavePatience · 27/06/2011 20:59

If it was a one off, I'd say it may have been a busy day, she got distracted... Any number of excuses.. But a it's happened before, it is just bad practice. Sorry.
I disagree with rosebud that she just didn't know your expectations for nappy changes.

It seems to me that not waiting 6 hours between nappy changes should be common sense to a cm.
I'm sure she is lovely. But this isn't good practice.

HavePatience · 27/06/2011 21:02

Op Said the nappy was hanging off him. Clearly this is more than just a little wet.

onepieceofcremeegg · 27/06/2011 21:03

I think cms can't win sometimes, which is why clear communication is the key (imo)

Some parents (and some cms) like to change nappies really frequently, every couple of hours plus after poos from what I read on here. Other people let the dcs go for hours, if they are "just" wet.

If the parents and cms happen to be of the same "school" of nappy changing, all is well. If not, then the cm can be accused of either wantonly wasting nappies (changing every 2 hours or so) or almost neglecting the child by leaving them for 5 hours in a wet nappy.

OP, just take into consideration that children tend to drink significantly more in hot weather. Possibly your ds was fairly dry 10 minutes before you arrived. Then he may have done a big wee literally moments before you arrived.

sandym3g · 27/06/2011 21:07

We had a text off a mum of one of our mindees once. "when did you last change nappy as it hit the floor with a thud" My DH (also a CM) phoned her and apologised that he hadn't had chance to change the nappy. It made us think and realise that we have to make time for nappy changing. Even when sleep gets in the way. I'm not saying it's an excuse as not having time because you can always make time.

I would just say that the nappy was hanging off him last night. He looked like he was in a western or something. Just make light of it. If you really are good friends as you say you are then the CM will be more vigilant and make time for the nappy. It will improve your childs care and relationship with the CM.

HSMM · 27/06/2011 21:10

I don't routinely change children before they go home, but I do change poo's immediately and change all the children after lunch. I check when I am playing with them throughout the day, to see if their nappy seems heavy/squishy and I would change it. I also change the children coming up to potty training as soon as they say they have done a wee, because it helps with their training.

Having said that ... I am always amazed how a nappy that was stone dry a couple of minutes ago, suddenly seems to be carrying about a pint of wee, as if they were just waiting for a fresh nappy to wee in!

Just talk to your CM. Open discussion is always the best way forwards.

HavePatience · 27/06/2011 21:11

Wow I'm surprised anyone Would leave a child in a disposable nappy for 5+ hours during the day
I used disposable nappies, but I'm aware of the stuff in them and I certainly wouldn't want my DS in a soggy nappy. It's enough that it was on so long overnight. Not to mention how uncomfortable it must be. Yuck
There are people who are ok with that
Ok.. Well, I learn something new everyday!

HavePatience · 27/06/2011 21:13

Sorry not on this thread. On MN.

Original poster

BoysRusxxx · 27/06/2011 21:14

It really wasnt just wet, it was bulging, you know when it is literally FULL!!

He didnt have a rash but then again he is not a real nappy rash kind of baby, he VERY rarely has nappy rash, hes maybe had it three times in his life.

Rosebud, your right, it actually doesnt have to be confrontational. Ill say exactly what you have told me to say

Thebody, I am starting tp regret becoming 'friends' with her tbh.

My DC will be finishing up with her soon enough anyway for other reasons so it wont be an issue anymore.

OP posts:

thebody · 27/06/2011 21:17

poos at once.. and if child has been sore.. very frequently and cream..

if you put your hand on a really wet nappy(good quality)it can still be dry near childs bottom...

as i said before know your parents.. know their routine..

Original poster

BoysRusxxx · 27/06/2011 21:20

Sorry X-posted with a few of you.

Sandy, it was that, it hit the floor with a thud!

I mean, were all human, There have been days I have been out with the kids and literally just forgot to change ds for hours but im paying her to look after him and i know she wasnt out for the day so theres no excuse really. If it was the first time i wouldnt mind but its happened a few times now.

OP posts:

PaulaMummyKnowsBest · 27/06/2011 21:56

i am a childminder and i change nappies every 3 - 4 hours if they are only wet. Nappies are changed as soon as they are dirty. If the babies/toddlers have a sore bottom, I change them every 2 hours.

I supply the nappies, that way parents can't complain if I use too many

I write down in the daily diary when nappy changes have occured so that the parents have an idea about how often their child is being changed.

NorthernNanny · 28/06/2011 09:50

Not to change a nappy for 6 hours is complete neglect - by anyone's standards, surely? I change my charge at least 3 times during the day and have a feel shortly before pick up to check that all is fine before MB or DB arrive.

To say 'ah well, if he wasn't rashy then it's not so bad' is ridiculous - so, if LO had developed a rash then there's cause for concern?! but if no then it makes it ok?

Whether she's had a busy day or not nappy changes are a basic requirement and only takes a minute to sort out so I'm afraid I don't buy that one.

However close you are to the childminder outside of working hours you're paying her for a service and it's not the first time it's happened either. You need to have a word with her before she starts taking the piss even more getting used to low standards.

pollywollyhadadollycalledmolly · 28/06/2011 13:29

In general i have found babies/toddlers in my care need changing at about 10, then at about 1, then about 4.

Of course poos can come anytime and really do need changing asap!! I wouldnt fancy hanging around with poo stuck to me for a few hours so dont expect my minded children to have to do the same, and same goes for wees too.

redglow · 28/06/2011 13:51

This is far toolong to leave a wet nappy on. I would never let a child go more than three hours unless they were sleeping. To say he wasnt rashy so not too bad is wrong why should children have to sit in dirty nappies.

HSMM · 28/06/2011 17:11

And have you seen what happens to disposable nappies when they are left wet for too long? All those horrible crystals break out! Even if a parent noticed a wet nappy at pick up time, I would change the nappy for them immediately.

leesax · 28/06/2011 20:28

I tend to check my mindee's just after they arrive ( just because some of my mummies have very busy mornings and so sometimes the lo's may not have been changed since they got up). If it is ok I won't change.

Then I change about 9.30am, 12.30/1pm, 4pm and then about 7.30pm if they are still with me.

If they soil I change straight away.

HavePatience · 28/06/2011 20:43

HSMM - exactly. Not only is it uncomfortable and gross to leave a wet nappy on for that long, it's just not healthy. It only takes a quick google or look at fine print on the nappy package to find out what is in those crystals.

gardenpixies32 · 29/06/2011 07:47

I always try to change nappies 30 minutes - one hour before mindees go home. I change their nappies 3-4 times a day and obviously straight away when dirty. I have one little one that OFTEN dirties a clean nappy within minutes of me changing him!

I wouldnt let my own children sit in a dirty nappy for hours so the same would apply for me to any child I care for.

ElizabethDarcy · 29/06/2011 09:00

I use 4 nappies a day per child generally, they drink loads of water here... never have parents complain I change too often..? 6 hours is way too long... I would always mention it, whether it happened once, or more. That's what a CM is there for. The care of the child. It's her job and what's expected of her.

Re being friends with a parent... it can work, we all develop friendships in different ways... depends on the person.

I looked after a little girl for 3 years and her mum became (and still is) a close friend. We kept things professional always as far as her child's care was concerned when I was her CM. But after contracted hours, her child was her concern and my CM hat came off easily.

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