Still angry about labour,anyone else???

[eslaymum]

Just wondered if any Mum's out there are still angry about how their labour was managed?
My dd2 is 30 months now.My waters broke in bed in the middle of the night(1 day before EDD),phoned labour ward & were advised to come in to be checked,which we did.Not alot of movement going on in there,but no contractions.We will have to put you on the ward,as you are not in labour & cannot take up a bed on in the labour suite BUT no men allowed on ward.My husband & I were very upset,but chose to obey the rules & not cause a fuss.He left & to cut a long story short,during the night I was checked on once & brought 2 paracetemols,I prgressed through my labour on my own when at 7am my husband arrived at my bed,I was in agony,soaked in blood & pushing HARD.He had to find a midwife & was taken to labour suite,where they were great & baby was born with no probs.
I realise now I should have put in a complaint(but I just wanted to forget it),but I feel robbed & extremely neglected by midwives & often wish I had done things differently
Anyone else had the same thing happen to them??

My 2nd labour was similar. I was in a bay with 3 other women who weren't in labour. They had their dh's with them and there was no staff to kick them out. One of the men was complaining about the noise I was making during my contractions. I wasn't checked and I couldn't find a mw on the ward for hours. Eventually I got to a labour suite but they were understaffed too but I did have someone for the delivery as dd was born 20 mins after shift change. The worst bit was labouring in front of strange men.

There is a really good thread here about births that have been difficult and traumatic for various reasons. It's good reading and lots of women had had debriefs after the event which have helped www.mumsnet.com/Talk/childbirth/828905-Have-you-had-a-de-brief-after-a-difficult-birth

hi my ds is 17months old now. but my labour was badly managed. my waters broke on the sunday they finally induced me on the thursday. it didnt go well so i begged for an emergency ceserean but they disreguared this and encouraged me to continue trying to have a natural birth against my wishes. the baby went into distress 4 times and i eventually had to be cut from front to back without painrelief there was no time as the baby was in danger. i have overcome postnatal depression brought on by this event but still suffer severe flash backs which has now been diagnosed as post traumatic stress disorder. i have took legal action with my case. if your still feeling this angry its not too late to seek legal advice.

I have asked for a debrief following that thread but for my 3rd birth. With my 2nd I know what went wrong ie understaffing but I can't stop thinking about my 3rd.

Never knew about debriefs.In hindsight(which is a wonderful thing!!!)I wish I had said'do you know that my father-in-law is Chief-exec of this hospitals trust'but am not that type of person.But boy,do I play that one over & over again in my head.
He came to see me quite soon after delivery & they were falling over themselves to make me happy.
Soooooo wish I had said something then too,wish i could just put it behind me & move on!!

You know, for lots of women labour and childbirth is a profound and moving experience that affects them deeply. And it's something they carry with them for the rest of their lives.

For others, it's an event that can be easily left behind.

You must have been really frightened, eslaymum.

Would it help to make a formal complaint?

Even if you decide not to do that, there are people out there to help you.

For example, Birth Trauma Association

Don't struggle by yourself with this anymore.