Considering homebirth...

[laurawantsababy]

We rent our house from my sister and she has said we cant have a home birth here!!

I am thinking we just do it and tell her we were too late to get to hospital. If no one else knows she cant get funny. Is it easy to hide in the weeks before birth??

My main concern is that with dd I was very loud when giving birth! If I have a late night birth can I still choose to go to hospital for the birth?

What will I need to have ready before the birth?

Any tips? Thanks

Hi I had a home birth with my 2nd, have you told your midwife about your plans? They usually bring a pack before hand,also make sure you have plenty of old towels at hand and maybe some plastic covering for your bed or the floor. Make sure you have a hospital bag packed too just in case, as things don't always go to plan as I found out! Oh and don' worry about the noise! ;)

If you have a thick plastic sheet then a homebirth won't be too messy. Or you can use a large water proof matress protector.

"I am thinking we just do it and tell her we were too late to get to hospital. If no one else knows she cant get funny."

Sounds reasonable

"Is it easy to hide in the weeks before birth??"

yes, just don't show her your medical notes or tell her if the midwife decides to do a home visit to check your house out.

"My main concern is that with dd I was very loud when giving birth! If I have a late night birth can I still choose to go to hospital for the birth?"

You will need someone to look after dd whether the birth is during the day or at night. However second births are often very quick and nowhere near as painful. Also children sleep through quite a lot.

You can choose to go to hospital at any time.

Why is your sister so against it?

Anyway I had my dd at home last year in our rented house. We just didn't tell our landlady - it didn't seem essential to tell her.

As for noise I spent the last 6 hours mooing like a cow and groaning like a demented woman. The little old lady who lives next door subsequently told me she was listening at the wall (joint terrace) and cheering me on !

There was virtually no mess.

It was the best decision I've ever made. Go for it.

I had two of my three at home. The midwives cleared up and took everything away with them, so around an hour after the births there was no sign of the last six hours' struggles!

It's such a long time ago now, 8 years, but I seem to remember having to store pethidine in the fridge, for a couple of weeks so it would be handy if needed. So if your sister's likely to be noseying in there you may have to hide it or have another 'explanation'.

Has she said why she's banned it?

If you have a legal tenancy with your sister then there's bugger all she can do about it anyway. Do you have a proper agreement?

She said she was going to put it in the contract but I think she was joking!! I dont think she really understands what really happens in child birth! She wants to have a private c section if she ever has kids! Shes not very maturnal!!

Dd was only a 2 hour labour, my preferred hospital is a good half hour drive away and dp works an hour away. So it makes sense for us to consider it. My local hospital isn't great but I will go there is need be.

My sister isn't nosy so she wouldn't notice anything here. She doesn't even come round much!

I don't want dp at the actual birth this time but love the idea of dd (who will be 18mo when this baby is born) being very close so she can be a part of the babies new life straight away.

Do I need anyone else there? I would love it to just be me, midwife and dp and dd downstairs.

R

I think it's standard to have two midwives, one for you, one for the baby. And they may ask if a student can sit in, but you can say no to that if you want.

Otherwise you can whoever you want/or don't want there. That's the beauty of being in your own home!

You don't want your DP at the birth???

There is no way you can look after an 18mo by yourself when you give birth, and nor is it the midwives' job. Please tell me that your DP will be there, if not at the business end with you, then at least looking after your daughter?!

And yes, I've had two homebirths

Ah, have just read your post more carefully, that is indeed what you imply. Sorry.

As for your sister, simply stop discussing it with her. It is not her business and is a private decision for you and your dp.

Even if she put it in the contract, what can she do if you break the contract. Such a condition would be completely and utterly unenforcable as its unreasonable especially if its an accidental homebirth. You can ask the homeless charity Shelter.

You really need someone to look after your daughter. It is possible that you might have to go to hospital and it would be horrific if you had to have an instrumental birth/ c section on your own.

Dp will be in the house with dd but not with me giving birth!!!

Thanks for the advice

this is a great site www.homebirth.org.uk/ to check out, am having a homebirth end of April, really excited, still debating whether I want a water birth or not, what about you?

I don't see how your landlord could enforce this, but as she is also your sister there are other issues.

I would probably just not tell her until after the event.

fwiw my labour with ds1 was also 2 hrs.
I planned a homebirth for dc2 as I was worried about getting anywhere else in time - which was justified when ds2 arrived in just under 15mins.