To stitch or not to stitch?

[spidermama]

I've had four home births and four tears. Each time I didn't want stitches. I was assured they'd heal on their own and knit back together, but they didn't heal very well at all. Now I'm wondering about surgery because I don't want to risk being incontinent when I'm old. Has anyone had stitches and been glad? Or regretted it? Or has anyone had or is considering re-fashioning?

i was really scared of tearing and having stitches.

i did tear, and i did have stitches. and they were fine! am back to normal now!

I won't go into details but am not mad about my first lot of stitching (put frankly, I think there's a small area of skin which has lost sensation - it's not the end of the world but I'd slightly rather it hadn't happened); that was pretty inevitable, though, brutal episiotomy for a ventouse delivery.

I too had a home birth second time, and I tore quite badly and I had stitches. At the time I wasn't keen - they got a bit infected, as stitches in your fanny tend to do especially when you're bleeding - but I do think that again was the right tack to take, as the tear was just that bit too deep.

Regrets? Well, I'd rather not have had to have them. I'm sure my top-shelf career is gone forever. But I wouldn't consider refashioning, no.

i had a lot of stitches with dd1, had no bother at all, not even a bit apart from uncomfortable for a couple of days. and there was a lot, from a tear, rather difficult the mw said if i remember correctly. also had a massive haematoma under them, no probs at all in the end

ooh nailpolish i had haematoma too! had to be rushed to theatre ER stylee!

ill never forgot the physio turning up with a little machine with tub of gel that was fresh out of the fridge FREEZING cold, the machine was a vibrating one to disperse the haematoma...

oh the ecstasy of the vibration and freezing cold gel on my sore bits...

aaah - sinking into the chair just thinking about it - i nearly kissed her i did

I wouldn't consider re-fashioning for cosmetic reasons but more due to ... ahem ... gaping nature of my bits. I'm normally very anti intervention but what, exactly, are the risks involved with re-fashioning?

I had stitches after tearing when having DS1 and found it very traumatic. It took ages for them to come out afterwards and just made me feel utterly grossed out (but I am very squeamish).

I tore when I had DS2 and asked the midwife if I could not have stitches, and she was happy for me to heal on my own. I healed much quicker that time and was psychologically fine about the whole thing.

That's interesting. A friend of mine had stitches, they were too tight, had to go for surgery 18 months down the line to have the whole thing loosened up again. I have the opposite problem but still don't know if it's worth the bother having surgery.

My friend was stitched after first...felt terrible and to be blunt thought they had done it too tight.Had a second and tore badly stitched again and agony. Did not let dh near her as pain was so great and this was six months later. The one time she succumbed and braved intimacy...you guessed it she fell pregnant ( two very young babies already) After the delivery they were about to stitch her and she said 'No - I want the top dog' got consultant after a wait and battle - he stitched her and she describes it as good as new! A happy ending

mine was one long stitch. dissolvable, so no need to have it taken out... was absolutely fine!

I tore slightly but requested not to be stitched and was fine.

A friend of mine had an episiotomy and was stitched. She went to the GP after 9 months as it didn't feel right, eventually she was referred and had it all re done a couple of weeks ago. She is much happier now, as she feels that it is done properly!

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