Emergency childcare falls through when you're in labour, so what happens if you load other dcs into car?

[NigellaTufnel]

Am 37 weeks pregnant, and have ds who is 2.5.

We have the in laws coming this weekend just for a couple of nights, and then three days before due date to whenever the dc2 comes.

But am in a bit of a panic of what to do with ds if we have no one here when labour starts, especially if it's in the middle of the night. It will take the inlaws about 2.5 hours to get to us.

We moved not so long ago so don't really know anyone very well. There is a really nice woman across the road, who has volunteered to help out in an emergency, but what if we need to leave for the hospital at 2am? (Initial labour with ds was very speedy) and we can't get hold of her?

Has anyone had to take older dcs into hospital until reinforcements arrive? what happened?

I'm going to raise this with MW but was just after anyone else's experiences.

Grab her at 2 am. Honestly. She'll be wildly excited and happy to help -- once she's woken up!

I've been on both ends of this situation (though I did hang on till 4 a.m., and DS was born almost on arrival at the hospital).

We also had a friend's baby in the night 'just till the inlaws get here' -- which was a whole day later. We were ridiculously thrilled to help.

My DCs are 10 and 6 and we don't have anyone close by that I would feel comfortable turning to in scenario of 2am delivery unit dash either! Fortunately for me (with this scenario) I am being booked for a medical C/S BUT I was thinking along the lines of if push comes to shove, DH will have to take me to hospital, with DCs in tow and basically leave me to the medics, going back home himself to look after the kids. Kids in a waiting room at those kind of hours would undoubtedly be a nightmare and you really don't know how long you're going to be do you?

so - not much advice, but sympathies...

I was under the impression that a child wouldn't be allowed into the delivery suite so your DH would have to stay outside with them.

my mum was in a hotel nearby

i went off in an ambulance whilst dh delivered ds to my mum

he got to the hospital half an hour after dd arrived

was easier without him tbh, a few pushes and out she came

No advice I'm afraid but in similar situation so sending vibes of empathy! Am 38w with 2 DCs already (4 and 2) and both my mum + in-laws 2.5 hours away. Again, local friends have offered to help, and we're pretty much covered for daytime help, but I'm still feeling a bit nervous about actually waking anyone up if it all kicks off in middle of night (even though a couple have insisted I should - still feels like such an imposition!). If it does happen at night, depending on timing + speed things are progressing I will either try and hang on till a respectable hour (say, 7am?), get a taxi (hospital about 25 mins away) or we'll bundle the kids into the car then DH will bring them back and wait for reinforcements. Either of the latter options means he is likely to miss the birth if it all happens quickly, which makes me ... Am just going to keep fingers crossed that it happens at a suitably convenient time! Sorry, useless post, but just wanted to say I share your concerns...

Oh Good God no, not a habit! not after this pregnancy.

Thanks so much everyone, and of course, I would be really happy to do it for anyone else.

And it's good to know that I'm not the only one in this boat. (Bit of a bugger for those of you sharing it with me though!)

I have same issue - have cover for daytime but late at night could be very tricky. Sister 2 hours away, MIL ditto, and rather poorly anyway, and BFs on their own with young children anyway, so they would have their own childcare issues! Also, have noticed that labour/delivery wards not allowing children at all to visit due to fears of swine flu. At a recent 'scare' DH and dd had to drop me & overnight bag at entrance to Mat unit.
Am planning the following -
start labour around 6am
drop dd off at nursery after brekky
drive to mat unit with DH and perfectly equipped hozzy bag
have db2 shortly after lunch
be discharged two hours later
pick dd up from nursery
all be home in time for tea

I have helped someone out like this. They had moved from abroad and met me on mumsnet, didn't know anyone. I didn't mind in the slightest.
She rang me at 4am and again at 5am. I went to her house, slept in spare room for a bit then got up with her son. Took him back to my house, had him whole day and then took him home, put him to bed and another friend took over at that point. I don't think she thought she would be in labour so long!
It was a pleasure to do it and we became great friends. I'm in similar situation now (also history of very quick labour) but unfortunately she's moved back home again!
Please don't be afraid to ask the lady across the road. People don't offer if they don't mean to help. You could get her a really nice present afterwards. My plan is if we really have to will take DD with us to the hospital and local friends or grandparents (1.5hours away) will pick her up from there.

We had to take DD2 with us to the hospital to get checked out, then I was heading home for a home birth, then chickened out
Anyway the nurses went mad and insisted DH "get her out of here" so she was taken to the neighbours where she howled for 16 hours until I got home with DC3

I can honestly say that in a situation like this (or any other requiring childcare due to admittance to hospital) that I would look after anyones children. I would be happy to help for a few hours or a few days. Ask the lady across the road... time of day doesn't really matter in such cases.

My friend laboured on her own while husband and child ate crisps in the waiting room. Luckily it was only 6 hours and she is very tough. I don't think she really wanted him there anyway.. ALternative, why not tried Homestart. They may have a volunteer who lives nearby who would be prepared to help if needed?

tbh I am more worried about how dd will take being dumped somewhere (cf 16hrs of howlign scenario) than about imposing on friends/neighbours...

current plan (like mylovelymonster ):
go into labour about 1am
my dad puts his foot down on the motorway and is here in 90min
we leave for hospital (dd still asleep)
speedy birth as per first time
evryone home in time for breakfast

yeah right
knowing our luck it'll be 4pm ie an hour before nursery pickup, rush hour, roadworks on the M25 and a ghastly protracted labour

we shall see...

Best of luck with The Plan, MrsB!!

Was in exactly the same situation - parents 2hrs away and we'd just moved house so knew no-one well enough. Had pre-arranged for nursery to take DS whenever I went into labout even if it wans't his nursery days, but DD decided to arrive in the night! We woke DS at midnight, packed a huge bag full of toys and snacks and he came with to the hospital-had called parents but by the time they arrived DD was already born-DS had been allowed into the delivery suite until things got really serious then a nice student midwife took him into a side room and tucked him up in bed, keeping an eye on him from the nurse's station. It wasn't ideal but at the end of the day they understood and realised that DH would miss the birth if they didn't help us out a bit. It's certainly not an unusal situation.
I have also done the dashing round to look after a friend's child in the night when she went into labour and hadn't known her long - was delighted she asked as I remembered how difficult it had been !

could you put a call out for local mumsnetters? if you're near me i'm happy to be your emergency childcare.

We had the exact same thing - I went into labour with ds2 in the afternoon - rang my parents who are 1.5 hours away - they immediately set off - we went to hosp was 5cm dilated ds1 19 months came into delivery room with us - we were told if things started to get messy they'd take him into another room with student midwifes.... anyway due to rolling stones concert in the local stadium my mum and dads journey took 3.5 hours. I think my body held off til they were here I was fine to chat to them, hand over car seaqt, keys etc - but ds2 was born before they even made it the 20 minute drive to our house!!

Lots of good advice and I have now started to think of a really nice present to give her if she looks after ds. That's a whole new (nice) thread

Can't have a home birth because of complications unfortunately.

My perfect birth would be:

Twinge at 7am as DH is leaving for work. He dashes to my bedside with tea, and rubs my back in sympathy

Get DS to nursery,

Efficient zip up motorway

DIL's drive to pick ds from nursey (it will have to be MIL who drives, as FIL tends to go at around 30 mph and will stop if he sees an interesting bird / plant/ railway / piece of industrial history. MIL drives like the clappers.

Sneeze DC out after 2 hours of gentle pushing and meaningful hand holding with DH, as he tells me he loves me, and that he can is amazed by how wonderful I am, and how he will spend the rest of his life thanking me for giving birth to our children

Back for lunch of prawns, parma ham, and fine red wine.

A woman can dream...

I had same issues with childcare - fine during day, rubbish at night. Went into labour at 6pm, left house just in time to drop DD with PILs so she could sleep the night. DS arrived at 10pm. Back home by 6am so DD hardly even knew we'd left. Arriving home with a baby was a bit of a shock for her though!

I was on standby for a friend recently and was really disappointed when her parents made it in time and I wasn't needed I would take up the offer in an emergency. If you call your family as soon as you can then even if you have a 3 hour labour they'd be there so your DH could be with you for the birth.