Inviting nanny to DD's party

[azazello]

We have a lovely, gorgeous wonderful, nanny who brings her own child. DD's birthday is coming up and our nanny is helping by sorting out a bouncy castle and giving me lots of details of local contacts for games / cake etc.

I was planning that DD's party will be school friends and that I might do something seperate for our huge extended family but haven't really thought about it yet. Should I invite nanny's DC to DD's party? Is it unfair as DD goes to school in a different area and is slightly older (DD -reception, nanny's child - pre-school)? Should I try and sort out a nice day out for everyone afte the party?

I feel a bit uncomfortable about not inviting the nanny as she is being so helpful with the organisation and I like her and her family a lot but just wonder if it would be weird with everyone else knowing each other...

What's the norm?

I would as nanny be a bit miffed if I wasn't invited to a charge's birthday party... especially one I had input in organising and if my child were a friend of the charge... I have always been close to my charges and their families and really felt 'part of the family' (as much as an employee could) and would feel shunned if I were excluded from seeing my charge enjoying her birthday party.
I think as an adult nanny should be capable of dealing with a room full of strange people and her pre-school dd won't care that she doesn't know anyone. She may even offer to help you out

But its your party and you can invite who you like!

Thank you. I would very much like not to upset our nanny! Would it be worth inviting some other out of school friends as well to break up the group a bit?

I am always invited for my charges' party but I never go :). The invitation is a nice gesture but I have only the weekend for myself and for my partner, I treasure that. My bosses understand that but they still invite me every year.

I would invite her to the party.
It is then up to her if she accepts or not.
I would not invite any others specifically for her though.

Also reminds me of a time when i was a nanny.
It was the little girls first birthday. I had prepared everything for the party, including making the cake.
The mum sat there all afternoon taking compliments from her NCT friends about what a great spread it was, and how did she find the time etc.
I went home fuming that day.:)

But it's not really the nanny you're inviting, is it? It's your nanny's child, who your DD spends a lot of time with.

I invited my CM and her child to my DS's party. He attended and I made sure I spent time introducing them and making sure they were ok as they didn't know anyone else there (and made sure CM's son sat near my younger DS whose party it wasn't). (She also invited us to her DS's party, and it was fun for my DSs even though they didn't know anyone else there, because she too had mixed it up a bit).

I think it would be nice to invite a few non school children to break it up a bit, that would be thoughtful, and these opportunities also give your DD a chance to have a wider circle of friends rather than just the school ones. (Which could be very valuable if she ever falls out with school friends!)

i would invite your nanny,as she brings her dc with her so your dc and hers must play a lot of the time - tho obviously if your dc's school friends are there, sure your dc will spend more time playing with them

but with a bouncy castle everyone can enjoy

I would invite her, especially as she's helped organise things. I am a nanny with own child and if your dd is anything like my charges, she will be talking about having a party all the time to anyone who will listen and your nanny's child will be well aware of it. I wouldn't worry about any age gap either. Young children are very adaptable, and if there's only about a year between them it really wont matter.

Thanks all. I will invite our nanny's DD and our nanny to come too. Glad I asked - I really wouldn't have wanted to upset her or her DD.