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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

Original poster

when did your sex drive return?

19 replies

missytequila · 16/05/2010 22:08

I gave birth 6 weeks ago. I have had sex a few times which have been disappointing, kind of sore still down there.

I know that this will feel better after time, but I am more concerned about my total lack of drive. I don't really have any interest in sex at all...its freaking me out as I wanted it 2 times a day before giving birth.

Is it normal to lose so much interest? When does the desire come back? When will I find my husband sexy again?

OP posts:
minxofmancunia · 16/05/2010 22:18

v v v normal so don't stress yourself out about it, you have enough to do and think about.

i didn't feel like it until I stopped breastfeeding with both of mine. I tried to force myself to do it a few times as i wanted to but didn't enjoy it at all. Do it when you feel like it. aside from looking after your baby (congratulations btw!) the most important thing is looking after yourself which includes not putting pressure on yourself and taking each day as it comes.

it will come back in time I promise!

herethereandeverywhere · 16/05/2010 22:23

I'm 7 months post birth and still not an inkling. Haven't had sex for over a year, have no desire to do so (the thought makes me feel sick). Gave up breastfeeding 3 weeks ago so am waiting to see if I feel different sometime soon.

So, by comparison you're doing very very well!

tryingtobemarrypoppins2 · 16/05/2010 22:28

I am never having sex ever again!

weegiemum · 16/05/2010 22:32

If you have even had sex "several" times you are doing pretty well.

Bumbleconfusus · 17/05/2010 09:23

I stopped feeling sore at 8 weeks and got my sex drive back at about 12 weeks (whilst fully breastfeeding), which seemed to pretty much coincide with DD starting to sleep through whole nights (7 hours) so I felt alot less tired. Do you think it might just be because you are too tired? I felt like the last thing I wanted to do was have sex after I'd finally manage to get DD to settle to sleep, I really just wanted to sleep too.

LadyintheRadiator · 17/05/2010 09:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Fibilou · 17/05/2010 09:29

still hasnt (dd is 14wks

YunoYurbubson · 17/05/2010 09:31

Oh God, 2 years and waiting...

nunnie · 17/05/2010 10:37

I didn't even contemplate it until after 4 months tbh, couldn't face it. Also DD was in a moses basket next to the bed, and it just didn't feel right until she was in her own room.
After that was back to normal sex drive. Don't worry it is perfectly normal you have alot to get use to.

whoodoo · 17/05/2010 11:14

when I stopped BF - not until then and even not as much after as just so bloody knackered after a day at work, two toddlers and all the washing etc.

Xavielli · 17/05/2010 13:40

After DS - 3 days
After DD - About 6months I think, but I had PND and quite a few relationship issues so maybe not the best one to judge on...

FrazzleRock · 17/05/2010 13:43

two years later when we wanted a 2nd baby

FrazzleRock · 17/05/2010 20:41

I'll get my coat

GwennieF · 17/05/2010 21:22

For me it was about 3-4 months after DS's birth. It wasn't that I didn't fancy DH, but I was knackered, my boobs were in tatters, my belly was like a deflated spacehopper - in short, I did NOT feel sexy! The fact that I also started dripping milk onto him when I started feeling fruity didn't help - he wasn't bothered, but I thought it was gross! Sorry if that's TMI...

Original poster
missytequila · 17/05/2010 21:38

I agree gweenie.. the tender dripping nipples is such a turn off.

and yes I am tired... but i have been tired before baby and still wanted sex. I saw the gp today and she said i was doing well to have even attempted sex this early and that my drive will return.

i guess i was ready for the adjustment of having baby but not losing the sex drive...it has always been my biggest fear, being a boring married couple who never has sex

i guess i will just hope it returns sooner rather than later

OP posts:
KickArseQueen · 17/05/2010 21:51

2 weeks after no4.

Being tired all the time is a sex drive killer imo.

But ladies! ffs! Dripping milk really should not be a problem between you and your man! You are the main event and the refreshments in one super sexy bald tiger(stretch marked ) striped package!

get over it and laugh!

anonymousbird · 17/05/2010 21:54

Completely normal.
Don't rush it. 6 weeks is early doors...

gingerkirsty · 17/05/2010 22:04

Hello, we still haven't and DD is 3 mths old today. I was wondering about it this morning and found this on the NCT website - very useful and reassuring I thought. Just go with what you feel and as an aside I wouldn't do it if you don't enjoy it if I were you, that can only end in bad feeling.

gingerkirsty · 17/05/2010 22:05

Hello, we still haven't and DD is 3 mths old today. I was wondering about it this morning and found this on the NCT website - very useful and reassuring I thought. Just go with what you feel and as an aside I wouldn't do it if you don't enjoy it if I were you, that can only end in bad feeling.

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