Still losing lochia 4 weeks on..when can I "resume normal service"

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so after a total sex ban during pregnancy, because of complications..DH and I are keen to get back in the saddle..but Im still losing a bit of lochia..like the tail end of a period which gets a bit heavier after feeds...is it safe whilst still losing a little? or have I got to wait for it to stop completely?
DD is 4 weeks and tbh with the others Id stopped bleeding by now

I can't honestly imagine wanting to have sex 4 weeks post birth.

But I think you really need to wait until all of the bleeding has stopped.

Eglu...with my DS..I couldnt face it for months as he was 9lb 7, shoulders got stuck and I had a third degree tear..but this time..not even a stitch so I feel quite good down there

I'd check with your MW or GP, but my gut feel is to wait till bleeding has stopped. If you're still bleeding it suggests (to me as a lay person) there's still a little bit of healing to do at the placental site, which would make you more susceptible to an infection. If you do decide to go for it, make sure you use a condom to minimise the risk.

As an aside, are you still getting cramps at all? After DD2 I didn't realy stop bleeding and kept on having cramps from time to time for over a month - the general view seemed to be that there was probably a small fragment of placenta/membrane to pass and gave me prophylactic ABs to reduce the risk of infection in the mean time. About a week later I passed another clot and things got back to normal shortly afterwards. Till my period started 3 days later

Tangle..might ask the HV ..as MW has discharged me and Id have to make a GP appt..but I think you are right in that Im obviously not healed..Im not having cramps but have noticed that occasionally Im still passing the odd clot..and its obviously heavier after a feed...I dont remember bleeding so long with the others

my post natal check isnt until 8 weeks

With DD1 I'd stopped completely before my MW's discharged me at 4 weeks, and the last couple of weeks had been very light and turning very pale and brown. If you're still having fresh blood it suggests something isn't quite right yet.

I'd make a GP appointment, TBH. I'd lay money that's all your HV will tell you to do. Or you could call the labour ward - if your DD is only 4 weeks they should still be happy to advise. But my guess would be they'll either send you to your GP or give you a time frame to within which it should stop (or you should see your GP...)

Thanks tangle..will pop along and see the gp

madamdeathstare..mine keeps waxing and waning..so it will tail off, go brown, then red again..need to as yiu suggest..do fun stuff but no full on sex