Sex still painful 14 months after 3rd degree tear

[Jaen]

I am desperate for advice and any light at the end of this dark road.
In brief had a 3rd degree tear, got steadily worse as days went by and developed an infection, ended up back in hospital for surgery to repair two months later. Terrible pain for one week after surgery - pain specialist had to be called and increased meds. Was farther two months before i was back to 'normal'
The problem now is that over a year later sex is still really painful. I've been back to consultant and she found area which she reckons is scar tissue - smears are agony for example and she found area easily on one side of birth canal a little way in.
She has offered option of steroid injection under ga but no guarantee will work and then no other solution.
Has anyone been through this? Is there any hope?

Hi Jaen, I really really understand. And others will be along soon enough too!

Cortisone injections hurt. I won't lie to you, but they can really work too. THey dissolve a lot of the scar tissue. Failing that you could have a Fenton's Procedure, where they divide the scar tissues in the perineum to soften it up then restitch you.

For more info check out an old thread I was on you'll see you're not alone on here, and also hopefully get some tips.

Chin up, you wil get there.

Thank you so so much for your response. I can't begin to tell you how this has helped me and wonder why i haven't tried something like this before now! Of course it can be hard to talk about but its a great comfort to hear your not alone and that there is hope.

I read through some of the other posts you referred me to so i see you have been through the wars yourself as have others and are coming out the other side.

The whole thing makes me so sad as well as so angry for all of us that have to go through this - i truly believe that negligence was the cause of my own 3rd degree damage, followed by a nightmare and botched repair that in turn landed me back in hospital for surgery and yet more pain.

I was wondering about having the steroid/cortisone injection under ga what kind of pain would i be in when i wake and for how long afterwards do you think?
I wasn't at all prepared for the pain following the repair surgery - to remove infection, redo stitches and repair pelvic floor. Aside from myself i'm not sure how much more my family can take either.

Sorry about the rant!

Rant away

It's just awful. You will get through it though, and take all the support you can because it can make you feel very alone. You'll find a few on here who have been through similar who can support you. Just give them time to find the thread.

Post repair surgery was pretty scary for me too, I remember looking like I'd been beaten up down there.. But two years on I have had another child (c/s obviously as the reapir took away the necessary stretch for birth),and even have sex once in a while when I'm not so knackered I can barely speak

You have to be prepared to fight for what you need, and reading that thread I recommendeded, and asking others on here will give you clues as to what help or procedures, you aren't being offered.

I wasn't given the option of a GA with the cortisone injections. I did ask for a pre-med or valium, but again didn't get it; they said the anaesthetic was in the injection - but it takes half an hour to kick in (and then covers you for about 12 hours) and it's obviously the injection itself you don't want to feel! I would ask your GP to prescribe something in advance, which is what I should have done. Also check out my comments on Instillagel as a tube of that administered before you go might help to numb a bit too.
It is painful to have done, but it dissolved a lot of scar tissue for me. Unfortunately I just had too much hence the Fenton's.

I so understand what a dark place you must be feeling in right now and am welling up now remembering my own problems, but try your hardest not to let it in to your head and stay purposeful, you will be better. Maybe not as perfect as before but I know that feeling of being "ruined" down there and it's honestly not like that for me anymore.

Anything else you want to ask or talk about I'm here.

p.s. ask your GP about any counselling available. I found it really helped me to come to terms with my PTSD from the birth and traumas following.