Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

after birth, do i have to have the midwife/ health visitor in the house?

30 replies

morethanithot · 15/08/2009 20:55

pregnant with second baby, hopefully due soon. thing is i didn't have a good experience with midwives/ health visitors last time, so am very reluctant to allow them to visit me at home. can i stipulate this?
surely there can't be a law that says that i have to allow them into the house? i'm thinking of arranging appointments at the surgery instead.
any experiences/ views welcome please

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

choufleur · 15/08/2009 20:57

I've no idea? what's the difference going to be though if you visit them at the surgery?

littleducks · 15/08/2009 20:59

You dont have to let anyone into your house
You may be able to arrange clinic appointements, probably easier with hvs than mw dependiong upon set up, here the community mws dont have any clinics as such just see pg women in the drs surgery on certain days (thurs at my dr) so would be tricky to arrange if yopu needed another week day

What problems did you have? They visit less for second babies IME (i think i had 1 visit on day of birth and one other)

Spaceman · 15/08/2009 21:00

I'm not sure about where you stand on this. I'm hoping, for the babies' sake (not yours in particular, I mean all babies), that they do have some right to entry. I feel a professional outsider should see where a baby's home is at least once before it is signed off. In fact, I think they should see where the baby sleeps and it's food is kept as well, but they don't. Why are you worried?

Hollyoaks · 15/08/2009 21:01

What if your not up to leaving the house with a newborn to have all those important checks and tests. Is it not easier to try and minimise the visits if your coping ok but keep them at home. maybe try and have some company with you of you can.

SoupDragon · 15/08/2009 21:03

Blimey - why on earth would you want to make life difficult for yourself by ensuring you have to cart yourself, a newborn and (possibly) another child out and about??

Discuss your worries with your midwife and see what she says about ways to get round the problems you had before.

littleducks · 15/08/2009 21:07

I feel a professional outsider should see where a baby's home is at least once before it is signed off. Really?

"food is kept" so i should be showing my hv my breasts???

Original poster

morethanithot · 15/08/2009 21:07

i don't see it as making things difficult, but i was exceedingly patronised the last time, and in one instance, i felt and still feel that i was bullied by the midwife into agreeing an examination i did not need ( checking stitches after the birth). i didn't want to make a fuss then, as i work in health care myself, but it grated continuously.
it is a different area, but i don't want to go through anything similar again.
thanks spaceman, but i don't agree that seeing the sleeping space/ food prep area is any guarantee of parenting or child safety.

OP posts:

Reallytired · 15/08/2009 21:08

What have you got to hide? Midwives and health visitors can spot life threatening problems. Someone who refuses to be visited would set off alarm bells.

HVs and MWs are there for you and your baby's welfare. The women who visited me at home were lovely.

littleducks · 15/08/2009 21:12

I would recommend (this is just me so you can ignore it all) that you allow them the first visit (could your dh be around then for moral support?) and if you are fine and coping then you cvan just ask for their phone number and say you will call if any issues arise but then you wont have made it awkward if you go home and do want someone to check baby for jaundice/latch whatever

PaulDacreEatsBabies · 15/08/2009 21:14

Bloody nora, half the time people are on here bitching about the inadequacies of the NHS, and because some poor MW gave a shit about doing her job properly and your future sexual health you now want to ban MWs from your home?
I think attempting to refuse a MW entry to your home would ring alarm bells too.

My MW kept coming back to my house and not signing me off to HV. After 2 weeks of daily visits when I became concerned that she doubted my abilities, she admitted that I had a nice middle class house to bring her students(her words not mine), was textbook BFer and it was a nice run out to the country.

Perhaps you would prefer to be left alone with infected stitches and PND?

FFS.

Original poster

morethanithot · 15/08/2009 21:14

not to have an arguement or anything, but the government uses the same reasoning to say why id cards are necessary.
what life threatening problems will they be unable to detect at the surgery? i am not saying no, i'm just specifying where we have contact. if they want to see the bambino weekly, it's no skin, as i go past the surgery fairly regularly anyways.

OP posts:

nellie12 · 15/08/2009 21:15

I think it would set alarm bells ringing (probably unnecessarily but even so). I also understand how vulnerable you can feel after birth. I think you can reasonably ask them when they are going o be round. They may not be able to give specific times but can generally give am or pm, 1st visit etc. Can you ask them to give you a rough time and then arrange for someone you trust to be with you? Don't forget that it is your legal right to refuse any treatment or examination that you don't want. However I think (not entirely sure as not a mw) that legally you are under their care for 28 days post birth. hth

Original poster

morethanithot · 15/08/2009 21:16

actually, pauldacre etc, MW did not do her job properly is my point. officiously but not properly.

OP posts:

SoupDragon · 15/08/2009 21:18

You'd have to hike over there the day after giving birth. Do you really want that hassle? I just wanted to be tucked up in bed with my baby.

theyoungvisiter · 15/08/2009 21:18

well I don't know abotu the legalities, but personally I felt much more empowered and safe seeing medical personnel at home.

To use your eg - I am sure I would be more inclined to consent to an examination I didn't want in a surgery to be honest.

If they are in your home they are your guest and on your turf - I'm not sure why you would feel any more "respected" in their surgery?

But I realise that's just my personal take on things.

PaulDacreEatsBabies · 15/08/2009 21:19

What life threatening problems will they be unable to detect at the surgery?

Er, domestic violence?

PND could probably be quite effectively disguised, short term, in a ten minute appointment at the surgery, but there might be give aways in the house which a HV/MW would spot.

PlumBumMum · 15/08/2009 21:22

I think since you are in a different area you don't need to worry about the previous mw anyway,
but I do think it easier to let them come to you, my last mw was brilliant and she asked did I want her to look at my stitches,
I'd rather ly on my own bed and have the mw check my stiches than go all the way to the surgery to have them checked,

As littleducks said can you not make sure your dh is there and can step in if you feel uncomfortable,
mw & hv are there for you & your baby, they are not out to bully you or make you feel uncomfortable

ilovemydogandmrobama · 15/08/2009 21:31

Really great advice LittleDucks.

I didn't enjoy having HVs in my house, but while I have a very open door house where DP's friends/ my friends are welcome and have loads of visitors, was a bit creeped out by H/V visiting. Totally different with midwife who had monitored me and both DCs, and since she lived down the road, would do ante natal home visits.

but the H/V felt like a stranger, and she was for all intents and purposes. I asked the midwife not to discharge me for as long as possible, and then the H/V visited a few times for DD, and only once for DS, when I said that I would prefer going to clinic.

Don't think you should refuse, but at the same time, let them see you are OK, the baby is OK and you are coping (if that's the case).

But at the same time, consider the experience of my cousins in the USA. She had twins by c section and was discharged after 2 days. The babies needed to be checked every day, so they had to go from their house to the doctor, which was a 30 minute drive. Get checked over, weighed, and then they would go home again. They were so jealous when I told them that we were visited at home and didn't have to go out for the early monitoring.

Your call, but the H/V home visits can save a lot of hassle.

Original poster

morethanithot · 15/08/2009 21:39

thanks every one, will think about it and ask midwives too for sake of fairness.
pauldacre: domestic violence can be masked in any environment. the mw did not spot pnd last time, even with give away clues of curtains drawn over windows constantly. i think there was a partial assumption of you are a healthcare worker, you must be ok, as well as a bit of rank pulling.
thanks again tho for all feedback, gratefully received.

OP posts:

traceybath · 15/08/2009 21:44

To be honest having just had dc3 - post-natal funding appears to be at an all time low. So you'll be lucky to get any visits at all.

In my area, the midwifes are now only funded to do 3 visits - day after you get home, day 5 for heel-prick and discharge visit. In other areas they don't come out at all and its up to you to get to the surgery. So I'd check what the situation is in your new area.

mumblecrumble · 15/08/2009 22:06

I had a really good laugh with our midwives and health visitor. Had that many problems it was like they lived with us! I could still tell you how they liked their tea..

So sorry you had bad experience. In some ways I can empathise as I had nasty C-section staples, infections etc etc and when I got home couldn't bare the thought of having more medical checkups and procedures in my own home.

My lot seemed to handle it better than your though as I felt like they took things at my pace, were really friendly [like I said we ended up laughing a lot!]. One midwife was a little pushyish about checking my improving latch and coming twice a day for 3 days but I was very grateful to her as it worked.

I did have a bad experience at scans though and someone said to me that the next time I was feel more confident and more comfortable with it. Perhps you could allow the first visit at home then see how you go?

WHen are you due? Congratulations!!!

Chunkamatic · 15/08/2009 22:22

I think it's your choice, I will not be happy about my HV coming to see my new baby as she is terrible with a capital T! She has given me some plain outrageous advice and one of my friend's some actually potentially dangerous advice... BUT tbh, i'll just let her come, tick her boxes and let her leave again.

I think with child protection issues being such a media focus recentley there is a bit of a "red alert" situation with some of these professionals. My father works for Social Services and he has said since the referral rate from HV's since the Baby P incident has gone through the roof. Not wanting to be alarmist, but would you really want to potentially cause yourself more grief when, like someone else said, you could be tucked up in bed and they could be in and out within 20 mins?

I hear what your saying about your previous experience, but try to feel empowered that it is your house and you are in control of the situation. If you dont want an examination say no. As littleducks says, have your DH there for some moral support.

Good luck whatever you decide!

littleducks · 15/08/2009 22:39

You could always test the water with your mw now, say that you were considering going to stay with your mum or something after the birth and wondered if you could have post natal checks as appointements at the clinic, so you get an idea how awkward it would be

BoBoo · 16/08/2009 06:49

I'm sure you could be seen at the surgery you're more comfortable with that - the important thing should be that you're seen not where it is. I don't know if the checks vary from area to area, but I've never had the sleeping area or anything like that checked - only questions on how we're doing.

I do agree it would be easier for you to seem at home though (although maybe not easier for you if it's causing all this anxiety). An option might be that you request a particular midwife you've seen during your pregnancy that you felt comfortable with. As the visits can be scheduled it should be easier to accomodate than say a request that you get someone particular for the birth. I could never predict who I was going to get for my antenatal appointments but got the same midwife, my favourite, for all the postnatal checks.

KatyS36 · 16/08/2009 14:49

I think I understand where you are coming from as I had a really terrible first midwife, totally unsupportive and extremely rude. If you had this type of experience last time I would understand why you would not want them in you house. I think some poeple who have had lovely care don't understand how upsetting this type of treatment can be. The visit maybe only for 20 minutes, but if it leaves you in tears for the rest of the day.....

I'm lucky as my husband will have 4 weeks off work when I have the baby. I'm only planning to accept (routine) visits from healthcare professionals if I have met them before or if my husband is present. (I would accept visits from anyone though if I thought the baby was in distress).

I actually think you have much more control at the surgery - you can just leave!

Ironically I have never had a problem with a home visit from a GP. It's just some professionals have particular form of nastiness when it comes to pregnancy which has to be seen to be believed.

Flip

1 2