Nanny is now trying to un-resign!

[BoffinMum]

So my nanny has now had a big chat with me and told us we are so nice to work for that she is not sure she wants to leave ... but there is all sorts of stuff going on in her head and she wants a few months off to hang about the local area doing this and that (i.e. not go back to Turkey immediately as planned), then go over to Turkey for a few weeks/months, then at some vague point reappear (probably January).

My response was that this would be very unsettling for us and the children, and temporary help would be ridiculously hard to find around here, and too expensive for us, so we would need a better idea of what was going on in timetable terms.

She still hasn't written me a resignation letter but was supposed to be leaving in late July ... TBH I am starting to feel a bit messed about. Also when she took the job it was supposed to be for two years minimum (not least because the agency fee was over £2000 - she was a bit shocked when it occurred to her we would be shelling out another fee after just over a year. Until that point I don't think that had really occurred to her, or the implications for the kids of her just leaving us hanging).

Anyway, WWYD?

BTW no free nursery places in the neighbourhood, before everyone starts suggesting things like that, apart from one or two places I wouldn't send a pet dog, let alone my DS.

Well, if she leaves for an indeterminate period, that is still going to cause you all sorts of problems at work, isn't it? I must say that I can't think of a single reason why it would be in your interest to agree to this and quite a lot of reasons not to agree, of which the difficulty of finding a temp for an indeterminate period would probably be at the top of my list.
I had a slightly similar situation, with an excellent nanny, who took a month of unpaid, unauthorized leave to go to her home country, I let her because she seemed close to a nervous breakdown, she came back, assured me that she was fine, this wasn't going to happen ever again, then five weeks later she was in a complete state again, went home and then a few weeks later more or less asked for a job back on a temp basis so she could come back to her boyfriend who was still working here. I refused, not least because I didn't want to send a message to my DD that it's ok to just abandon people and commitments because it is clear that you can always go back. Harsh perhaps, but I was really very cross. And my position is different to yours because my DD is older than I remember your kids are and so, during the school term at least, we don't really need a nanny anymore.

When you last posted on this, you were about ready to jack in your job because you felt that all the childcare hassles just weren't worth it. Have you had any further thoughts on this since?

so nanny wants to basically to fuck off home for a few months while trying to sort out her head but wants you to keep her job open

part of me says agree as you like her/kids like her and easier to get maybe a temp in for say 3mths - even if a bad temp its not permanent

other part of me tells her to sling her hook, she resigned, she sounds as if she is unreliable and look for someone new

but we all know how hard that was for you the first time

'blondes bangs her head'

dont know boffy - sorry :(

But what about the teenager issue?

If she stayed in the local area where would she stay? Surely you would need her room for her replacement?

Maybe negotiate that she could have the summer as an extended (unpaid) break when it would be easier for you to find a replacement and she comes back in September on the understanding she stays until January with a review at the half term.

She does sound a bit of a mess tbh bit maybe it's just a blip. She was so good in the beginning, or so you told us , that it might be worth letting her work through whatever is bothering her.

OK, another long chat. She's going to have the week's paid leave owing to her at the end of July, which was arranged anyway, and then some unpaid leave for the whole of August and the first week of September, and then come back. We're going to review the whole thing after DS3's 3rd birthday in spring 2012, as he'll be getting nursery vouchers then anyway, and he'll be out for 15 hours a week, plus childcare is a bit easier to find for over 2s anyway. Plus I am going to lay on some training from Eden or Graycoat or something so they help do a bit of a performance review with her, and give her some help raising her game to the next level, which will hopefully in turn improve long term motivation and her ambition to finish her Level 3, which has withered a bit lately (she was very keen and self-starting before).

If this works, brilliant. If not, I am going to seriously review options and probably resign.

She has apologised for messing me about and said that she was being a wimp over the teenager thing, she understands that now (I agree to a large extent actually. He's really not that bad, a bit annoying but less so than many at that age). I think this is where training will help the most in helping her to get her mojo back.

I suppose another option would be to find a wife. Any offers?

She'd better get her skates on with the level 3 unless she's doing the new diploma. Otherwise she risks never being able to finish it!

Glad you've managed to come to some agreement. It would be such a shame if you had to resign. Obviously if you want to that's all well and good but it's not nice being held over a barrell by childcare.

How long has she got to finish the Level 3 then?

That depends what she's doing. Whatever it is that replaces the NDAQ will be able to tell you the last possible awarding date.

It's all part of the grand diploma switchover. Most existing qualifications closed to new registrations in December, historically there's a 2 year period after you register to complete so last possible award date would be Dec 2012 which means submission summer 2012 to be safe. In theory. But working FT and fitting in assessors visits if necessary can make it difficult to complete on a tight timescale.

Some are 2013 though (I think).