Nanny with poorly child WWYD

[azazello]

I work 3 days per week and have a nanny who looks after DS 15mo and DD nearly 4. DD is at pre-school in the morning but the nanny fetches her, gives her lunch etc. The nanny also has 2 children of her own - 7 & 9.

Since I have been back at work from ML 4 months ago, the nanny has had 4 days emergency leave to look after her children when they have been ill - all D&V/ coldy type things.

DH and I have been able to cover it so far with parental leave but it is getting to be a problem especially as I als have to cover when my children are not well as they a bit little to be left with anyone else. She has a DH and local family but doesn't seem to be asking them if they can help at all.

Also, I'm not able to take the leave as holiday and from now on will either have to take it as unpaid or pay for an emergency nanny. Can I require the nanny to take unpaid leave in this situation? I;ve checked the contract (nanny tax standard) and it doesn't deal with this situation. Any advice welcome.

Nanny would be using their annual leave to cover that sort of thing I would have thought.

Don't think you can force your nanny to use their family but your nanny is taking quite a bit of time off, which does need talking about.

Your nanny needs to realise that if you don't go to work, then their job is at risk. Working parents often find it hard to deal with sick children - family needs to pull together. Nannies DH could care for the sick child, couldn't he?

If nanny considers herself primary carer then you can't stop her taking the time off. But you certainly don't have to pay for it. I would tell her that she either takes these days unpaid in future or takes them from her holiday allowance. I would be careful about turning it into an issue though - because she is as protected from discrimination in her job as we are in our own jobs.

FWIW I think she is taking the p, and she will soon stop when she runs out of money/holiday. I also think, by the way, that you would find it easier if you stopped taking time off when your own children are ill - they are old enough to be cared for by a nanny.

Thanks both, that is very helpful. I think I wouldn't mind so much if I thought she'd asked her family/ DH to see if they could help but I get the impression it is a bit of an automatic thing to stay in.

I think I will ask her to take any future as unpaid leave as I can't take holiday without giving notice to my boss and checking with the rest of the team at work.

On the plus side, my DCs both love her and she is very good with them.

I realise a bit late now - but info for anyone else that may employ a nanny with own child - is to ask at interview if they have thought about what they would do if their own child is ill - and if they have any care to fall back on so that they can work.

As a parent I think most companies policies state that emergency parental leave for a childs sickness is only until you have arranged alternative care - ie. if your child has chickenpox then you can take time off for a day or two, but need to make other arrangements for longer term.

Have you been paying her so far for those days?

I have been paying so far, although it was 2 days at the beginning of October and then 2 days this week so the pay hasn't been done for this month yet. I probably ought to warn her first though before stopping this pay.

I did mention it at interview and thought it would be okay. She used to be a CM so had references etc which said she hadn't taken any time off sick or for sick children in 5 years and she said she'd expect to see if someone else in her family could take them on before taking the day off. I just think now its come to it that her staying at home with them is kind of the default option.

with coldy type things - could the kids come to yours and be cared with your children - she will be caryring the germs anyway - although don't get why the kids are off school with coldy type things.

It's a shame it's turned out like this. At interview it sounds like it wouldn't have been an issue.

Hopefully not being paid will make difference to the situation and she will ask her family for help if her children are ill.

Thanks. I really don't mind having her children round to me, they come in the afternoon after school anyway and are absolutely lovely.

I will let her know that any more non-holiday leave will be unpaid and see if that sorts everything out.

we had a similar situation - the first time it happened we didn't even think about not paying as it seemed mean but there came a point when it was seriously inconvenient to have to keep covering for her and at that point we also resented the cost. we spoke to our nanny and explained that we had run out of holiday and goodwill at work and that any subsequent absence would need to be covered by a temp and if we had to pay a temp we couldn't also afford to pay her. we made clear we were happy for her poorly child to come to our house - we'd take the risk of our children catching it - and she was welcome to put them to bed in the spare room if they needed to sleep. after this conversation it never seemed to be an issue again - her child was never too sick for her to come to work. i think she had just never thought about it from our point of view and was doing what was best for her child each time - which i completely understand but, when you are employed (and paid) you do need to think of other things as well.

this should have been put into the contract,so in black and white to save this kind of confusion

nanny can use it up as her sick leave (if has it at full pay) or use as holiday or unpaid

tho even if uses as the above, you still need to find a nanny to help you

what i dont understand if why you are employing a nanny but look after the children yourself if they are ill

thats the main plus of a nanny, that they will look after your ill children compared to a cm or nursery

Thanks again. Very helpful advice. I'm going to talk to the nanny and suggest we just take our chances with catching it.

I've been looking after the children (well, the baby really) when he's had a D & V bug because I didn't want it to be passed on - partly so we wouldn't have this problem. I have no problem with sending them with coughs and colds and things, but am waiting for the chicken pox type things which we might need to talk about. Would it be okay to expect a nanny to look after an infectious mindee? Does it make a difference if she has DCs of her own?

I'm a nanny with own child and made sure I made arrangements before I started with my current family for ds should he fall sick. It's happened a couple of times so far but I've yet to need a day of work for him being sick. My employers are either ok for me to bring him since the chances are whatever bug he has is already circulating round the family, or I've arranged a family memeber to have him.
I'm quite happy to look after my charges when they're sick too for the same reasons. By the time they're showing sickness the chances are the bug has already been passed onto me/ds. Mind you, as I write this I'm currently curled up on the sofa feeling like poo with a horrendous cold I've caught off one of my charges so I might change my mind about that